Chapter 9: Chapter Nine--When His Soul Soothes Mine

“Yes,” Kalvyn replied.

“And Quinn? He looks a lot like you and Syber.”

“He is just a very old family friend. Much of the time, I forget he isn’t of my blood. Syber, Quinn and I can’t remember a life that didn’t involve each other.”

“That’s great, to have friends like that.”

“You have Lola.”

“I do, that’s how I know.”

“How long have you two been friends?”

“Since we were four, and they moved in next door. We’ve been to hell and back together.”

Kalvyn cocked his head to the side. “And how old are you, twenty? What sort of hell have you been through?”

No judgment, just curiosity.

My eyes hardened to ice chips. “Twenty-four years young is more than enough time to know what life has to offer.”

“I understand. Life is never easy. Not everyone is lucky to be dealt the hand they want.” He kicked a rock that catapulted into the fire.

“You sound just a tad cynical.”

He rolled his head against my knee. “And you don’t?”

“Touché. All right then, you’ve piqued my curiosity. Why are you so cynical?”

“I’ve lived a fair chunk of my life with very little expected of me. In fact, I was raised to believe anything I wanted would come to me without question,” he said. “One day, not that long ago, everything was ripped away from me, replaced with an existence I couldn’t comprehend. Doused heavily with responsibility for not only myself, but others, who needed me to the strong and sure one.” He nodded at Lexi. “My sister was a child of ten when my parents left us alone in the mountains. Prior, we’d had a great relationship, but I’d never taken care of her. I had my mother and aunt, the other women who looked after the children.”

“Did your parents die?”

“No. They were too selfish to see their errors. Instead of working through problems, they discard them. After a brutal fight with my father, he wrote us off as insignificant to his existence. Took a long while, but eventually, I had to admit, we’re far better off without him.” His bit of anger hung off the last few syllables. Without thought, I ran my hand over the hair at the back of his neck. He vibrated, his cheek rubbing against my lower thigh.

“How did you adjust to becoming a parent so young yourself?”

“Dealing with a stricken girl forced me to adapt or risk her well-being. But, when your blood matters more than anything, you step up, you grow up, no matter what you must do. I wasn’t alone.” He nodded at Syber. “My cousin and Quinn were there, every moment of every day. If it wasn’t for them, I don’t think I would’ve kept my sanity. Though they wouldn’t tell you that. They’d say it’s the other way around.”

“Must be nice to have so many people to depend on,” I said, fingers absently running through his silk fine hair. The act comforted me, just as his leaning against my legs achieved.

Even though I’d just met him, he anchored me, when my mind had been conditioned to both think and expect the worst.

He studied my face upside down. “What about you?”

“My mom left three days after my eighth birthday. Unlike you, my dad couldn’t handle the job of being a parent on his own. It didn’t matter how much my grandmother tried to take off his shoulders. Her life became babysitting, cooking and cleaning. She would always tell me that my mom’s disappearance came as a real shock to him. All her suitcases and clothes were missing. Their bank and investment accounts had been emptied.” I paused and took a breath. I tried not to be too resentful for a situation beyond my control. “So, obviously, the police didn’t think it was a missing person’s case. She just plain up and left us in the night,” I talked as if hypnotized, mind not all in the present, but caught in the past. My subconscious and liquor consumption glossed over the words that left my mouth in a perfect little bow. Well, pretty as my history could get. “Dad started drinking real heavily, ignoring my existence. I became a ghost in my own life. While he was…around, my grandmother had to constantly take care of him.”

Kalvyn rubbed my leg. “This is no other pain than when the people who are supposed to love and cherish you, became too absorbed in their selfish desires. They talk themselves into forgetting what they created. Someone who never asked to be born.”

My breath caught. The pain in his voice was too real and raw. He knew, somehow. Not even Lola truly understood. No one had. Until tonight.

Even so, I refused to sound whiny. What was done no longer mattered. I pressed my lips together, then crawled further into my mind.

Kalvyn frowned, gnashing his teeth. “Katrina, sometimes it is better to talk about it, rather than keep closed up.”

“I suppose,” I whispered.

“I won’t share your secrets,” he said, “if you don’t share mine. Deal?”

I rubbed my bottom lip with my teeth, until it hurt. “I don’t understand why you care to know.”

He shifted so he faced me, slipping his hand into mine. “Because we all need time to heal old wounds. Even if it means ripping off a few scabs to do it. Tell me what happened to you makes you so sad underneath all the distance and contemplation.”

I breathed deep, exhaling slowly. “My dad couldn’t stand up half the time.” He nodded with encouragement. “I grew up quick, so I could start taking care of him. I tried to hide his problem from the world, even from my grandma. I didn’t want to get taken away from them. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have taken on so much, because no one knew how to help when we needed it most. I was too young to see the signs.”

One of his hands wrapped around my calf, the other tightened in my hand. “What happened?”

My throat closed, and I shook my head. Lola crept closer, concern on her face. I waved her off.