Chapter 20 CHAPTER TWENTY
ROSALINDA
During the whole talk with Seraphina, I could barely focus. My mind was fixed on Valerius and Zade.
What did Valerius tell him?
What exactly did Valerius tell him?
What does he know?
I hadn't even realized it was late until Seraphina informed me that she had to retire back to the chambers mom had the maids prepare for her.
I nodded and bid her goodnight then went back to my own chambers. Unable to calm down, I decided to meet Zade, on my way out, I sighted Valerius who was taking a walk down the hallway. I rushed uo to him ignoring the weird looks from the guards and maids.
"Valerius!" I yelled, making him stop and turn to me, his expression bored.
"What did you say to Zade?" I asked, my breath ragged as I stood inches away from him.
He merely shrugged, his expression shifting from bored to slight disgust. "What he needed to know."
"That what?" I asked, gritting my teeth.
"The truth, Rosalinda. The truth that you're still stuck on your past and-"
"And what?!"
"And" he tilts his head, his eyes darkening. "He should know that there's a ghost in your heart,"
I wanted to slap him.
I wanted to pull his hair from his scalp or throw him downstairs, but I didn't. Instead I just stood there, breathing hard.
"That doesn't concern you!"
"But it does," he says, making the hair on my skin stand, his arrogance was irking me so bad I felt like bugs were crawling all over me. "It does Rosalinda, and if you truly care about him. He should know the truth,"
"He already knows you're a monster,"
He clicks his tongue against the roof of my mouth and nodded. "True that. I'm petty too, however don't you think it's nice that he knows? Imagine how he would feel if he found out later?"
"It doesn't concern him!"
"Oh, but it does,"
"What do you mean?"
He leans in, his voice dropping low to an eerie whisper. "You'll find out soon," he straights up. "In the main time, go sort out your lovebirds issues."
With that he turned and began to walk away, then he stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Also, thanks once again for pleading for me. But I'll make it stop here. In five days, I'll be leaving. Thank you Rosalinda for everything."
\-
"Zade! Zade!" I yelled, my voice hoarse as I banged on his chambers door furiously. The wood vibrated beneath my fists, echoing the rage building inside me.
"Princess, You shouldn't-" Cyrus's voice calm and weary came from behind me.
"Stay out of this, Cyrus!" I warned, my head but even turning. I just kept on banging. "Zade, open the fucking door!"
I was cut short when the door suddenly swung open, revealing Zade. He stood there, looking utterly drained. His usually bright blue eyes were clouded with weariness, deep shadows beneath them, and his jaw was clenched, his expression a tight mask of anger and frustration. He looked like a man who hadn't slept in days, a man pushed to his absolute limit.
"Let's talk," I said, pushing past him without waiting for an invitation, heading straight inside. I heard him sigh, a heavy, resigned sound, and muttered something under his breath. I couldn't care less, I folded my arms across my chest, standing in the middle of his opulent room.
"It's late. What is it?" His voice was clipped, brusque.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing," he lied, his gaze flitting away from mine.
"You're lying, Zade. Talk to me. You never lie. What did Valerius tell you?"
I need to know exactly what Valerius told him.
I'm sure Valerius knows more things than I do, and he probably spat all of them to Zade to break us.
I was wrong.
He wasn't up to any good.
I shouldn't have let him stay.
"Nothing," he lied again, the word flat and unconvincing. He was hiding something, something he clearly I couldn't handle, and that pisses me off more than anything.
"Zade!"
"Rosalinda, I-" he hesitated then sighed. "Look, it's late and I don't want to talk about it,"
"But I want to know. We are going to be husband and wife soon, if you can't confide in me now....what's the point?"
He looks up, staring into my eyes, for a moment a flicker of vulnerability flashes through them. He sighed again and walked closer towards me, then wrapped his arms around me, taking me by surprise but I returned the gesture.
"I heard it all,"
My heart skipped a beat at his words. He knows. He knows the whole truth.
"Zade, I can explain-"
"You don't have to," he pulls away from me, he lifted my chin up with his fingers making me meet his gaze.. "I understand," he smiles softly. "It's okay."
"Then why did you act that way if you did then?" I cried, my anger dissolving into sadness as I stared into his eyes. "Why did you behave like that? I was so scared and-" I sniffled. "I even thought-"
"Hearing it from Valerius wasn't that pleasant," he admitted. "It was hard, actually."
"I'm sorry," I looked down at our feet. "I should have told you, I should have...I betrayed your trust,"
"No, it was hard. I understand. And I overreacted, I'm sorry."
I grinned ear to ear as I looked back up at him. "So that means we are cool, then?"
He laughed, a sound that vibrated through my body, sending shivers down my spine. "Yes. We are."
I let out a deep breath and wrap my arms around him, tighter this time.
"Thank you Zade."
"For what?" He murmured, resting his chin on my head.
"For not judging me."
"I would have done the same," he says.
"Really?"
"Hmhm," he nods slowly. "When you love someone, you do stupid things just to protect them. Sometimes we are right, sometimes we are wrong, what truly matters is how we felt, I know the outcome matters too but some things can't be controlled. So you don't have to hate yourself, rather, let it go."
Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes because of his words. Was it because it was what I had always wanted to hear? Or was it because it was coming from him?
"It's quite hard." I admits.
"He's gone, Rosalinda," his voice was flat, devoid of any emotion that it held seconds ago.
"I know." I half-lie.
He may be gone physically, but mentally he was still here, because he was still in my heart.
And unfortunately so was Zade and Cyrus.
"Can we change the topic though? I'm quite sleepy," I look up at him. "Perhaps we stay together until I sleep off?"
He arched a brow, an expression of shock and amusement. "Are you suggesting you want to stay in my chambers?"
I drew in my lower lip as I nodded slowly.
"It will cause rumors, you know?"
I winked. "Let them talk."
He laughed and hooked his arm around my knee, lifting me up in bridal style making me yelp out in surprise. "Alright then. Let me keep you company, your highness."