Chapter 31: I can't do this

Present

Cassandra.

A wedding ought to be a beautiful thing. A joyous and memorable occasion. Where two souls are joined in holy matrimony. Bonded by laws. To love, to cherish and obey. In sickness, health and otherwise. The day when two young lovers vowed to spend the rest of their lives together in each other's arms. A present union of two imperfect people. Like the happily ever after. It is meant to be a loving, intimate, selfless relationship between a man and a woman.

If you tell me I'll be getting married in three weeks, I'll laugh right in your face and call you stupid. Three weeks ago, I never imagined I'd be walking down the aisle or being led to the altar by a complete stranger. A man I met just once. On our engagement day. The very day he threw my ring so carelessly. As soon as I got back inside that night, I ignored everyone and went to bed immediately. I didn't care if my father got angry or that I had an engagement party going on. All I needed was space.

Sebastian Spenser.

The heir of Spenser cooperation and legitimate face of the family business. He is taking me as his bride because he needed me to give him an heir. Because my grandfather thought it was good for business.

I stared down at my wedding dress. It is a heavy Ralph Lauren custom-made ball. It was made up of the finest Chinese silk with a floral of white lilies. It is gorgeous, fancy and expensive. It was chosen by my mother. I would have preferred a simple yet elegant one, but mother insisted I get this particular one. Only the best for the Spenser and Hastings union.

"It'll be the talk of the town," she said.

It is a cover-up story for the public, the people and the media. Grandfather was one of the richest men in the country. He is resourceful and very influential. He mingled with the richest men in the country. Like wise the Spencer family.

"Are you nervous?" Isabella asked as she did the last touch of my make-up. She was an older maid in my grandfather's house and took a liking to her whenever I was there. Today, I wanted her to dress me up. My mother had already hired a professional to do the makeup and dress me up, but I turned it down because I didn't want to share the last few minutes I have in this house with a bunch of strangers who only care about dolling me up.

Mother was infuriated, but she later gave in as she didn't want to cause a scene on an important occasion like this.

"" I replied. The truth is, I couldn't even tell if I was nervous or not. Terrified

Yeah. That's the word. I didn't know what was in it for me or what was to come.

"It's okay to be nervous, Cassandra." She is finally done with the make-up. She swirled my chair so that I was facing her. "It is always like this at first, later it will get better."

I wanted to tell her there's no better ending to this. In less than thirty minutes, I'll be tying the knots with a man that couldn't bear to see me. I'll be bound to him for the rest of my life.

Running away isn't even a possibility because my father would hire the best team to hunt me down. My face will be displayed in every media and no one who knows who my grandfather is will ever help. Unless they'll be returning me home for a ransom.

" You were like a daughter to me, Cassandra. " I watched you grow up right under my eyes. "Your grandfather loved and cherished you. " I want you to know that. "Even though he later had to drag you in his battle with your father" Isabella paused and nudged my chin high with her index finger so that I held up high.

" You're about to get married and become a Spencer. You'll get served and be his wife, which means you'll have to produce him an heir. No matter what Cassandra, you don't have to give up. You'll be responsible for your new family. "You must not let him use your weakness against you. " I nodded, feeling my troath closed with unshed tears.

She pulled me into a warm embrace. "I'll miss you, Isabella," I said in a small voice.

I know me too, Cassandra. "I'll miss having you around," she said, patting my back.

I stood at the front of the chapel and inhaled a deep breath. With the help of Isabella, we found our way down here some minutes ago. When my mother boasted that this wedding would be the talk of the town for months, I never knew she meant this. It was decorated and covered in flowers. I have pictured and dreamed of this day ever since I was little. And now that's happening, I'm dreading it.

My father was already waiting by the door, ready to walk me down the altar where my soon-to-be husband was waiting.

" You look absolutely gorgeous in this dress, Cassandra. " You reminded me of the day your mom and I got married. "She also has the same look." He gave me a soft smile. This one is genuine.

"Thank you, Father"

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss on my head, not lifting the veil.

" I'm going to miss you, Cass. We didn't really get along, but let's try to do a better job now that you're getting married. If you are uncomfortable there, you can always call me. "I'm still your father." The expression on his face was unmistakable. A mixture of sadness and regret.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and drew him closer. "Me too, father," I said. I'll miss my parents terribly. They are not the best, but I still love them both dearly.

Father held out his arm and I entwined mine with his. Isabella handed me my bouquet of white lilies, then we walked through the double doors and into the chapel.

I fidgeted and almost skipped a step at the flashes of the camera that came over us all at once. Father must have sensed this as he bent down slightly to whisper in my ear. Somewhere in the back of my head I could hear the organist play

Here comes the bride.

" It only gets awkward at first. "Try to smile, and you'll be fine," he said.

I did as he says and it finally got better. There are faces of people who I didn't know. Of course, my grandfather must know them all. I'm sure these people are here to witness the union and gossip. It must have looked like a fairy-tale.

But it was far from it.

This is not a beautiful Union; it's a facade.

A mere disguise.

"She's yours now" my father said when we reached the altar where Sebastian was standing. I watched . My father turned and moved to sit beside my mother. My mother had tears in her eyes. She sniffled and brought a handkerchief to wipe her tears. I almost laughed at her drama. If any of these camera crews don't capture a good shot with her crocodile tears, they'll be in trouble later.

All she could do was put on a show for the media and that was it. At least someone's doing their job right.

The moment I stood beside him, his jaw tightened. His grip on my hand was so tight that I feared it would leave a bruise afterward.

“Dear beloved brethren, we are gathered here today to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony,” the priest began, and I barely paid attention to what he was saying. All that my mind could think of was the man standing beside me.

Blood rushed through my veins and I swayed, as the numbness slowly took over. I could hear the beating of my heart echoing in my ears.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

It was so loud, I wondered if Sebastian could hear it. My legs trembled, feeling weaker than ever. I worried they’d give up on me, and I’d end up taking my vows on my knees.

There was silence in the chapel as the priest started the vows. He started with Sebastian.

"Sebastian William Spencer, do you vow to take Cassandra Alicia Hastings as your wife, to live together in holy matrimony, to love, honor, obey and cherish, in love, health and in sickness, through sorrow and pain for all the days of your life?"

Sebastian turned to face me. His expression hardened, and I watched as he clenched his jaws.

"I do," he said, not looking away from me. I dare not look up to meet his gaze.

Now, it is my turn. The priest turned to me and repeated the vows.

"Cassandra Alicia Hastings, do you vow to take Sebastian Williams Spencer's husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love, honor, obey and cherish, in love, health and in sickness

, through sorrow and pain for all the days of your life?"

When it was my turn to say the vows, silence consumed me. I closed my eyes and swallowed.

I can't do this.