Chapter 6: Bittersweet regret

Azazel:

I want to call her back and apologize so we can finish what we started. My eyes follow her lithe figure as she walks away. My demon rages inside me, angry that I let her go. I've never had my demon struggle so fiercely over a woman. The urge to follow her is almost too overpowering, but I manage to hold off. My fists tighten painfully while I try to keep it under control, and my body loses its tension when the smell of blood permeates the air. The palms of my hands sting from the pressure of my nails biting painfully through them. I open my fists to see that my claws have shredded my palms. I don't care, though. I’m the demon son of Barabbas. Pain has always been my companion. I will survive this. Just like I've survived everything else.

Doubt assails me as I gaze towards the road Zoe vanished through. Something deep inside me recognizes that I’ve made a grievous error. Even my body tells me that I’ve made a mistake. I lick my lips, still tasting the sweetness of her breasts. Her body felt perfect against mine. The kiss was decadent and sweet. She tasted like strawberries. Her body was firm and soft in all the right places. I’m hard from just thinking about how supple she was in my arms. I haven’t felt this desperate for a woman in—never.

Unfortunately, I can’t get close to anyone, not now that I have such an important task to take care of. There’s too much at stake for me to get distracted. If Marael manages to finish the ritual, our world will cease to exist.

My mobile rings, once again, rousing me from my thoughts. I pull it out of my pocket and look at the screen. It’s Mathias. Raising it to my ear, I turn around and walk to my vehicle. It’s time to get back to work.

“Mathias,” I say as I slide into the driver’s seat. One of the reasons I respect Mathias so much is his right to the point attitude. “Azazel. Any information you wish to impart upon me as of yet?” I turn the ignition and maneuver the car towards the road. “As a matter of fact, I do. Sahara has taken me as her new gladiator champion. She was quite taken with me. I’ve placed a few cameras in her office and around her club. Fallon has been helping me sift through the videos. So far, we’ve established that Sahara is a ruthless bitch. Her prizefighter did not hurt his back in an “accident” either. Apparently, he was planning to leave the company, and she was disagreeable with his dissension. She planned the accident. As for Marael, there has been no talk. However, she did have a cryptic conversation with someone in regards to an important visit. She kept mentioning the fact that time was running out.”

He replies. “Did she say anything else?” I think back for a moment. “No. The conversation was rather abrupt. To be honest, she was rather annoyed to be talking to whoever was on the other end. Perhaps there’s some disharmony between our co-conspirators.” Mathias scoffs cynically. “Wouldn’t that be convenient? Let’s hope that you’re right in this and that both women destroy themselves before they destroy the world. Let me ask you something else?” He says evenly. I can sense some sort of rancor in his voice. I look through the windshield and gaze into the night. Traffic is thin at this time. The trees are somber and still, and the vacant streets look forsaken. I can almost sense Mathias’s agitation from the other end of the phone. “Ask, and I shall endeavor to answer.”

He takes a shallow breath and chuckles. However, he doesn’t sound amused. He sounds aggravated. I tend to do that to people. “What do you think of Fallon?” He asks with an even tone. My eyebrows quirk at his tone because I can tell that he wants me to be earnest in my response. “I think Fallon is a victim of the circumstance of his birth. I can relate to his plight, considering that I am the son of a demon lord, and as such, I have been hated by many. From what I have observed, Fallon has never shown weakness in character. He seems to dislike you and the Council a great deal. But who hasn’t? So far, he has been a great deal of help. Therefore, I have no quarrel with him. Does that answer your question?”

Mathias grunts in acceptance. “Very well. Just keep me updated. By the way, your new place is located next to one of Sahara’s buildings. The girl, Bree, also lives there. Perhaps you and Fallon can split time and do surveillance there too. I get the feeling that there might be some clues we're overlooking.” I frown in consternation. “I’ll talk to him. In the meanwhile, have one of your enforcers send me all of the information they can about Bree Rayland.” Mathias agrees before he hangs up the phone.

The house is quiet when I get in. Fallon’s probably prowling the streets. The tosser truly does not sleep. I walk towards the glass patio door and step out into the pool area. The water of the pool lies still and glimmers under the light of the moon. The clear aqua color reminds me of her eyes. I close my eyes and inhale softly. It smells like wildflowers and bleach. Not an unpleasant scent. But not quite as sweet and alluring as the scent of strawberries. My chest tightens as the memory of her sweet response bursts through my mind. My mouth waters at the thought of spreading her long golden legs and burying myself deep inside her warmth.

I feel like a man who has been long without satiation. I want to erase the unkind words that I said and spend the next few hours making love to her. I had never reacted to a woman in that way before. Not even Nevaeh. My life has mostly been about war and solitude.

Feeling resolved, I head to my temporary bed and prepare for the night. I remove my clothing and slump back on the bed to stare up at the ceiling. Unfortunately, sleep eludes me. It gets to a point where I have to get up from the bed and wander around the room. I ignore the fact that most of my thoughts have to do with her. But I’m haunted by the resolute expression she had given me before she walked away. Not wanting to dwell on it any longer, I take a few deep breaths and close my eyes, trying to shake off my restless thoughts.

My wings begin to ache, and my teeth retract. I haven’t flown in a while. My wings always hurt when I go long intervals of time without flying. Slipping on a pair of jeans, I open up the balcony and look around. It’s completely dark and quiet. No one is around. That’s the good part of living in this part of California. Most of the homes are secured by shrubbery because the owners insist on privacy. From my observation, the houses in the neighborhood are covered by large gates and trees to keep people from looking in, which makes it easier for me to fly up into the air without being seen.

The gentle breeze stirs my wings as I glide high above the sky. The moon is full, and the stars are out, creating a tapestry of lights over the darkness. I close my eyes and inhale the soft scents of the California air. My leather wings beat a soft thump as I glide further into the mountains and contemplate my life and the pain that I’ve endured.

My darkest moment came when I realized that I was never going to find my mate. Nearly two centuries had passed with nary a clue. I became a blackguard after that. I used women to appease the growing emptiness inside me. Having Samael made my long existence easier. But when he left, I fell back into the miasma of my empty life. I tried to fill the solitude with new friends and women, but deep down, I couldn’t let go of the idea that somehow I didn’t find a mate because I wasn’t worthy of one. Then I met Mikhail, and my world wasn’t as bleak. Nevaeh filled the emptiness a little more and everyone else who has come to my life. However, I can still feel that vacant spot in my heart that will never be filled by a mate.

I recall that Nevaeh caught me in a weak moment a few months back. We were at the club, imbibing deeply. I got exceedingly buggered by the end of the night, which to a demon is quite a lot of imbibing. She and Mikhail had to take me home. I know that if I had been in my right mind, I’d have never told her about my fate.

“Here we go,” Mikhail said sternly as he settled me on my bed. I remember falling back on the bed clumsily and giving him a sloppy smile. “I am grateful for your assistance, mate.” I slurred out. Mikhail rolled his eyes and muttered. “Let me get you some water to keep you hydrated. Even demons get hangovers.” I remember snorting. “I don’t need no bloody water. I’m a pure demon. It’s you filthy mudbloods that need water when you get knackered.” Nevaeh giggles at my reference to the children’s book about a boy wizard. Mudblood was the word the wizards used to describe half-human and half-witches. She made me watch the movie last year, and I’ve used it to tease Mikhail since. It’s all in good fun, and the movie wasn’t half bad.

Mikhail ignored me and stepped out of the room with a final warning. “Don’t let him get up, princess. I don’t think he can stay on his feet.” Heeding his warning, Nevaeh gave him a light kiss and took a seat next to me with a salute to Mikhail. “Aye, Aye, captain.” I couldn’t help but feel an ache in my chest at the sight of their easy banter. So I opened my buggering mouth and began to spill my guts. “Mikhail is a very lucky bloke to have found you, luv. I don’t think I will ever be so lucky.” Neveah’s brow furrowed in pity. “Don’t say that, Azazel. You’ll find your mate too.”

Shaking my head, I looked up towards the ceiling in contemplation. “I doubt I will. I think someone like me was not meant to be happy. Perchance the fates found me lacking, and that’s why I haven’t found her.” My voice drifts off as my throat clogs with emotion. Nevaeh takes my hand in hers and turns my jaw in her direction. “That’s not true, Azazel. You are one of the most deserving men/demons that I know.” She looks up in thought, her brown eyes glimmering with hope. “I think that she’s out there right now waiting for you.” She says with a smirk. “And one of these days, you’ll come face to face with her and totally bumble it up before you realize that you can’t live without her.” I chuckle at her humorous prediction. “Do you really think so?” Nevaeh nods enthusiastically, “Oh yeah, and she’s going to drive you crazy before she realizes that you’re her destiny.”

Mikhail’s loud chuckle resounds across the room. “Looks like my princess has been using her imaginative skills to write your story Azazel. You better listen to her; she’s good with plotlines.” We all laugh heartily after that. But in my heart, I hoped that Nevaeh’s words would somehow reach the fates.

Several hours pass before I’d settled enough to sleep. That’s when I dream. I dream of a beautiful caramel-colored haired princess on a white horse. She’s wearing a sheer white gown that shows off her ample curves, and her hair is flailing wildly in the wind. The horse is cantering at a great speed, and she’s looking around as if searching for something. She finally makes it to the top of a cliff and smiles when she looks up into the sky. The sun is too bright for me to see her features. A fluttering above her catches my eye. There’s someone flying several feet above where the girl is. He’s tall with black leather wings. I can’t really see his face, but somehow I know that it’s me. He glides down to her and is about to land in front of her when the ground lets out a grave grumble and gives out from underneath her horse's feet. Her body flails as she falls to her death into the darkness of a deep abyss. The flying man reaches out to her with a wordless cry. But it’s too late; she’s swallowed up by the shadows of the cliff’s mouth.

I rise from my bed, startled to find myself screaming out in warning. My breathing is ragged, and sweat is glistening over my naked skin. The dream seemed so real. I blink my eyes as the light of day permeates my visions. My brain is hazy, and my eyes are heavy. Lack of sleep is finally catching up to me, and having that nightmare sure as hell doesn’t help. I wish I knew what the dream meant. It seemed so real.

The urge to call Nevaeh and ask her is almost too overwhelming. But I resist. I don’t want her to get some mad idea about it being prophetic. The odds are that it was just a dream, and the realness of it is not blooming likely. It’s more than likely my imaginative musings before I fell asleep. But bugger it all if the dream does not haunt me for days.