Chapter 58: Chapter Fifty-eight

When Dad died, I felt my whole world crash. It was like a porcelain doll falling from a high shelf and shattering on the floor. All of its beauty that everyone saw is all gone. Death is inevitable but he should’ve lived longer—did God hear my prayer?

“You should eat, Rachel.”

Faintly shaking my head, I rejected the packed food Chad handed me for what seemed the tenth time today. It’s not that I wasn’t hungry but whatever I eat just comes out in vomit anyways. What’s the use of feeding a crippled soul at the moment?

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Chad set it aside in hopes that I would eat it later. I doubt that it will happen. “You know, you shouldn’t starve yourself like this.” he began as he sat beside me. “Your father…” I flinched at the mention of the deceased man, still not over it. It’s been one week and still my mind can't process what just happened. “...he wouldn’t like to see his daughter all skinny and sad.”

“Skinny and sad, huh?” I exhaled and closed my eyes. “I guess that’s what I want. To become skinny and sad. Can’t I mourn in my own way?”

I wasn’t feeling irritated, just tired. I appreciated how Chad wants to take care of me—but what about when I don’t want any of his sympathy at the moment?

“Your way of mourning is dangerous!” he scolded, shaking his head in disapproval. “Do you think I’d allow you to continue this… this ‘mourning’ of yours?”

“Just leave me be.” I groaned and turned away, facing the empty space instead of the blond man. “You don’t have to worry about me at the moment. I’ll get over this soon…somehow.” I whispered the last part and propped my chin with my hand. Not wanting my lament to be disturbed.

Father died on the second day of his admittance in the hospital. No one was at the room that time because Mom had to fix a few things, Harvey went to school and I was at work. The doctor said he had a heart attack during his sleep. Dad was about to get a surgery that day but died before he could. We were just devastated when we got a call from Dr. Hill that Dad had passed away.

My tears wouldn’t stop flowing down my cheeks like a broken faucet until there were no more tears to pour out. Soul feeling emptier than a dark room. How could this happen to us? What did we do wrong? What did Dad do wrong? He didn’t kill anybody nor deceive anyone. Why did this happen to him?

Why is death inevitable?

“Baby, I’m worried about you. You shouldn’t take these kinds of things too lightly.” he chided again, “Just eat a small amount and I’ll never bother you about it until you want to eat it yourself.” Taking the packed meal, he handed it to me. “Please.”

Images of Mom crying entered my mind as well as Harvey’s sorrowful face. The pictures moving in my head clouded my vision. Dad’s casket being lowered down and buried six feet under filled my mind; the memory very vivid. It made me feel sick all of a sudden. Seeing that I was gagging on my seat, Chad was quick to take me to the restroom—we passed by a shocked Patty, who was now back to be my assistant—where I started dry heaving.

“Here,” Chad handed me a bottle of cool water that Patty handed to him. His other hand holding my blonde hair away from my face. “To wash away the taste.”

Spitting out what seems to be the last of what I ate last night, I exhaled deeply while leaning on the sink. Mom was insisting that I eat dinner even if I didn’t feel like doing so. This is probably why I’ve been feeling sick, forcing myself to eat when I’m not even starving. It’s exhausting.

His hand was rubbing my back so lovingly that I almost fell asleep right then and there. The lack of sleep was catching up to me. Of course, Chad didn’t allow that and hurriedly removed me from the sink. A groan was all I elicited when he inquired if I was already okay. I was obviously not, physically and emotionally but I was not going to admit that.

“You should go home and rest, Rachel. No work for you. It’s for your own good.”

They were all saying the same thing. That I should just stay home instead of working here at my company but even if I was sad inside, I couldn’t help but cling to the last hope of not being the next CEO of Maxwell Inc.—even if I know that I’ll be. Father dying sealed that fate and there’s nothing I can do about it. Unless I cross my mother and give the position up. Dad might even rise from the dead to reprimand me of my reckless actions.

“No… I can’t, Chad.”

It shocked the man into silence to hear me say that I was still staying to work. This kind of act should be praised or appreciated—you can’t find people like this these days. However, instead of praising me like I expect him to do, Chad only frowned in anger. “Are you serious about this, Rachel? Do you know what’s going to happen to you if you work further? You’ll get sick!”

“That’s all right—”

“No. It’s not.” I watched as Chad sighed while rubbing his forehead out of frustration. “You’re not being careful! Do you want the same thing that occurred to your father to happen to you as well?”

Teeth gritted tightly, I turned away. “Don’t bring that up right now, Chad.” That was just a low blow. I can’t believe he tried using it against me, him of all people. “If you don’t want to be all frustrated like this then I suggest you leave me be. I don’t need you here!”

The moment those words left my lips, I instantly regretted saying them. But how can you take back the words you already said? I didn’t bother looking at him; just hearing his footsteps walking away was enough to tell me he was leaving.

Wait! Don’t leave me, Chad! What I said was wrong. Don’t go…

The door was shut tightly when I turned to call his name, begging for him not to leave me. I was too late, however. Chad was now out the door, probably had enough of my stupidity. It’s not that I intended to drive him away. As a matter of fact, I needed his comfort the most for the loss of my beloved father. But I understand why he wants to go—me being a whiny bitch is probably triggering a headache.

Elicited a sigh, I wiped the fallen tears away from my cheeks.

Is this my punishment for being selfish? People I love leaving me. What should I do? Should I just let go of my dreams and take Dad’s position?

I left the restroom only for Patty asking me if I was already feeling well and why Chad left. Not bothering to answer her second question, I asked her to bring me the next batch of papers to sign. She hesitantly gave me a weird look before nodding. Obviously thrown off by what happened. Patty didn’t have to know whether Chad and I were dating. I’m sure she already knew the moment he arrived.

“Yes, Miss Maxwell.”

Sitting behind the desk, my eyes wandered to my cellphone on top of my laptop. I merely stared at it for a few minutes, contemplating whether or not to call my mother.

If I do it… there’s no turning back. And I don’t, I’ll continue punishing those around me.

Without another second wasted, I grabbed it and called Mom. In just two rings, she answered.

“What is it, dear?”

“Mom. We need to talk.”

***

“Happy birthday, Harvey!”

With one breath, Harvey extinguished the thirteen candles that were glowing brightly. After that, a round of applause and cheers broke through the silence. A grin spread across the boy’s face, it didn’t reach his ears like it usually does, but it was a grin nevertheless. Sean didn’t take notice and pushed his gift in front of Harvey’s face.

“Harvey, open my gift first! See what I got for you!”

“It’s a new game for his PlayStation.” Francine whispered into my ear as Harvey was unwrapping his present. All I could do was nod. Patton was just silently standing next to Francine, quite happy to be here to celebrate Harvey’s birthday. Mom, on the other hand, was just watching Harvey undo the wrapping only to gasp at the content it hid.

“Geez, I don’t know what to say, Sean.” Harvey smiled at the new game he got. “But thanks. I’ll make sure to play this one right away.”

His comment made the little boy smile and hug him which startled Harvey. The winter night moved on, just eating and drinking. The birthday boy was happy that it was just a small party only with family and close friends. Mom didn’t force him to do anything this time like she often do. Especially when she throws a party for him but surprisingly she didn’t. I know the reason why.

“What is it, Harv?” I asked the boy who was just staring at his birthday cake. “Why the long face?”

“I miss Dad.” He whispers, not wanting anybody to hear. For fear he might ruin the happy mood that Mom tried hard to bring up. “I wish he could’ve lived to be here today.”

Eyes wandering to our family portrait hung on the wall, my gaze lingered longer on Dad’s small smile as he stood proudly on the photo. I could remember the day we took this photo all too well.

“Look at the camera, Sir!”

“All right, young man!” Dad chuckled as he brushed the comb mother gave to him. “Just give me a second to brush my hair so I’d look decent!”

“Honey, just don’t brush it too much!” Mom laughed at Dad who was so serious in brushing his brown hair. “It looks fine now.”

He smiled. “Really? All right son, let’s take this picture now!”

“Dad, can I stand next to you?” Harvey looked up to the older Maxwell with puppy eyes. He didn’t know that he doesn’t have to go through such lengths—Dad actually wanted his son next to him.

“Of course, Harvey.”

We all positioned nicely in front of the camera, wearing our best smiles as the man counted to three. A flash momentarily blinded me that I almost blinked rapidly but held back so I wouldn’t ruin the photo.

“You look beautiful, dear.” Dad grinned at me, patting my head. “I’m so happy to have you as my daughter.”

“Me too, Harvey. Me too.”

The boy was whisked away by Sean to play the new game the young boy gave him. I watched them leave while Henry followed the both of them to set their game up.

“Are you okay?”

Looking away from the portrait, memories of it fading out and back to where they belong, I turned to Chad. After that day he walked out, he called me after an hour and apologized. I was shaking my head the whole time during that conversation. Saying it wasn’t his fault but mine. We made up after that, not wanting to fight forever when all we got was each other to lean on. What we also fought over was childish and that was my fault.

“Yeah… I’m fine.” I leaned on his left side, smelling his cologne. “I just miss my Dad.”

“Hey, you two love birds, do you guys want wine?” I chuckled at Francine's dry tone and nodded, detaching myself from Chad’s warmth. After making up with Chad that day, I decided not to keep Francine from the dark and told her that we were dating. She was shocked then angry at first. Demanding why I didn’t tell her when it was so obvious. That she could tell that I was hiding something. Patton was just silent by her side. He may not look like it but Patton’s wise. Very wise. Even if Francine still appears to be angry at me for keeping it a secret, I can tell she has already forgiven me even if she said she hasn’t.

They deserve each other. Patton and Francine. I want them to be happy…

Everybody in the family and friends ever since that day knew about our relationship. Some were surprised, some already knew but was happy and one was quite annoyed by it. Specifically Harvey. The boy wasn’t pleased by it at first since I didn’t tell him earlier. However, he was fine with our relationship unless Chad decides to ‘hurt’ me. Seriously, this boy…

It was only Dad who didn’t know, even on his deathbed, I was too afraid to tell him. Now I’ll never know whether he approves or not. If he didn’t, I was planning to convince him. I’ll never know his reaction towards our love—for fear that it might just be the very thing that will trigger another heart attack. Little did I know he’d die in his sleep.

This is my punishment.

About to reach for the glass of wine Francine handed to me, my phone in the pocket of my jeans vibrated. I sighed and took it out, only to see that it was Patty. She was the only thing that reminded me of my past in that little company of mine. This is the eleventh time she called today. I wonder what’s bothering her.

“This is Maxwell.”

“Hello, Miss Maxwell. I’m sorry if I’m disturbing you at your brother’s party but Mr. Kang requests to see you at this moment. He said that he needs your confirmation about the paperwork he needs to send to the other company.”

Again?

“Tell Mr. Kang I can’t see him right now. Did you tell him I’m busy? I specified that I would not be available the whole day. He should’ve told me yesterday.”

“I know, Miss Maxwell. I apologize—”

“It’s all right, Patty.” I interjected, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Just tell Mr. Kang to email them to me. I’ll go over the paperwork this evening.”

“Yes, Miss Maxwell.”

Releasing a sigh, I pocketed my phone and faced Chad who was sporting a concerned look. “Who was that, Rachel?”

“It was just Patty. Said that one of Dad’s employees was wondering what to do with the paperwork I gave him.”

“Something tells me he’s quite a nuisance.”

I shook my head, chuckling softly. “He’s… all right. I guess.”

“Wait a minute, you said Dad’s—”

At the correction, I went stiff and found Chad apologizing repeatedly. “It’s not your fault. You merely corrected my mistake. I guess I have to remind myself every day, huh?”

His lips turned into a thin line. “I guess you should. I understand how you feel, still in the state of shock even after a week. It’s understandable.”

Moving away from the portrait, I settled on the couch. Honestly, I was kind of proud of myself for accepting it but at the same time, I was sick of it. Every day, it’s just the same. Enter the office, do work then go home— if I’m lucky not to have any meetings. I would just ignore the dark bags forming under my eyes, a sign of my sleepless nights. It was like an escapade into mountains of paperwork that needs to be conquered.

It’s a living nightmare.

I wish to leave it one day.

“Here, to make you forget it.” I shook my head, declining another glass of wine Chad handed me. One more glass and I’ll surely pass out.

“I’m sorry, Chad…” I sighed and leaned back on the couch. The warmth emitted by the thermostat makes the place cozier than the lodge we have in Germany. “But I can’t drink another glass. I still have work to do tonight.”

The blond man shrugged. “Suit yourself, baby. After all, it’s normal…” he gave me a look with a small smile on his lips. “...for being the new CEO of your father’s company.”