Chapter 45: Forty-five.

There was a cool breeze blowing over Colt's skin, pulling it up into goosebumps across the top layer. Frowning at the unwanted intrusion, she burrowed closer into the warmth beside her, breathing in the comforting scent as deeply as she could. But the cool breeze was still there, making its unwanted self known, and so her hand began groping around, looking for the blanket to pull across her body as a shield. But there was no blanket either, only skin, not just hers though, Calum's.

The thought made her smile as she began purring, nuzzling in closer yet again to her mate. Colt's smile widened, as Calum's purrs began to echo her own, while his arms wrapped about her, pulling her tightly to him. Their legs were a tangled mass of limbs, and everywhere his skin touched hers, more of the cold receded; this making her search out more contact automatically. But, when his nose brushed against the mark he left on her shoulder her body began with little vibrating shocks of pleasure, and the most delightful shivers she had ever experienced.

"Mine," he whispered against her and she could feel his smile.

"Yours," she responded, pulling her face back slightly, to look at him.

However, as soon as Colt opened her eyes, it was like the spell around them was broken, the memories of the previous night hit into her like a freight train. She had killed her mother's rapist. She almost attacked her Dad. But, most pressing, she and Calum had consummated their bond. Joining together in a damn cave of all places.

Before she could stop herself she ripped her body from Calum's embrace and threw up. Her body was trembling, as she sat back down her shivers from the cold only adding to her tremors. Her hands reached up and began fisting and pulling at her hair from the scalp, as she was consumed with panic.

Colt and Calum had given in. They had mated, she didn't understand how she could slip up like this, not with what was at stake.

"No. No. No. No." She cried, as her body violently trembled. Colt was shaking her head from side to side, as if by rattling her head hard enough she could reverse what had happened.

Calum was at her side in a second, "Colt, breathe." He ordered, too worried about her, to be concerned or insulted about her reaction.

But Colt's hyperventilating only got worse, despite the calming heat her mate radiated. She was entering into a full blown panic attack where her body couldn't have even shifted if she wanted it to. Right now, she was struggling to make sure her body could breathe adequately.

Calum found himself pulling her arms away from her head, and yanking her forcefully out of her crouched position, moving her against himself instead.

"Damn it, Woman! Breathe!" He demanded, his worry becoming a forceful demand. "With me now, come on. In," he stated, pulling in a long slow breath, "and out." He controlled the exhale, willing Colt to copy him, "In." He inhaled, "and out." He stated before slowly exhaling again.

After a few more repetitions, Colt found and matched his rhythm, allowing the comfort of his body to sooth her as much as the breathing technique, after a few minutes she relaxed into him, and her heart rate calmed down, enough to talk.

"I've killed him." She stated in disbelief, tears welling in her eyes.

"Aye, but Arthur was a lousy excuse of breath. He deserved it, whatever it was he did." Calum stated, not a single doubt in his mind about Colt's motives.

"He raped my mother." Colt choked out quietly, frowning before adding, "But, I meant Elijah. I wasn't talking in about Arthur, I know he deserved it." She sighed, pulling her head up from where it was buried against Calum's chest to look up at him, "Calum? What have I done?" She sobbed.

"Shhh," he soothed pulling her head back against his chest, he wasn't quite sure what else to say. He didn't want Colt to carry the guilt of Elijah's death, but he couldn't bring himself to regret mating with her. He wanted to, for her sake, but his sense of self had never felt more whole, and he liked it. Liked the connection that being fully mated to Colt gave him. He felt complete.

Colt found more comfort than she believed she was deserving of when Calum began stroking her hair, and it caused her to pull away, yet again. Her guilt didn't want comfort, it wanted to know she hadn't made an irreversible and catastrophic mistake.

"I... we.. we have to go. I have to know." She stated shakily.

"Alright, let's go then," Calum stated, helping Colt to her feet, before pausing and grasping her hand tightly, "Wait, how, will you, I mean, fuck. Love, what if he is fine; how will you find out without.. without... without him finding you?" Calum voiced out his worst fear.

Colt froze mid step. Her own hand tightening around Calum's as she was leading him to the mouth of the cave. He was right, she would have to tread very carefully, to make sure she didn't reveal herself to Elijah. Because, even if he were just hospitalized, he would recover and then he would come looking, following the traces of any breadcrumbs he could, and he couldn't find her. Just no.

"I don't know yet," Colt admitted, "I... I will work it out on the way." She stammered with a frown.

Calum was beside her in an instant, his rough thumb rubbing away at the crease between her brows, "Know one thing," he stated steadily, as he wrapped his arms about her, pulling her flush against him, "Whatever happens, I will never let you go, Colt."

He said it with such finality. Such determination, and Colt was under no illusions about how much the man in front of her still desired her even now, pressed against her as he was, every hardened inch of his body, straining to get closer to her, as they spoke about the first man to claim his bond to her.

Calum pulled away first, because if he didn't, he would have never let her go, and it left Colt with an unpleasant chill dancing across her skin.

"Come on, Love." He stated, before shifting into his wildcat form in front of her.

She abscentmindedly wondered how he managed to make even that look sexy, before she shifted herself into her own cat form, and followed him out of the cave, along the scree filled ledge, till they were headed home. To face all the carnage the night before had wrought.

Colt and Calum walked, heading onto lower ground while rubbing against one another with every step. They traversed through the frozen Scottish wilderness; the rain that had followed the blizzard had washed most of the snow away, leaving behind broken patches of semi thawed white ice, surrounding boggy patches of peat, or heather shrubs and the larger gorse bushes. The lower they descended off of the hill, the more the were surrounded with wet earth instead of frozen, and by the time they reached the croft house, the bleak weather was like any other wet spring day.

The storm had passed, till winter at least.

On approach, the house looked quiet, the caravan lights were off as well, and most importantly the body outside was gone; which was much to Colt's relief. When she shifted back to her human form to open the door, it was with a shaking outstretched hand, she felt exposed. After all that Arthur had said and implied, there was something about standing in the same spot he had spoken, naked that made her feel vulnerable. Her shaking hand was only steadied when Calum's own hand grasped over the top of it. Colt turned and stepped into his waiting arms, tears slowly and silently trailing down her cheeks. After a moment in the solitude he provided, she nodded her head with a sniffle, before turning and opening the door.

They walked silently into the house together, spotting that Lewis was asleep on the sofa, snuggled under his blankets and snoring away like a pig with the flu. The sight made Colt smile, seeing her brother settled, safe and content in sleep.

Colt and Calum walked upstairs without making a sound, and once within Colt's bedroom they sighed with relief. Finally, Colt felt the protective barriers of her inner sanctuary close around them.

Colt discovered the time was a little before six in the morning, according to the clock on her cell, as well as that, she had four missed calls from Maeve.

*'Typical'* She thought to herself, while shaking her head, she had been trying to get a hold of her for, what felt like forever, and last night she called.

She picked it up off the table, before moving to collect a blanket, and wrapping herself up, she paused and thought for a second. Then after changing her cell settings so her caller id would be hidden, she dialed the number.

Meanwhile, Calum shrugged on some boxer shorts and sat beside Colt on the bed, holding her free hand quietly, as she waited for what may be the worst news any shifter could receive, that they had killed their mate.

"Hello?" She asked when a woman answered, "Marissa?"

"Yeah. Colt? is that you?" Came the confused response.

"Who is it, honey?" Marcus' voice sounded in the distance, as he approached his mate.

"It's your cousin. I think," Marissa responded.

"I have six, maybe be more specific?"

Colt could hear Marcus tease his wife. The overly domestic scene made her smile for them, they sounded happy.

"Colt, Girl, are you alright?" Marissa asked, scowling with a smile at her husband.

Colt snapped out of her stupor, "Yeah, sorry Marissa, how are you?"

"I'm good, but this is a late call, we were just heading to bed," Marissa answered.

"Sorry, I wont be long. Is Marcus about, I just have to have a quick answer about something?" Colt apologised, knowing with the time difference, she was lucky to catch them at all.

"Sure thing, here he is," she responded, handing over the phone, before kissing Marcus and heading upstairs to bed.

"Hey Colt, what's up?" Marcus asked curiously, his eyes never leaving his mate's swaying hips as she walked away from him.

Deciding to dive right in, Colt began, "Okay, so I have a favour, and I need you to do it, no questions asked, can you do that? Since you owe me and all," she teased.

"I owe you?" Marcus replied, giving Colt his full attention now Marissa was out of sight.

"Yeah, you do. For telling Elijah I was in France. Which you knew was supposed to be a secret." Colt slyly spoke, "Don't deny it."

"Shit." Marcus swore, "I'm sorry, he was just so... and you're his mate. I wanted him to know you were okay. I honestly didn't think he would hop on a plane."

Colt smirked, "Would you? For Marissa?"

"Well, come on now. That's hardly fair," Marcus objected.

"Oh really? "Colt asked.

Marcus sighed hearing Marissa start up the shower, "Really. But yes I would. Any mate would. But he needed something Colt, it was killing him inside, and he is still my friend."

Colt sighed, "Look, I get it, Marcus, I do. I don't like it, but I get it. However, you still owe me..."

"Okay, okay, I guess do, I'm sorry. What do you need?" Marcus conceded.

Colt smiled at her victory, "I need you to call Elijah, and check he is okay. Then let me know."

"But, why wouldn't he be okay? He seemed fine earlier, a little unfocused maybe; especially for a business dinner, we've just bought some new forestry tracts. Only left him an hour ago too," Marcus questioned her, "What do you think is wrong? Does this mean you're coming home? You should know, he has changed a lot, but he misses you. That much is more than apparent..."

"Wait, an hour ago?" Colt interrupted, "And nothing strange had happened? He wasn't in pain?" She asked frantically, clinging to the lifeline her cousin unwittingly offered her.

"No, like I said, he was fine, just a bit unfocused, like there was something on his mind. But, that's not unusual for Eli. He misses his mate. Are you coming home, Colt?" Marcus responded hopefully.

Colt could feel Calum stiffen beside her, his grip on her hand tightening.

"Marcus, I am home," she replied, looking into Calum's eyes with soft, yet sincere smile, "I won't be coming back to the States. Please do not tell him I called, he doesn't need the false hope."

"But, Colt..." Marcus went to argue back.

"Its late, go to bed cousin, your mate is waiting for you. Give my love to Marissa, good night." Colt stated as she hung up the phone and turned to Calum. "He's okay. Nothing happened," she stated in disbelief, tears streaming from her eyes, as the relief washed over her.

"Aye, I heard, Love," Calum spoke quietly, "But, why didn't you tell Marcus about me?" He asked, uncomfortable with just how much focus the wolf had taken up from Colt.

Colt smirked at Calum's insecurity and shook her head feeling too light hearted at what this all meant, "Two reasons Casanova, and I will tell you both, once you scrub the dirt off of all the hard to reach areas on my body," she stated seductively. "Come on, we need a shower, and if you are really good," she stated as she stood letting the blanket pool around her feet, "I'll return the favour." She whispered coyly, her eyes lighting up with mischief.

Calum's eyes followed Colt, till she turned to look back over her shoulder at him from the bedroom door.

"You coming?"