Chapter 63: My Safe Space
"Thank you," I whisper gently my affection shown as I lean down to kiss her cheek. She has always been a couple of inches shorter than me but now that I am wearing heels the height difference is very much visible.
"Who chose this dress? The colour is immaculate."
"My male," I say my cheeks warming up as I persist in arresting my growing smile from her. It feels bizarre to talk about Cronus in an affectionate way to her, I do not speak about us to my family as much as she would like.
I know she is being patient yet also very eager for me to bear pups of my own; she is not aware of how my mate has practically sealed my cunt off for later use all in the name of honour. Stupid male.
Her eyes twinkle with hope as she calmly scrutinizes my belly her hands quivering with expectation as she once more meets my eyes.
Silence envelopes the room tension and keen anticipation overflowing from my mom as I strive to restrain my laughter. "I am not pregnant, mom and I will not be for a while."
"B-But how can you be so sure? Tell me, have you been nauseous lately? What about food cravings or peeing frequently? Have you taken a test?" Endless questions flow out of her mouth my heart squeezing with mild pain to each word she utters. I would love it as much as she would to be a mother. I have always wanted to be a young mother.
I thought when I found my moon blessed I would get pregnant within six months like normal wolves do as you are fueled by passion and love which intensifies your sexual appetite but that is not the case on these lands.
"This dress was flown in from Italy through mutual connections. Cronus chose the colour, the pattern as well as designed the embroidery. It was his birthday surprise he wanted for me to have something meaningful." I speak quickly concluding our previous conversation wanting to switch the topic, I do not wish to get upset before the party.
Today is meant to be a happy day I do not want my emotions to run rampant and ruin the moment.
"Of course. I am happy for you, Yara. Alpha Cronus was the kind of male you always spoke of ever since you were a pup. The goddess has made your dreams come true; she did not give you any male. She gave you a king." Mom sighs as her fingers brush against the coldness of the gold bangle she gifted me before I left which I wear proudly over my right wrist. A symbol of my culture and traditions.
"But it comes with great responsibility, change, loss and sacrifices. My position as Luna to sit on the throne beside him at his right comes with a price, mom. Over the last year I have lost so much, parts of me I cannot seem to regain no matter how hard I try."
I shuffle towards the vanity to pick up my diamond tear-drop earrings putting them on as my mom comes forward to sweep my hair to the side allowing the thick strands to tumble over my shoulders.
As I prepare to leave the room with her so that the celebration can commence her eyes push against mine speaking to me telling me things that had never once left her lips. With a knowing look on her face that she continues to hold just for me to comprehend, she gives me a delicate nod confirming my truth. In other words, it is what it is.
*"That is what it means to be Luna. Sacrifices." *
My mom's words repeatedly echo within my ears as I gradually make my way through the crowd all standing upon the earth with lustrous shoes and pricey heels dressed in formal attire, each wolf invited exclusively for my birthday with the prospect of introducing me and making connections all beaming at me with teeth eagerly welcoming my presence.
I have never had this much attention before even when I was Avi's sister, I always felt as though I was invisible for my own status did not mean much in the pack other than being the Alpha's younger sibling. But once again the power my position in my male's pack comes with never fails to surprise me.
"Happy birthday Luna Qiyara, you look beautiful." Warm wishes and pleasant compliments are sent my way with every step I take forward. Foreign eyes drift upon my flesh taking in my existence my unease confining me my mind propelling me to hold my shoulders back and my spine straight to protrude confidence and dominance as I was trained.
I cannot show signs of weakness; I cannot show signs of juvenile immaturity for I know as much as they all protrude warmth they are silently evaluating me. To see my strength and my power to see why it is the moon had chosen me to sit beside one of the three kings.
My heart pounds wildly within my ribcage urging me to take deep breaths my palms moist as I nod at each wolf receiving their wishes with a benign smile plastered across my face as I eagerly scan the gathering digging through the unknown faces for my male.
How is it possible that he never came upstairs to pick me up? Is he not the one supposed to be guiding me through this introducing me to the wolves present here?
I do not even know who these wolves are; their faces so alien and their combined scents so overwhelming for me to digest. I feel as though I am drowning unable to successfully swim through their presence for it is not soothing of any sort but rather suffocating. I wish to run back to the solace of our room to *my safe space* as this is not it.