Zeke
“I’m a terrible person.”
I’m back on the porch with Miss Penny, who’s regarding me with an unreadable expression. I have no doubt that she knows what happened this morning, the same way she’s aware of everything that goes on in this house.
I don’t need her to tell me that I fucked up. I was supposed to warn Julia about the threat Amos poses, not claim her. Even though she’d thought it was a dream, I still had no right to trick her like that. I feel so guilty that I can hardly think about anything else.
“Do you regret it?” Miss Penny asks suddenly, breaking me from my cocoon of self pity.
I shake my head. “It was amazing,” I admit abashedly. “But I feel like I took advantage of her. How can I ever fix this?”
“You start by doing right by her,” she replies sternly. “You need to come clean.”
I hate that she’s right. It would be far easier to just pretend it never happened, but I owe Julia so much more than that. She deserves to be treated with honesty and respect.
She deserves the truth.
Miss Penny wanders off a short while later, leaving me to contemplate my next move as I stare blankly out at the swamp. There’s nothing much for me to do but ruminate until I hear Helen’s car retreating down the driveway.
It’s now or never.
Not giving myself a chance to reconsider, I abandon my post on the porch and step inside the house, making a beeline for the kitchen.
Julia sits on a stool at the island, scrolling through her cell phone.
“Zeke!” she exclaims, dropping the device in surprise. It lands on the granite countertop with a dull thud. She presses one hand to her heart and shakes her head. “You scared me!”
“I’m sorry,” I apologize quickly. I’ve barely said a few words, and I’m already fucking this up even more. “I didn’t mean to barge in like this. The back door was open and I–”
Julia holds up one hand, cutting me off. “Don’t worry about it,” she dismisses. “I need to ask you something. Do you believe in curses?”
Shocked, I linger in the doorway. I’d expected her to be upset with me about simply walking into her house, but she doesn’t seem concerned with that at all. Instead, she’s strangely excited.
“What’s happened?” I ask, hoping that Amos hasn’t gotten to her and that I’m not too late.
“There’s something out in the swamp,” she says. Her eyes search mine in the seconds that follow, desperately looking for any sign of ridicule.
“I know,” I reply simply. “That’s what I came to tell you.”
It’s Julia’s turn to be stunned. “I don’t mean, like, an animal,” she says slowly, as though she thinks I’ve misunderstood. “It’s… something else.”
Relief surges through me as I realize that she knows. Helen was here earlier, wasn’t she? I bet she’s the one who told Julia.
“I know it sounds crazy,” Julia rambles when I don’t respond. “But I’ve seen things there in the marsh. A man that’s not a man. And I’ve heard things. There were footsteps upstairs and children laughing. And then Tanner showed up, but I don’t think it was actually him. I think it just looked like him…”
“How much did Helen tell you?” I ask, interrupting her stream of consciousness. “About this land? About the swamp?”
Julia eyes me anxiously. I can tell she doesn’t know whether I believe her or not. Finally, she says, “I know about the murders, if that’s what you mean.”
I nod. “What else?”
“People see things out here. Helen told me about… an entity.”
“A demon,” I state. She flinches as the word.
“So you believe it?” she gasps, finally understanding that I’m serious. “You don’t think I’m crazy?”
I want to laugh at the sheer absurdity of the situation, but I don’t want Julia to think I’m making fun of her, so I bite it back. Instead, I answer, “No, you’re not crazy. Amos is real.”
Julia’s gaze shoots to mine at the mention of the demon’s name. “You’ve seen it?” she presses.
“I have,” I admit. “That’s part of what I wanted to talk to you about. I’ve had the deep misfortune of knowing Amos personally.”
A shocked gasp escapes from Julia’s lips. “What happened? Did it hurt you?” She stands up and reaches for me, clasping my hands in hers as she looks me over in concern.
I shake my head. “Don’t worry about me,” I assure her. Someday I’ll tell her about my run in with Amos, but not today. “You’re the one who’s in danger.”
Fear flashes across Julia’s delicate features, but she doesn’t seem surprised. Helen must have already told her what Amos wants. “I know,” she confirms softly. In spite of the terror, her eyes shine with hard determination. “I’m not going to let it hurt me. Helen and I have a plan.”
“A plan?” I repeat. It’s going to have to be one hell of a strategy if they’re hoping to take down a demon.
“We’re going down to New Orleans later this afternoon. Helen knows somebody she thinks can help.”
It’s a pretty thought, but not a practical one. “Amos is strong,” I caution. “He won’t go down without a fight.” I know that firsthand, and I can’t help but think that it’s a losing battle, no matter what kind of power they’ve got on their side.
“I have to try,” Julia insists. “What else am I supposed to do?”
I squeeze her hands in mine. “You could run,” I urge. “Get out of here and run as far away from this godforsaken swamp as you can get.”
“I can’t,” she claims, but I hear the doubt in her voice.
“You can,” I argue. “Leave while you still have time.”
“And what about you?”
I blink, not understanding. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not going to leave you here in Hahnville with an actual demon running loose,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. Then something bright passes over her expression and she adds, “Come with me.”
The suggestion is staggering. Does she understand what she’s saying? One look at her tells me that she does, and that she’s dead serious.
“I can’t,” I whisper in a voice broken with regret. God, I want to. I’d give anything to go with her, to follow her anywhere she wants to wander. The thought of it makes my heart ache.
“Please,” she begs, squeezing my hands in her own. I recall all of the places my fingers touched this morning, and I think I’d cry if I could.
“I want to,” I manage to force out. “I really fucking want to.”
“So do it.” She says it as though it’s the simplest thing in the world.
But it’s not. How can I explain what ties me here? How can I face the betrayal and fear in her eyes once she knows who I really am?
“You can’t tell me you didn’t feel it when we kissed,” she presses, her hands releasing mine to run over my chest. “That spark was like nothing I’ve ever felt before.”
A lump catches in my throat, and I feel sick to my stomach because she’s right. There is something special between us. Maybe that’s why I’m here, why I was drawn to the old Gregory property in the first place. Maybe Julia and I were always meant to meet.
But why did it have to be like this?
Julia’s fingers curl into the fabric of my shirt. She’s so close that our chests are almost touching. If I lean down just a few inches, my lips will be on hers, and we’ll be able to lose ourselves in one another.
“I want you,” I confess. “More than anything. More than life itself.”
“Then take me,” Julia challenges. Heat simmers behind her eyes, a wildfire of desire barely held at bay.
I want to give in. Oh God, I fucking want her. I can feel my resolve crumbling with each passing second as the flames of her desire lick over me.
But I can’t.
I can’t.
“You dream about me,” I breathe. I’m unable to look away from the goddess that burns before me.
Biting her lip, she nods.
“Tell me what you dream about.”
Her mouth quirks up in a coquettish smirk. “I dream about your hands on me,” she starts as she takes one last step toward me, closing the distance between us. She leans in, and her next words fan tantalizingly over the shell of my ear. “And your tongue.”
This is a terrible idea, but I can’t seem to bring myself to stop her as her hands trace down my chest toward the riveted planes of my abs. My cock stiffens in anticipation, and I know she must feel my hardening length pressing against her belly.
I allow myself the pleasure of feeling her fingers toy with the button of my trousers before I grab her hands in mine, stopping her progress.
“I want this,” I say earnestly, hoping she understands just how serious I am. “I want you. But I can’t.”
Hurt flashes in Julia’s eyes, and she takes a step back. The molten heat between us recedes by a few degrees, but it’s still there, raging in the negative space between us.
“Is it because of Jake?” she asks in a defeated tone.
I shake my head vehemently.
“Then what?” she demands.
“It’s complicated,” I sigh. “I can’t leave Hahnville.”
Julia tips her face down toward the floor, and I realize she doesn’t want me to see the tears that well in her eyes. “Fine,” she sniffles. “I understand.”
“You don’t,” I insist. “I want to go with you. I want us to be together. But we can’t. We’re too… different.”
“I see,” she replies sardonically. I realize too late what she thinks I mean.
I open my mouth to finally tell her the truth like she deserves, but I’m not even able to get a single word out before the sound of a car in the driveway interrupts.
“That must be Helen,” Julia mutters. “I need to leave.”
“Julia, wait,” I implore, but she’s already pushing past me into the hallway.
My heart breaks as I watch her retreat. She only pauses at the front door. Without turning around she says, “Goodbye, Zeke.”
And then she’s gone, the door slamming behind her in her wake.
I stand there until the shadows lengthen, unwilling to accept defeat. It isn’t until evening falls that I feel Miss Penny’s presence at my elbow.
“You did your best,” she consoles.
“No, I didn’t. I just made it worse.”
Miss Penny shakes her head. “You tried, and that’s what counts.”
How can that be true when the only thing that counts to me just walked out that door with one final goodbye?
I’ve lost her.
I failed.
I have nothing else to exist for.