Chapter 46: Natalia

I stare at Mikhail when I walk down the stairs.

All I see is a broken man leaning against the wall with his dog by his side.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to leave him like this.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to leave him at all, and the death of his father has made everything worse.

I know what it’s like to lose your parents, and now he’s lost them both, too.

Like me, he witnessed their deaths.

Mikhail pushes away from the wall when he notices me and straightens, trying to look strong.

He’s worn that mask of strength since he came home last night and has continued to wear it all day.

I don’t even think he’s registered he’s the new Pakhan. He got what he wanted but lost so much in the same breath.

Now, we’re about to lose each other.

It’s just the two of us here, and Snow.

The house staff—Aleksander mainly—and Sophia said goodbye to me earlier today.

Mikhail takes my little bag from me when I reach him and catches my hand so we can walk out to the car together holding hands. Snow trots in front of us.

Escorting me to the airport are Levka and three of his other guards from the security team.

Mikhail hasn’t gone into too much detail about what happed last night, but I noticed that more guards were here today looking like they were planning for something big. I think the fact that he’s sending me to the airport with three of his top security guards says a lot about what he hasn’t told me.

It must have to do with Ivan.

I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, which worsens with every second that passes.

Maybe, though, that feeling stems from not knowing if I’m ever going to see him again. And I don’t know what’s going to happen to him here.

We stop by the Bugatti, and he places my bag with the rest of luggage in the trunk. He closes it, and the sound echoes in my heart. It’s the sound of goodbye. Final and absolute.

Mikhail walks around to me and cups my face. When he presses his forehead to mine, I feel the weight of the burden he carries.

“I don’t want to leave you like this,” I tell him.

“You have to, Malyshka.”

Malyshka. Will I ever hear him call me that again?

“Everything will be okay when you get to my friend,” he adds.

“But you won’t be,” I point out. He releases me. “I’m so sorry about your father.”

For a fraction of a second, he shows me a glimpse of the pain in his eyes.

“Even though I knew he was going to die, it feels like the world ended.”

“I know.” I know all too well; except I didn’t know when my parents would be taken from me. I never had time to prepare. Neither makes it easier. Death never is.

He touches my cheek and attempts a smile. “You will be okay, though, and I promise you, life won’t be as hard as it was before. You’ll have everything you need.”

Except him.

“Will I ever see you again?”

His face tenses, and he looks away briefly then back to me.

“I don’t think so, Natalia. It’s better if we don’t. I’ll get the paperwork sorted out when I can.” He pauses for a moment, and I think about what paperwork he must be talking about.

Divorce papers.

That’s what he means. God…Divorce papers.

I don’t know how long he needs to stay married to me regarding the cartel, but he looks like he does. Like he checked everything out. I’m sure he would have.

“That way, it will be easier to forget me and what I did to you,” he says with a clipped nod.

I grit my teeth and will the tears away.

“Will you forget me so easily?” He makes it sound like it will be, and when I think of the women who will be all over him, I feel sick. Bile rises into my throat.

“No, baby. I can’t forget you. Not ever,” he promises and lowers his head to kiss me one last time. He pulls away before the call of passion takes us and covers my hand with his.

I look at his prison tattoos and remember how I thought of him as a monster. He’s not that, though. All he’s done is slay my demons and protect me.

“Go now.”

He releases me and nods for me to get in the car.

I bend down and hug Snow, who barks for me, then I get in the car. I can’t say goodbye to her. At times she was my only friend.

As I shuffle in the backseat, it feels like I’m not really here in this moment. As if I’ve programmed my body to be on autopilot.

Mikhail closes the door, and Levka starts up the car.

As we drive away, I turn to watch him through the window until I can’t see him anymore. It’s when we leave through the huge iron gates that everything feels like the end and my heart sinks further into the chasm of nothingness.

I feel so empty inside. So empty I can barely breathe and this feeling in my gut is suffocating.

The guards say nothing to me as the car picks up speed and we continue down the road.

I stare through the window, watching the scenery in the waning sun as an attempt to distract myself.

As the darkness takes over and we turn onto one of the country roads, I notice Levka looking in the rearview mirror at a car behind us that gets too close.

He speeds up. So does the car behind us.

The roar of a motorcycle engine sounds, and I turn around to see two motorcyclists on either side of the car.

“Jesus Christ, I think they’re following us,” says the guard in the passenger seat.

“They have been for a good five minutes, but I wasn’t sure until we turned,” Levka replies.

Oh my God. What is this now?

Who’s following us?

Please, God, don’t let anything happen.

We speed up more, and the car and bikes do the same. It’s just us on the road. No other vehicles to the left or right of us. Nothing coming, nothing going.

“Mrs. Dmitriyev, get down!” Levka shouts.

As soon as he speaks, gun shots are fired. One hits the back tire. I bend down, but because the car is jerking so much, I’m flung across the seat. The other guard does his best to hold me, but another bullet comes our way. Something more powerful that gets through what should be bulletproof glass and lodges in his head.

I scream as blood splatters everywhere.

More shots sound, and even though the guard in the passenger seat is returning fire, it’s not enough.

The motorcyclists are shooting with machine guns now, and they hit him, then Levka.

I scream again as the car runs off the side of the road with me and crashes into a thicket of trees.

I hit my head, but I shake off the pain and try to get out.

It’s too late, though. I can’t do anything.

The first biker pulls up beside the car and pulls a gun on me at the same time he yanks open the door.

He’s masked. All I can see are his eyes.

Fuck. What am I going to do?

What the hell am I going to do?

“Hello, princess. You’re coming with me,” he says, reaching for my arm.

“Get away from me!” I kick him, but I’m helpless against a man like him.

He grabs my arm, then stabs me in the side of my neck with a needle.

Before I can even think about what he did to me, I black out.