I wake up with a start. It's still dark. I try to sleep back, but can't. I try to convince myself that it's only just my imagination. But my subconscious asks me to snap out of that rubbish and come to grips with the fact that I just felt footsteps beyond my bedroom door.
It's raining very heavily outside. My gaze goes to the window and fear sinks deep inside my chest. I don't remember locking it up. I don't even remember covering myself up with this thick blanket.
I didn't.
The blanket was way too deep inside my closet and if I had pulled it out, then I would surely remember. I carefully slide my legs from below the blanket.
My gaze goes to the door. It is slightly ajar and though my room is in darkness, the hallway is lit. But fear doesn't let me move and flip the switch on the wall to light up my room... to even see my shaking hands.
The rain continues to beat mercilessly against my window panes and I stare at the drops as they slide down the crystal glass. My laptop is open over the desk that is close to the window and it would have been totally irredeemable if it had been beaten by the rain but for the windows that are locked. Now.
My brain begins to work overtime because while the fear has driven sleep away from my eyes, my mind is still foggy. Lisa had had to go see her mother earlier tonight and so couldn't stay over like she promised. But I was appreciative of the gesture anyway and we'd had the locks changed earlier so I told her she had nothing to worry about. Which means I am alone in the house. Or I was alone.
I know that I locked all the doors before going to bed. So whoever locked my bedroom window would have had to break in. Again.
I shudder and it is not just the cold from not being covered by my blanket anymore.
I'm wishing I had whined like a little child when Lisa got that call from her mother so that she stayed over with me tonight. I had assured her that she didn't need to stay overnight with me since we've had all the locks changed. And her mom fell sick so how could I win against that? I'm not ill. I just may or may not have a stalker on my hands which might or might not be as a result of my brother and whatever shit is going on with him currently.
But what if she'd stayed overnight? Then we'd both have someone creeping in on us. I don't know how this invasion of privacy makes me feel, but I certainly don't want Lisa caught up in the shit that is currently taking over my life.
A part of me knows that this is all because of José and to an extent, Lisa's words a few days ago begins to make some sense. José is hiding something from me and it's annoying that it takes me this long to figure it out.
I sent him a text message earlier like Lisa suggested. I asked him to call me as soon as he got my text, that it was urgent. Knowing my brother knows how dramatic I can be, I'm not counting on him to return my text. But it was worth a shot.
If only he knows how these days, I feel like I'm being followed wherever I go. Feel like I'm being watched. And it's not the best feeling. Most importantly, I'm scared for him, because of all the recent happenings. Maybe he's not a police detective like he says and he works for the CIA or something and now someone is looking for him. Maybe?
A few days ago, I would have laughed at myself. Now, fear is stopping me from taking the trip down to my desk to check that whoever closed the window did so on time and my laptop is still alive, as invasive and scary as the fact that someone broke into my house, came to my room without my knowledge, is.
My phone rings loudly and I almost run under my bed. My heart is beating against my ribs like it would break out and my breathing is rapid. My gaze turns around the room like whatever malevolent force that had been in hiding is out now, holding a knife over my head.
My phone stops ringing as I try to steady my breaths. For the love of God, calm down, I tell myself.
It rings again and this is nothing short of haunted house creepy.
Slowly, I pick up my phone from my bedside table. My gaze focuses on the screen and I see that it's José calling me. Finally calling.
Some of my fear evaporates.
"José?"
"Nicole." He sighs. "You're okay. In your text, you said-"
I cut in quickly, pushing my former lie to the background.
"Are you crazy? Do you want me to have a mental breakdown?" I ask him.
He chuckles slightly. "Woah there. Calm down."
I can't.
"Where have you been? You said you'd be back today."
"My plans changed," José responds. "I can't come home for now."
"What? Why? And why haven't you been picking my calls?"
"I've been very busy."
"Are you serious? I've been scared for you and me, and I just wanted to know that you were safe yet you couldn't pick a simple call to tell me you're okay?" I don't realize that I'm shouting until I hear José's quiet voice.
"Nicole. Did something happen?"
"I think someone broke into the house yesterday." Even today. I pull the blanket over my body. "I don't know, but I feel like I'm being followed whenever I go out or being watched when I'm home. It might just be my anxiety acting out, but since I couldn't contact you, I started to have weird ideas."
"Nothing will happen to you." His voice is hard.
Excuse me, was something supposed to happen to me? My subconscious does not find this funny at all.