Lethia POV.
"Fix that! Besides, the dishes must be delicious! It's our family dinner and not just a normal dinner!" I repeated to scold them because the other dishes they cook are bland and my mom would be disappointed in me.
Since I was a child, that was exactly what she'd always told me—that I was useless. Because I never won against Cbiara, who was just a piece of cake because she was not rich, yet I still couldn't beat him.
I felt like I was a loser whenever we ended up fighting. I almost always cry because I can't even look at my parents knowing I didn't win. It broke my heart; it's hard to accept that no matter how many times I cheat or trap her, nothing is happening. It's like she's a movie star who always survives whatever hate and pain she goes through. While I was the villain who always looked down on her and won but never won in the end.
"I told you to cook it smoothly!" I yelled at a female chef. It was not soft; the meat needed to be soft. My companions were no longer children, so they should just adjust.
I had to be strong after grieving the loss of my baby because I knew that this would come next. Regretfully, Roux never looked at me again and never touched alcohol again. He no longer even mentions Cbiara Blair by name. I didn't worry since Blair might be there somewhere, even though a part of me was delighted.
Everything arrived first, including the cake, which I cooked myself, and then the food, after everything was finished and ready for Mr. Smith's birthday. I took the time to attend my father-in-law's birthday, and I witnessed the happiness on their faces as a result.
He didn't like fancy parties; he just wanted family time, so his wife didn't force him anymore. Besides, that was even more beautiful because that was the time when we got together. That was the most important thing for Mr. Smith; his family was all he wanted.
"Thank you, Lethia," they said, and I heard other compliments, but my husband didn't say a single word. "Didn't you like it, Roux?" His dad asked him. He looked at me and then at his father.
"It's good, Dad," he replied lazily, giving me a thumbs up. Seeing that reaction from him made me feel like I wasn't enough, even though I did my best. Anyway, when did I even have enough since we got married?
"Where's Raven?" Mrs. Smith asked out of nowhere. I turned to them because the man was not here. "He still hasn't moved on? It's been a long time." She made fun of it, so everyone laughed except Roux.
That was not the real reason; Raven was busy with his life; he didn't want to ask for help from his parents anymore. I knew about it because that's what he told me when we were engaged. Raven and I were close, and there was no malice in that because I knew from the beginning it was purely business.
We just talked; I kept up, even though sometimes I didn't have anything to say. Roux excused himself. I wanted to follow him, but he would be mad if I did because I didn't have the manners to leave my family and always follow him.
His words made me tougher; I endured everything, no matter how painful they were. Even if it makes my life tangled, I have to endure because Roux is my only hope. Even if he kills me, I don't care; my world revolves around him.
After the dinner was done, I put away the clutter, and then I ran upstairs since my family was going to their own home. They don't want to stay in our house because they might experience homesickness. But before I could go upstairs, Mommy asked me something.
"You make sure your husband isn't cheating!" That's what she always reminded me of since I lost my child. I don't know; I'm only afraid of one woman, and as long as she's not here, I have nothing to fear. I am genuinely sure that my husband would never find a woman better than me.
"Roux," I called him in the room. I am with my other maid, who brought food; he didn't eat much earlier. When I opened the door, he wasn't there, and I just saw that he had tied a curtain so that he could escape. When I looked down at the window, that's when I saw that he was gone.
Damn! I should have trusted my instincts earlier.
"Put that back," I ordered. "And no one should know," I added, and then he completely left.
What should I do with you, Roux?
***
Not really. In many cases, fate will favor me. This kind of situation is rare; it's always Roux.
"Why are you always there for me?" I asked Raven one time in the park. He wasn't busy, so I teased him that we went to the park because I just wanted to vent my anger. I was crying a while ago; I even shouted at the top of my lungs, which were already choking.
"You forced me!" I laughed. Right, I didn't stop him until he didn't say yes to me. Fortunately, he gave me a favor, so it was easier for us.
"Yeah, I tend to insist, don't I?" He didn't move, and I laughed to myself. "I was a people-pleaser; no matter what I did to avoid it, I couldn't do it. Maybe that's why you didn't love me."
"I'm sorry, I really just wanted something else at the time," he replied. Raven never once made me feel that I wasn't a loser. He always reprimanded me for being unique, and he always used a proper word that would not hurt me.
Maybe he was just born gentle, so I took advantage of that. The help he gave me gave me malice for a long time, I don't know, but later on I started to imagine things that I shouldn't. I couldn't stop myself because, little by little, I felt like I was losing myself. I tried to wipe it out, but it always came back, especially when I was alone. I feel like I'm sick!
Whenever Roux ignored me, I looked for the man's presence in him, and it became immune to me whenever Roux uttered her name. I just need Raven, and it's freaking insane!
I tried to get rid of it because it is bad, even if we say that he was the first. I betrayed him for loving Roux, so he is innocent of everything, and he doesn't love me. I pleaded with myself not to get involved with those people who couldn't love me. Not this time, not again.
I wasn't nitpicking him; I was hoping he would call me and tell me why I'd changed, but he didn't. Until I found out that he and Cbiara met at the airport, he said he picked up the girl. My world was crumbling; why did he have to be with that woman?
Don't tell me.
"N-no! No!" I screamed. I couldn't; I wouldn't allow it. Why did she come back? We have a deal! My knees quivered looking at the photos of the two of them together, and my eyes started burning because of what I saw. This is not good; this is not what I am thinking.
My world collapsed even more when Roux knew about her arrival, and guess what? He went to her, and I almost died from the pain I was feeling. Why was that girl coming back necessary?
"Ahhh!" I screamed and threw stones at our things until I got tired and fell on the floor. This is so unfair! "W-why?" My hands went to my mouth, not to surpass my cry, but it was over because I knew I had nothing against the woman no matter what I did.
I started going crazy at that time; I believed all the words I heard. I rushed to them because Roux hadn't come home for several days. I even searched for him everywhere, but I found none. Without knowing it, he was staying in his brother's building.
Is that how he hates me?
"Why?" I asked him one night when I couldn't stand it anymore and went to him there. "Is it because she's already here that's why you're not coming home?" I looked at his small space in the room. I felt sorry for him, and at the same time, I felt more pitiful about myself.
"Leave,"
"Do you hate me so much that you can sleep here?" My face felt sticky, and he looked away.
"I said leave now." He ordered me sternly, but I stayed.
"Do you still love her?!" That was my last card, so I closed my eyes while waiting for his answer. "Tell me no," I begged him.
"Yes! I have loved her since then!" My shoulders slumped at his answer. Damn it! Why did I have to be this miserable?