Chapter 10 First Power Surge
Tasha:
The night did not feel empty.
It pressed against my skin like a held breath, thick with pine, damp earth, and something sharper….something restless. The forest behind the clinic stretched wide and uneven, shadows folding into each other as if they were alive, watching, waiting.
“Slow,” Neel had said earlier, his voice calm but firm. “You don’t force control. You let it answer you.”
Right now, it felt like nothing inside me wanted to answer gently.
I stood barefoot on the cold ground, toes curling instinctively as if my body remembered pain even when I tried to forget it. My hands trembled at my sides. Not from fear….no, fear had already passed through me and hollowed me out days ago….but from something coiled too tightly beneath my ribs.
Magic did not feel like warmth.
It felt like pressure.
I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly, just as he’d shown me. In through the nose. Hold. Out through the mouth. Again. The rhythm should have calmed me. It used to calm me….back when I was alive, when breathing didn’t feel like work.
But tonight, every breath pulled memories with it.
The warehouse came first.
The echo of footsteps on concrete. The smell of oil and rust. The way my heart had slammed against my chest when I realized the rogues were there to kill me. I could still hear my own voice…hoarse, cracking ... .as I screamed Rhett’s name before I lost sight, before my memory got blurred, I remembered calling out Rhett’s name, believing he would come because he always had.
My jaw clenched.
I lifted my hands slowly, palms facing outward, just like Neel had instructed. The air between them felt thicker, like invisible resistance pushing back.
“Good”, the wolf whispered inside me, her voice low and satisfied. “Feel it.”
“No,” I murmured under my breath. “Not like this.”
Another breath. Another memory.
Rhett’s house.
The way the air had smelled wrong the moment I stepped inside. Lust. Slick….Not mine. Alexandra’s presence clung to the walls, to the couch, to him. The disbelief on his face when he saw me….followed by fear so sharp it had cut deeper than any blade.
How much do you remember? he’d asked.
Enough.
I swallowed hard, my chest tightening. The ground beneath my feet vibrated faintly, like a distant tremor. I opened my eyes.
Thin black threads of energy flickered around my fingers, barely visible against the night.
“Easy,” Neel’s voice echoed faintly from memory. “You stop when it hurts.”
It already hurts.
The magic surged suddenly, not violently…but insistently, like a tide refusing to be held back. My vision blurred. The world tilted.
Pain bloomed through my veins, hot and sharp, racing from my palms up my arms and straight into my chest. I gasped, dropping to one knee as the sensation intensified.
Tears burned behind my eyes.
When they spilled, they were black again.
They slid down my cheeks in slow, viscous trails, splashing against the dirt below like ink soaking into paper. I stared at them, frustrated, disgust and fascination twisting together inside me.
“I don’t want this,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “I didn’t ask for this.”
“You asked to live”, the wolf replied softly. “And life always demands payment.”
The pain deepened.
My heartbeat slowed further, each thud heavy and distant, like it was echoing from another body entirely. Breathing became harder, my lungs refusing to cooperate, as if the air itself had turned hostile.
I pressed a hand to my chest, fingers digging into my skin.
“Mama,” I breathed without meaning to. “Why didn’t you hold me?”
Her face rose unbidden in my mind….warm, smiling, hands always busy braiding my hair, tucking blankets around me when the nights turned cold. The night she turned me away replayed in cruel clarity. The fear in her eyes. The way her voice had shaken when she said my name like it hurt her to speak it.
“You are not my daughter anymore.” She had said with horror.
A sob tore out of me, raw and ugly.
“Where am I supposed to go now?” I cried aloud, my voice echoing through the trees. “Who’s going to tell me it’ll be okay? Who’s going to hold me when it hurts?”
The wolf stirred, restless.
“They chose”, she hissed. “Now you choose.”
“No,” I whispered fiercely, shaking my head as if I could physically dislodge her voice. “I don’t want to hate them. I don’t want to become this.”
Another surge ripped through me.
The air around my hands crackled violently this time….sharp sparks snapping outward, slicing through the darkness with a blinding flash. I screamed, clutching my arms as pain tore through my body, every nerve screaming at once.
Inside the clinic, something shattered.
Glass.
The sound was sharp, unmistakable.
The magic recoiled instantly, collapsing back into me as I fell forward onto my hands, gasping, shaking violently. My vision swam. My ears rang.
For a heartbeat, there was nothing but silence.
Then hurried footsteps.
“Tasha!”
Neel burst through the clinic door, coat half-buttoned, eyes wide with alarm as he took in the scene….the scorched ground, the faint smoke curling upward, the black tears staining my cheeks.
“What happened?” he asked urgently, crouching in front of me without hesitation. “Did you push too hard?”
“I didn’t mean to,” I whispered, my voice barely there. “It just… came out.”
His gaze flicked briefly to the cracked exterior wall behind me, then back to my face. There was no fear in his eyes. Only concern. Focus. Determination.
“That’s okay,” he said gently. “That’s exactly why we’re doing this out here.”
I laughed weakly, the sound broken. “I almost broke your clinic.”
“We can fix walls,” he replied softly. “I can’t fix you if you break yourself.”
That made my throat tighten.
He helped me sit up, his touch careful, respectful. When his fingers brushed my wrist, something inside me reacted instantly….sharp, possessive, electric.
“Mine”, the wolf purred.
I pulled my hand back, startled by the intensity of the feeling.
Neel noticed.
“You’re not ready to be alone at night yet,” he said after a moment, his voice thoughtful. “The magic responds too strongly to emotional triggers.”
“And when am I supposed to stop having emotions?” I asked bitterly.
He didn’t answer right away.
Instead, he stood and offered me his hand again, palm open, patient. “Come inside. You’re exhausted.”
I hesitated, then took it.
As he helped me up, his gaze met mine fully. “Tasha,” he said quietly, “you can stay with me for a while. At my house. Just until you figure out your next steps.”
I stiffened. “I don’t want to be a burden.”
“You’re not,” he said immediately. “And it’s safer. For you….and for everyone else.”
I searched his face for pity. For fear. For regret.
There was none.
Only resolve.
Before I could respond, a sudden sound cut through the night.
A low murmur.
Voices.
Neel’s head snapped toward the tree line.
“Did you hear that?” he asked.
My wolf stirred again, alert now, dangerous.
“Yes,” I whispered.
Somewhere beyond the forest, someone might have seen the light.
And by the sounds of it, they were not alone.