Chapter 22 That Moment
Serena's POV
I was scared, I was worried that this wasn't the right time. But I had to say it, I had to try.
Valentina turned to her good side to face me. She looked in pain but still managed to go through it. "What is it?" She finally asked.
I looked away from her, staring up at the ceiling like the answer to her question was written up there. I took deep breaths. In, out, in, out, but it was no good. My chest still felt very heavy and the words were still stuck somewhere in my throat.
How do I even say this? How would I spill out my guts to someone who has treated me as nothing but an intruder since day one?
I couldn't meet her gaze any longer, all I could do was stare up at the ceiling frame. I hadn't noticed how long I'd gone quiet till her voice cut through. "Serena? What's on your mind?" She asked, pulling me back to reality.
I shook slightly, but still didn't turn to her or even offer her an answer. Another minute or so passed then I heard her voice again.
"Whatever's weighing you down, tell me. If I can help, I won't hesitate."
I took another deep breath. "It's nothing."
"Come on. Don't bottle it up," she pressed on.
I shook my head, feeling too choked up by everything to let it out. The weight of it all pressed hard on me, like admitting it would make it feel worse. "Don't worry about it."
She breathed out loud. It sounded more like a sigh. "Fine. Take your time."
I didn't respond, neither did she say a word again for minutes. We both remained still, only the beeping sound of the monitors and the distant sounds of cars could be heard.
Then, after what felt like thirty minutes, she spoke up in a soft voice, one that I never expected from someone like her.
"You know, the biggest challenge I've faced in Dante's family isn't the shootouts or the backstabbing or any of that crap," she started, then paused, probably giving me room to speak.
I didn't want to, but I asked. "What was it then?"
"It was never having someone to talk to, not just exchanging words, but really talking. I had no one to pour out my heart to. It's turned me into this... shell, always locked up tight," she explained.
Wow. I wasn't exactly expecting that.
She stopped talking for a while, like she was gathering herself. I stayed quiet, giving her the room to continue.
"Dante's a great guy," she continued after a few more seconds. "He's ruthless when he needs to be and very committed to a course when he is. But emotional? Nah, not his thing. I've stuffed down so many feelings over the years, it hurts. Eat into you."
Her words opened me up. That isolation, the silent fake life. I'd felt it with Marco, now seeing part of it with Dante.
After she went silent for a few seconds, I whispered, "I'm bothered by Dante. I don't know what to feel around him anymore."
"What do you mean?"
I swallowed hard. "I can't help but feel like I'm nothing to him but a tool."
I heard Valentina shuffling a bit before I turned slightly to see her sit up a bit, wincing from the injury. "Hey, that's not true. Dante doesn't keep just anyone close. He sees something in you, I may not be able to tell you what. But you're not a tool."
"But I feel I am," I groaned. My voice had long cracked beyond its normal strength all thanks to the bubbling emotions rushing out. "Think about it. From the start, he saved me, yeah, but only to claim me. Like some property," I paused, taking a deep breath.
"That first night, the way he commanded me broke me down... he made me under his control. And now? The shopping trick, the whole bait thing, it's like I'm a doll he dresses up and guards, but only cause I fit his world. Not cause he cares."
We both went silent again.
"No, no," Valentina said quietly, breaking the silence. "He's protective cause he does care. In his way. The mafia life can be twisted and love looks different. He wouldn't risk everything if you were just a tool."
Tears stung at the back of my eyes.
"But look at the bait thing. He used me to draw out the Romanos and Marco's guys. Didn't even tell me," I paused, rubbing at my eyes.
"I was bait, Valentina. A pawn in his game. And the sex... it's intense, yeah, but it's always on his terms. Daddy this, obey that. Like I'm playing a role to keep him happy, not cause it's real."
Her face softened as I turned to her, but she pushed back gently. "Dante's not good with words or feelings. He shows it through actions—keeping you safe, giving you space in his world. That's huge for him. Give it time, he'll open up."
I wiped my eyes, frustration building up in me. "Time? I've given it time. I remember the courtyard stuff? He pointed a gun at my head, accused me of being a rat. One wrong word and I'd be dead," I choked out.
"Sere—" Valentina tried to say but I cut her off.
"Or the warehouse stuff. He dragged me but never let me in on his plans. It's all surface. He possesses me, but does he love me? Or am I just convenient. The girl who killed his second-in-command, now his pet to control?"
Valentina went quiet. Her eyes looked away from mine. I could see her thinking, weighing my words. The room felt heavier than before. My chest ached, saying all that out loud made it real, raw.
Finally, she sighed deeply. "Okay. I get it. It's not easy seeing the cracks when you're in deep. But Dante's damaged, lost his family young, built everything with walls around. But that doesn't mean he can't change."
"But what if he doesn't? What if I'm stuck feeling like this forever?"
She reached over, stretching her hand. I reached out too, letting our hands touch. The first real touch from her.
"Listen, talk to him straight. Demand more. If he cares, he'll step up. But don't sell yourself short, you're stronger than you think. You saved my ass out there with nothing but a pocket knife, that's badass. That's not a tool, that's a fighter."
I nodded slowly. Tears had begun flowing free now. "Thanks. That means a lot."
She squeezed my arm. Then we went quiet again after pulling apart. Till...
"So... what did you actually have in mind?" She asked suddenly.
I stared at the ceiling again. My heart was pounding badly. "I feel like running away."
She blinked. "Run? Why?"
"That's the only solution that justifies everything racing in my head. I want out, away from the guns, the lies, the feeling like I'm trapped again," I paused again.
"With Marco, it was abuse. With Dante, it's this... cold cage. I want freedom. To breathe without looking over my shoulder. Feel like me again, not his piccola or his secret. Make my own choices, even if they're wrong."
Valentina leaned back, thinking. "Don't rush. Give it time, more thought. Running from this world? It's hard and pretty dangerous. Dante won't let you go easily."
"I know. But I need it. I need freedom. To feel myself again."
The words rested between us gently quiet, like a secret shared that should never have been. A part of me was scared that I told he, but the other part didn't give a fuck again, even if Dante found out.
"Serena," I heard her call out and turned. ""If that's what you want... I may just have something that could help.”