Chapter 65 Irony.

Chapter 65 Irony.
Laramie:

After sitting on the floor, wheeping, for almost an hour my eyes burned, my throat felt hoarse, and my body ached.

I guess that some part of me still hoped that if I just stayed there long enough - that if I just cried hard enough, Ethan would eventually show up and make it all better again.

What a strange contradiction that was. Ethan was the one responsible for the pain that I was feeling, but somehow I also felt like he was the only one that could make it all go away.

He was the one that I wanted to see.

He was the one I wanted to wrap his arms around me and hold me close.

I wanted him to stroke my hair as I cried on his shoulder.

It was his voice that I wanted to hear whispering to me that everything was going to be fine. That we'd figure it all out, and that we'd find a way to make it all work.

I suddenly missed the warmth and strength of his body pressed against mine. I missed the smell of his cologne and old books that clung to him and filled my senses every time he was around. I longed for the taste of his lips on mine, the sound of his voice as he spoke.

I wanted him so much that it actually hurt.

And I hated myself for it.

I should hate him for what he did. I shouldn't want to see him or be near him ever again. But I didn't.

And I didn't understand it. It didn't make any sense at all.

I was still reeling from the night before as well as my fight with Zoey and Noah. I was still feeling vulnerable and raw from the things that have happened.

That was what I told myself because it was the only thing that made sense and I desperately wanted it to be true.

The alternative was just too awful to think about.

I finally managed to pull myself together enough to get up off the floor, wipe my face with the back of my hands, and run a few fingers through my hair to try and at least neaten it a little.

Sitting there and waiting for something that wasn't going to happen was useless.

I tried...

I tried everything that I could to find Ethan and to warn him.

I did what I could.

My conscience was clear even though my heart was heavy.

What I needed was a good night's rest so that I could gather my thoughts and think clearly. In the morning, I would try to find Noah again and beg him, if that's what I had to do, on my hands and knees not to tell anyone about what he knew, especially not his mother.

I knew that I had no right to ask and that he had every right to go straight to his mother with the information that he had. All I could do was hope that he hadn't done it yet and that he would hear my desperate pathetic plea and agree.

I slumped back down the stairs and waited for my cab to arrive. I spent the entire ride back to my dorm feeling numb and utterly empty on the inside, staring out of the window at the passing lights and darkening sky.

When I arrived back on campus, I slumped back to my dorm with my shoulders curved inward and my head hanging low. I actually jumped when I closed the door behind me and Elodie spoke - in my deep state of misery, I had completely forgotten about her and the fact that we share a dorm.

"And where exactly have you been all night, young lady?"

She was teasing me, peering up over the cover of a book that she was reading, cocking one of her perfectly manicured eyebrows. A sly smile playing around her sensual mouth.

"Nowhere." Was all I could manage.

I loved Elodie, but I resented her for being here and for always being so damn chipper. I wanted to be alone. I needed quiet so that I could think - could figure out this mess that I was in.

And a part of me silently wished that I could be more like Elodie: always so happy, without a single care in the world. To me, she seemed so light, like she had nothing weighing her down.

I was endlessly jealous of her for that.

"Doesn't sound very interesting at all, sweety." She mused.

"It wasn't. I'm going to take a shower."

I turned to open the door again, but the sound of Elodie tsking loudly stopped me in my tracks.

"Not so fast, young lady. I heard that you got yourself into quite the bit of trouble today."

Her words sent an ice-cold shiver crawling down my spine. My heart began to race again. I turned around slowly to look at her again. She was grinning from ear to ear.

"What are you talking about?" I tried to keep my voice as bland and as uninterested as I could. My face giving nothing away about the storm raging inside me.

"I heard that you got into quite the little spat in front of that hot English professor's classroom today." Her grin grew even wider.

My blood chilled. "Where did you hear that?"

She put threw the book down beside her on the bed and sat up straight, her bright eyes gleaming with curiosity.

"Where didn't I hear about it, sweet? It's all over campus today. The way you and that Zoey girl went at it and how Noah stepped between the two of you and pulled you away from everyone. And then he apparently stormed off later after the two of you had a heated conversation behind a tree... it's positively scandalous!"

I could literally feel the colour draining from my face. I slumped onto my bead, burying my face in my hands. I could feel Elodie staring at me. My face began to burn.

"They really didn't leave anything out, did they." I murmured into my hands.

The next thing I knew, Elodie was sitting next to me with her arm slung over my shoulders. She drew me in close to her. Her voice dripping with excitement when she spoke again.

"No, they didn't. But now I want to hear it all from you. Every single dirty detail."

I groaned and fell back against the mattress, my face still covered. I didn't feel much like reliving the entire sordid thing, but I knew that Elodie wouldn't let it go until I gave her exactly what she wanted.

I loosed a tight breath through my palms and propped myself up on my elbows. Elodie was looking at me like I was about to give her the greatest gift of her life.

Only because I had no other choice, I began to tell her everything.

Well... almost everything.