Turns out, yes, I AM drunk enough. Maybe it’s because I feel guilty that Lukas has been sleeping on my lumpy couch for days, or maybe it’s because he’s been so ridiculously clingy today that the idea of worrying about him lying next to me while we sleep just seems… Silly.
“If you don’t wanna sleep on the couch, you can sleep with me in my room.” I tell him, my words slightly sluggish from wine and exhaustion. There’s a moment of silence, and then my foggy brain catches up with my mouth.
“Like, ‘sleep’ sleep.” I blurt out quickly, frowning at my own phrasing.
“Not… You know… ‘Sleep.’” I make vague air quotes, as if that somehow clarifies my meaning. Why is this so difficult?
“I mean… My bed is just more comfortable than the couch. That’s all.” I pause, suddenly overanalyzing every word I just said. Did that make sense? I don’t think that made sense. I feel like that definitely didn’t make sense. But Lukas can read my mind, so at least he knows I’m not propositioning him or anything… I think… If I expected Lukas to hesitate or politely decline out of some sense of propriety, I was very mistaken. He doesn’t even PRETEND to think about it. The second the words are out of my mouth, he practically jumps to his feet, nodding so quickly I’m worried he’s going to get whiplash.
“Yes please. Let’s go.” He says immediately. I blink.
“Well. That was fast.” I say stupidly. I blame the alcohol. Words are just tumbling out of my mouth without thought at all. Lukas just grins. Then he reaches down to grab my hand and tugs me up from the couch. I wobble slightly, and he steadies me with an arm around my waist, because apparently that’s just how he is now? No hesitation at all about invading my personal space.
“You said it yourself, your bed is more comfortable.” He points out, leading me toward my bedroom like this was HIS idea in the first place.
“Why would I argue with that?” He challenges. He’s not wrong, but still. He didn’t even ask to be sure I meant it. Although I guess he can just confirm that in my head. I guess he heard the whole mental process that led to this offer. I guess he isn’t all that worried about being polite.
“I dunno, maybe a TINY bit of hesitation?” I mumble as I follow him.
“Like, for appearances or something?” I grumble. I don’t even know exactly what I’m complaining about at this point. It just feels like I need to do something to not appear like I’m too willing or eager to lie next to him. Lukas smirks, looking way too pleased with himself.
“Nah, I like making you flustered.” He says casually. I groan, immediately regretting everything.
“Remind me to never be nice to you again.” I mutter.
“Too late.” Lukas says smugly.
“You invited me to sleep with you. Can’t take it back now.” He says almost gleefully. I shoot him a glare over my shoulder as we step into my room.
“Okay, first of all.” I say, turning to face him.
“I invited you to sleep with me, not SLEEP with me.” I say firmly. He raises an eyebrow.
“…That was the same sentence twice.” He points out. I throw my hands in the air.
“Exactly! But you know what I mean!” I say, exasperated. Lukas grins, clearly enjoying himself.
“Don’t worry, Clare. I do know what you mean.” He assures me, even as his smirk betrays him. I’m realising he emotes a lot more when he’s been drinking. I normally have to work harder to figure out his emotions. Still, I roll my eyes, too tired (and too tipsy) to keep arguing.
“Fine. Whatever. Just… Just get in bed and go to sleep before I change my mind.” I grumble, rubbing at my temples. No way I’m doing my hair tonight. Maybe I’ll do a fancy braid or something tomorrow.
“As you wish.” Lukas says smoothly, and before I can throw something at him, he flops dramatically onto my bed. I shake my head, still not sure HOW I got myself into this situation, but I climb in beside him anyway. It’s fine. This is just practical. Logical. A perfectly reasonable decision. About three seconds after I’ve settled in, Roxy leaps up to lie on the end of the bed and, not willing to be left out, Princess curls up on the pillow behind my head. Well… Isn’t this cosy.
I shift slightly in the darkness, trying to settle, but every little thing suddenly feels wrong. My pyjama shirt is twisted under me in a way that’s annoying, my hair is tickling my cheek, I’m somehow too warm and too cold at the same time and I’m weirdly aware of my own breathing. My brain, despite the wine and exhaustion, refuses to just shut up and let me sleep. Lukas clears his throat softly behind me.
“Hey Clare.” He murmurs, his voice low and drowsy.
“Remember how you said you wanted some warning before I do anything to you that you might not be expecting?” He suddenly asks. I frown into my pillow, vaguely remembering something like that.
“Uh, vaguely?” I mumble. That might have been an actual conversation, or it might have just been something I thought really loudly at him. Either way, with Lukas, it probably doesn’t matter.
“Well, unless you tell me not to, in about ten seconds, I’m going to hug you again.” He warns. I blink. He just… Announced it? I hesitate, not sure what to do with that information.
“You’re weirdly affectionate.” I mutter, half teasing, half just stating a fact. Lukas chuckles softly behind me, and then, true to his word, his arm snakes under my waist while his other arm drapes over me. His warmth surrounds me as he pulls me back against his chest, adjusting until he’s comfortable. One of his hands settles lightly on my hip, fingers grazing my skin through the fabric of my pyjama top. I should probably be overthinking this. But I don’t. It’s not uncomfortable. It’s not bad. It’s just there, a soft and steady presence, like it’s something he’s done a hundred times before instead of something that still feels new and uncertain. His thumb brushes absently against my hip, his touch light and unhurried. I can’t decide if it feels pleasant or awkward. Maybe both. Then, just as my brain starts trying to categorize why this isn’t bothering me more, Lukas’s voice dips lower, quieter, like he’s barely awake.
“You know, if you weren’t drunk, I would probably kiss you right now.” He mutters sleepily, his breath warm against the back of my neck. My breath catches. Before I can even process what he just said, before I can decide if I’m shocked, or amused, or horrified, Lukas goes completely still. Asleep. Just like that… Damn him. Roxy moves so that she is lying against my stomach. Now I’m totally surrounded and I don’t know what to do about it. I could kick up a fuss and demand that Lukas leave my bed, but he’s asleep and waking him up to talk about this more just seems way more embarrassing. I’ll figure it out in the morning. Decision made, I finally start to settle, then I finally fall asleep.