Chapter 57: Forgive Me, Maddie

Chapter 57: Forgive Me, Maddie

Andy

I didn’t let her pull away.

The kiss against the wall was desperate, messy, nothing like the careful, romantic kisses we used to share.

My mouth claimed hers with a hunger I hadn’t felt in months— maybe years.

Her hands were still pinned above her head, wrists caught in my grip, but she wasn’t fighting as hard anymore. Her body arched into mine, soft curves pressing against the hard line of my chest, and for one blinding second I let myself sink into it.

Maddie. My Maddie. The girl I had loved since I first laid eyes on her. The one I proposed to. The one who had sat by my hospital bed for days.

But even as I kissed her deeper, even as my hips rolled against hers and she whimpered into my mouth, Ivy’s face flashed behind my closed eyes again.

The way her lips had felt against mine upstairs. The shock in her eyes. The way she hadn’t fully pushed me away.

I shoved the thought down so hard it hurt.

I released her wrists only to slide my hands down her body, gripping the backs of her thighs and lifting her.

She gasped against my lips, legs instinctively wrapping around my waist. Her dress rode up, and I felt the heat of her through my clothes.

I carried her the few steps to the bed like she weighed nothing, never breaking the kiss. My hands were shaking. My heart was pounding so loud I could barely hear anything else.

I laid her down on the bed — our bed, the one we had shared so many times before — and followed her down, covering her body with mine.

The bed dipped under our weight. Her hair spilled across the pillows, and her eyes were glassy with tears, lips swollen and red from my mouth.

“Andy…” she breathed, voice cracking. One hand came up to touch my face, fingers trembling against the sting on my cheek where she had slapped me. “What are we doing?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered back. The honesty slipped out before I could stop it. “I don’t know, Maddie. But I need you. Right now. Please.”

She stared at me for a long moment, searching my face. Then she pulled me down and kissed me again, fierce and angry and full of hurt.

Her legs tightened around my hips. Her hands fisted in my shirt and yanked, buttons popping open. I helped her, shrugging the shirt off, then reached for her dress.

The zipper stuck for a second before I got it down. She lifted her hips to help me pull it off, and soon she was in nothing but her lace underwear, skin flushed and warm under my hands.

I kissed down her neck, sucking hard enough to leave marks. She gasped, fingers digging into my shoulders. “Andy—slow down—”

But I couldn’t slow down. If I slowed down, the thoughts would come back. Ivy’s name. Ivy’s face. The way she had left with Leo.

I unhooked her bra with clumsy fingers and tossed it aside, then took one of her breasts into my mouth, sucking hard. Maddie cried out, back arching off the bed. Her hands pushed at my chest for a second — not hard, just uncertain — then slid into my hair and pulled me closer.

I bit down gently, then soothed the spot with my tongue. She tasted like she always did, familiar and sweet, but everything felt different tonight. Sharper. More desperate.

I shoved my pants and boxers down to free myself. I was hard — painfully so — but it wasn’t only for her. That truth made my stomach twist with guilt.

I pushed her panties aside and ran two fingers through her folds. She was wet. Not as wet as she usually got when we took our time, but wet enough. I circled her clit with my thumb and she moaned, hips jerking.

“Please,” she whispered, tears still leaking from the corners of her eyes. “Just… don’t stop. Don’t push me away again.”

I lined myself up and pushed inside her in one long, hard thrust.

Maddie’s mouth fell open on a loud cry. Her nails raked down my back, leaving stinging lines. She was tight, almost too tight, and the stretch made her wince even as her legs wrapped around me again.

“Mmm…yes.” She moaned. “Fuck me, baby. Show me that I'm still yours—”

I slapped a hand over her mouth, shutting her up before anyone downstairs could hear.

I didn’t give her time to adjust. I couldn't. I started moving immediately — deep, rough strokes that shook the bed. The headboard knocked against the wall with every thrust.

This wasn’t how we usually made love. We were slow and sweet. Tender. Careful. Romantic. Candlelight and soft music and whispered “I love yous.”

This was something else. Harder. Messier. Like I was trying to fuck the doubt and guilt and Ivy out of both of us. I removed my hand from her mouth.

“Stop.” She hit me. “Andy, stop. Get off.”

“No.”

Her palm cracked against my shoulder, then my chest. Not playful. Real. Angry. “Andy, stop it.”

“I want you.” Half-lie. Half-truth.

“You bastard,” she sobbed, even as her hips rose to meet mine. “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to treat me like shit and then fuck me like an animal.”

I caught her wrists again and pinned them above her head with one hand, the same way I had against the wall. My other hand gripped her hip hard enough to bruise as I drove into her faster.

The sound of skin slapping skin filled the room, wet and obscene. Her breasts bounced with every thrust. Tears streamed down her temples into her hair.

“I’m sorry,” I gritted out, voice rough. “I’m so fucking sorry, Maddie.”

“I don't want your apology.” She hit her forehead against my shoulder. Twice. “I don't want this. Get off!”

“You want this.” I angled deeper and slammed deeper.

“Slow down…” She whimpered, wrapping her legs tighter around me. “Baby, slow down.”

But I didn’t slow down. I couldn’t. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Ivy. Every time I tried to focus on Maddie’s face — her flushed cheeks, her parted lips, the way she used to smile at me — Ivy’s image pushed in.

The way she had looked at me during that kiss. The softness of her mouth. Fuck.

“Andy, easy” Maddie moaned, head buried in my chest. “It hurts…”

I fucked Maddie harder, chasing the thoughts away with every thrust. The bed creaked loudly. Her cries grew louder — half pleasure, half pain, half anger.

She was close. I could feel it in the way her walls fluttered around me.

“I'm sorry for everything.” I kissed her forehead. “Forgive me, Maddie.”

She fought me again, twisting her wrists in my grip until she pulled one wrist free.

When I didn’t let go, she used her free hand to hit my chest again, then pulled me down by the back of my neck and kissed me like she wanted to devour me. “I want you so bad, Andy. I love you.”

Her teeth caught my lower lip hard enough to draw blood. I tasted copper and kept moving.

“Come for me,” I rasped against her mouth. “Please, baby. I need to feel you.”

She came with a broken sob, body locking up beneath me. Her walls squeezed me tight, pulsing, and her thighs shook. Fresh tears spilled over.

I didn’t stop. I kept thrusting through her orgasm, drawing it out until she was whimpering and oversensitive, pushing at my chest with weak hands.

“Too much—Andy, it’s too much—”

But I was close now, and I couldn’t stop. I released her wrists and braced both hands on either side of her head, fucking her with everything I had.

The hardest I had ever taken her. She felt every inch of it — the stretch, the force, the way I bottomed out on every stroke.

“Oh my God.” She whimpered. “Andy…”

Her eyes were wide, glassy, overwhelmed. She had never seen me like this. I had never been like this with her.

I tried so hard to stay in the moment. To focus on her body, her sounds, the way she still felt like home even when everything was falling apart.

But Ivy kept slipping in.

The memory of her lips. The guilt of what I had done upstairs. The fear that she was with Leo right now, letting him touch her the way I was touching Maddie.

I buried my face in Maddie’s neck and fucked her through it, chasing my own release like it could erase everything.

I tried to pull out when I felt it coming. Maddie wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck. Tightly.

I tried to pry her hands off. “Baby, stop. I don't… I don't have a condom on.” I couldn't stop moving. “I'm gonna cum.”

Even as my mind went back to that day at the hospital. We hadn't used protection either.

“It doesn’t matter now. Don't leave me, Andy.” She begged with tears in her eyes. “Stay with me. Stay inside me—”

“Maddie… don't—”

“Andy, I love you. You love me.” She kissed me. “Don't leave me.”

My hips jerked helplessly as I reached the edge. “I'm about to—” It was too late. I exploded inside her.

When I came, it was with a hoarse groan, hips stuttering as I spilled deep inside her. The pleasure was intense, almost painful, but it didn’t bring relief. Only more guilt.

I stayed inside her for a long moment, both of us breathing hard. Her arms had wrapped around me at some point, holding me close even as her body trembled. I could feel her tears against my shoulder.

Slowly, I pulled out and rolled to the side, pulling her with me so she was tucked against my chest. My heart was still racing. My cheek still stung from her slaps. My back burned from her nails.

Maddie was quiet for a long time. Her fingers traced idle patterns on my chest, but I could feel the tension in her body. The hurt. The confusion.

“You’ve never taken me like that before,” she whispered finally. Her voice was hoarse. “Not once. Not even when we first started.”

“I know. I got carried away.” I closed my eyes. “Did it hurt? Did I hurt you?”

She nodded. “But it's nothing.”

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for constantly hurting you.”

She was quiet again. Then: “Was it because of her? Were you thinking of her while you were inside me?”

The question hung in the air like smoke. I wanted to lie. I wanted to say no, that it was just the emotion of the fight, the makeup sex, the weeks of distance. But the words wouldn’t come.

“I don’t know what’s happening to me, Maddie,” I said instead, voice raw. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. But something’s… broken. And I don’t know how to fix it.”

She didn’t answer. She just pressed her face into my chest and cried — quiet, exhausted tears.

I held her tighter, stroking her hair, pressing kisses to the top of her head. The room smelled like sex and her perfume and my cologne. The party probably continued downstairs, oblivious.

Somewhere across town, Ivy was with Leo.

And I was here, holding the woman I was supposed to marry, while my thoughts kept drifting to her sister.

Maddie eventually fell into a restless sleep, her breathing evening out against my skin. I stayed awake, staring at the ceiling, the same ceiling I had stared at in the hospital while she sat beside me.

My cheek still hurt. My heart hurt worse.

I had saved Ivy from Maddie’s wrath tonight. But I had no idea how to save any of us from what I had started.