Chapter 22 Quantum the Cat
I follow her on every platform under anonymous handles: Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and even the old Tumblr she hasn't touched in years.
I remain invisible, but I watch her.
I'd admit that it hurt to say those words to Scarlett in my office. To watch her face crumple when I told her she'd misunderstood.
But it was the only way.
I can't commit. I've never done it.
I've never wanted to.
Relationships are liabilities. Distractions. Weaknesses. Points of failure.
I've seen what happens when men like me try to love: they break things. Wives. Children. Families. I watched my father do it to my mother before he died, and the dementia took her memories.
I won't do that to Scarlett.
She deserves someone who can stay. Who won't vanish into code and crises and boardrooms.
She deserves someone who won't wake up one day and realise he's turned her into another line item on his schedule.
So I lied, and I reduced it to sex.
I let her hate me. Because hating me is safer than loving me.
But I really miss her. With everything going on with my mum, I wish I could hear her voice, talk to her.
Laura's staying the night at the hospital with Mum. She woke up briefly before I left, recognised us for maybe twenty minutes.
It felt good to be called "Lulu"
by her again and have my cheek patted with a trembling hand.
It felt good to be asked by her if I'd eaten.
Then the fog rolled back in, and she looked through me like I was a stranger again.
I couldn't stay to witness the rest of the fade, so I kissed her forehead, told her I'd be back tomorrow, and walked out before the recognition died completely.
I can't watch it happen twice in one day.
Opening the live feed from the street camera outside Scarlett's building, I watch for any suspicious activity.
All clear.
Her window is lit. And I can imagine her curled up on the sofa, or in bed, watching something. Probably Stranger Things again.
I should probably try watching the damn thing, see if it's worth all her attention. But I have more important things to do.
Dragging the chair closer to my systems, I resume work.
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"Mr Moore… oh my God, it's so good to see you. I wasn't expecting…"
"It's fine, Gloria," I say, raising a hand to stop her mid-scramble from behind her desk. She's already halfway around it, smoothing her skirt.
I decided to drop into the London office unannounced. Walked right in to see what happens when the boss isn't breathing down necks.
The place is running smoothly—exactly the way I built it to run without me holding its hand every second.
Veronica Williams is the reason. She's tough as nails, brilliant and the 'no-nonsense' type.
I didn't make her Managing Director because she's beautiful or because she quietly invested early and clearly wants more than a professional relationship.
I chose her because she's damn good. She gets results. She doesn't crumble under pressure.
And right now, that's the only thing keeping this branch from imploding while I've been busy in the New York office.
"Catch me up on the week," I tell Gloria as I stride past her toward my office. "Anything out of the ordinary?"
She walks beside me, her tablet already open.
"No major problems, sir. Miss Williams has everything under control. Clients are happy. A couple of small delays, but she's handling them. Otherwise… It's been quiet."
I nod, shrugging out of my coat and hanging it on the back of the chair. "Good."
I walk straight to the window where London spreads out below in all its glory—grey skies and tall buildings.
Gloria is halfway through an update when the door opens without a knock.
Veronica walks in confidently, wearing a black pencil skirt, a fitted white blouse and expensive pumps.
Her dark hair is swept into a low chignon.
"Lawrence," she says brightly, her eyes already scanning me head to toe.
"Veronica." I acknowledge, before glancing at Gloria. "That'll be all for now."
She slips out quietly.
Veronica crosses the room, stopping close to me.
"What are you doing in London?" she asks softly, her hand lifting to brush down the length of my tie. "You look tired."
I step back, out of reach, and turn to drop into my chair.
"My mother's dying," I say flatly. "Stage IV pancreatic cancer. She doesn't have long."
Veronica's face drains of colour, her mouth pressing into a thin line.
"Oh my God, Lawrence… I'm so sorry."
I shrug dismissively. "I see the office is managing fine without me."
"Don't do that," she says quietly. "Don't brush this off like it's nothing."
She rounds the desk and perches on the edge of it.
"I don't want to talk about it," I tell her.
She sighs, reaching out to gently brush a lock of hair away from my forehead. Her fingers linger near my temple.
"How long will you be here?"
"I don't know yet."
I don't know if I can stay to watch her die.
I don't know if I can leave and pretend I'm not abandoning her.
"How's Laura holding up?"
I exhale through my nose. "You know her. She's not taking it well. But we'll manage. We managed after Dad. We'll manage after this."
"Lawrence…"
"How's the Japan branch faring?" I cut in.
Veronica studies me for a moment before sighing and sliding off the desk, switching to business mode.
"Exceptionally well. In fact, better than our Singapore, Italy and Russian branches. Good call convincing the Satōs to help."
It was Scarlett who'd eventually charmed them at the dinner, speaking flawless Kansai Ben.
Scarlett.
My heart does that weird thing again.
"What next?" I asked, clearing my throat like it'll automatically clear my head.
"The London Bankers are stalling again. The lead negotiator's going through a divorce. He's making it everyone's problem."
"Send him something expensive and move on."
"Will do."
"Anything else?"
Veronica pauses. "Maintenance found a cat in the sub-basement."
"A cat?"
"She's been living down there for weeks. The janitor's been feeding her. Now the whole office is obsessed." Veronica chuckles. "Tell you what, there's even an Instagram account for her. Fifteen thousand followers."
I stare at her, dumbfounded.
"I'm not making this up. They call her 'Quantum.'"
I shake my head. "Tell them to get her fixed and find her a home. Office pets are a liability."
"Too late. She has a better social media presence than our marketing team. Currently, she's the reason behind the increase in our views."
"Whatever."
"Whatever? We might have you do a TikTok video with her," She gives me a teasing smile.
"Not a chance in hell," I reply dryly.
Veronica stops smiling, her voice growing serious. "If you need anything… someone to talk to, or have dinner with after hours…I'm here. Okay?"
I meet her gaze, knowing what she's offering.
Veronica is beautiful and composed. She's the type of person who'll agree to a no-strings-attached relationship, which is what I need.
Relationships like that pose no risk of heartbreak.
And yet, I see Scarlett's face, furious, slamming my car door.
I see her cheeks burning up when I mentioned she could eat me next.
I look away.
"Thank you, Veronica. I'll let you know."
She nods, steps back, and leaves.
"Please, take care of yourself, Lawrence."
She says, pausing at the door. "You don't have to do this alone."
The door closes softly behind her.
I lean back in the chair, swerving it towards the window.
Alone is all I know how to be.
It's all I've ever known.