Chapter Forty-Six--I'm Not Human Anymore

Chapter Forty-Six--I'm Not Human Anymore

I’d have to slip on a strong, confident mask to soothe her. Lie to her about something new. I didn’t want to pretend anymore. I didn’t want to hide. I was tired. So tired. And now, I wasn’t even the same race as I was the last time I was conscious. I had a second chance at life. Lying to the only family I had left wasn’t the way I wanted to start this existence.

She had to know. She might never talk to me again, but that was a chance I’m willing to take.

“Where is Lola?” I croaked.

His studious expression changed, menace and fury reddened his cheeks. If looks could kill. “With Syber, at his cabin. Do not worry,” he spat. “She has been protected and coddled, just as you would’ve have demanded had you been awake.”

I winced. “You’re angry with her.”

“Of course I am.”

I cleared my throat as I debated my reply. Getting angry with him solved nothing. I climbed to my feet. “That night wasn’t her fault. She had a need that had to be met. I hadn’t anticipated the problem, and I should have. I’m normally more put together than that.”

He backed me against the trunk of a huge oak three times my width. His eyes glittered, his canines lengthening. “I know what happened from her perspective. I have the story she sniveled word for fucking word for two weeks. You warned her, Syber told her over and over again that day to stay in the truck. She listened to no one, and you could’ve died.”

My temper flared several more degrees. “We are human, Kalvyn. I’m so sorry that our limitations such as needing to urinate defied your carefully laid plans.”

“You are not human anymore.”

“I was then! In fact, a large part of me is still. You or the entity inside of me can’t change that.” At my side, my fists shook with a rage far more acute than anything I’d felt before. “Nothing had happened the whole night. Not a single sighting of a cat. Or even a squirrel. I thought it was safe, but I was wrong, okay? Don’t blame Lola, when she didn’t go anywhere until I agreed to allow it. If you’re going to blame anyone, blame me.”

“Always protecting everybody.” His lip curled. “She never should’ve asked.”

“Maybe if we’d been completely honest with her, she would’ve known better. The sad sob story I fed her was an illusion. Lola lives in an illusion. The two don’t mix. All I did was aid her false security. But guess what? Our security ended when we came to Summit Lake.” I laughed, the edge of hysteria breaking through.

My cat’s hold on my violate emotions waned.

His jerked as if I’d slapped him. He didn’t say the words etched on his face. You mean, you regret meeting me.

What he did say, was too damned close to the truth.

“Lola would have broken into a million shards had you told her half of what you knew.”

“Do you think I’m going to allow her to continue living in ignorance of her best friend? I’m sorry, but I need to break her illusion.”

“Are you sure that’s safe?”

His hidden meaning became too clear. “You want me to send her away, don’t you?”

“She’s human, Katrina.”

“So? I knew about you before I changed.”

“You are my mate. That is different.”

“Lola is my family! You think I’m going to stick around, without her? Give up everything of my old life, to be with you?”

His eyes widened, as if he honestly hadn’t thought of this outcome. “So you would leave me, with everything you know?”

Betrayal darkened his features as he collapsed to his knees in front of me. He started to reach for me, but I remained impassive. He dropped his arms, but his pain didn’t lessen.

“Lola could ask me the same thing. Don’t make me chose, Kalvyn. You won’t like what happens.” My cat prowled the depths of my mind, restless and agitated. “You see her as a danger, but, we’re package deal. You want me, she stays, unless she decides to leave on her own. And I don’t object to that very real possibility.”

He studied me for a long moment. “So be it.”

My eyes narrowed. Not for a moment did I believe he’d switch this easy.

“An Alpha on his knees for a woman. Who would’ve thought?” I said condescendingly.

“You, female, are the only person in this world I will ever kneel for,” he said, low and tormented. “And it’s my honor and privilege to do so.”

Nope. I would not melt. Reality check. His utter sincerity was the beginning of my undoing.

“I get the need to keep your people safe, Kalvyn. I really do. I’m one of you now, and that adheres me to rules that didn’t apply before. But you are not my Alpha,” I replied softly. “I am my own woman, and I follow my own lead.”

Amusement hinted in his eyes. “You are strong willed, and I’d expect nothing less.”

“Then know Lola is under my protection.”

As expected he flinched. “I understand.”

“From your entire clan and anyone else who thinks to cause her pain.”

“Of course.”

This time, when he reached for me, I didn’t back away. In the end, would Lola be welcomed as I have been?

“Yes, she will.”

My brow rose. “Can you read my mind now?”

“No. When you feel deeply, you think with your facial expressions. I’m observant to most people, but very sensitive to your moods. Further lending me aid, you’ve told me about yourself. One of the things you crave is people completely true and loyal. You and Lola will have that now, I promise you. Those who will care and watch over you as you grow into this new existence. We won’t fail or abandon you. Ever.” He paused. “I’m sorry I had not considered the situation further. I will readily admit that while you slept, I kept Lola around so you could say your goodbyes. I fell back on habit. But, I relinquish the decisions of Lola’s placement in our lives and what she is to be told, to you.”

My throat closed. My cat stilled.

Kalvyn offers you no small thing, my human. In his position, many Alphas would have killed the girl already. Regardless if his mate objected or not, to eradicate the threat to his clan. Lola is the equivalent to a ticking time bomb in this equation. Only more so when you tell her the truth she won’t be able to handle.

You aren’t happy with this decision.

Merely an observation. Your happiness means as much to me, as it does to him. I seek to point out that I’ve watched Kalvyn since birth. The leniency he extends to you is afforded to no other.