Chapter 14: I can do this

“He’s probably just checking in. I should answer it,” I said to him when I felt him stand behind me.

I walk into the ensuite as I hold the cell phone out in front of me, on speakerphone. The lights automatically switch on and I walk across the

sleek room, past the sauna, and grab some tissues. Dabbing at my chest, I listen to dad – to my very own father, the man I just betrayed in less than a minute ago. If only he could know what I have done. Will he condemn me or will he accept it? I tried not to picture the look on his face if he ever finds out.

"Hi, dad" I tried as much as possible to sound casual. Like I haven't just been naked and sucked by his best friend who is supposed to be watching me. I suck at lying or faking things and dad always sees the lies in my eyes, so I'm grateful this is a phone conversation. Even though my conscience is eating me up. I've done the abomination. Firstly, none of it ever makes sense, since five years ago. None of it ever did. Having a crush on my dad's best friend and now it's not just a crush anymore. It has turned into something more. What we both might not be able to handle. It has escalated that I now want him. Love him perhaps, I've never really liked anyone the way I like him.i hope he could return the feelings one day and not just use me to conquer his sexual urges.

"Annie….. Annie…are you there?hello?"

"Yh. Yes….. I am. Sorry what were you saying? I got carried away" I say and stared down at my toes in embarrassment as though he could see me. My mouth is dry, my lips cracked. The lying causing shudders to move through me, invasive and effective as they burn. I kissed my dad's best friend. My dad best friend did things to me that are undiscriptable with words. I want him forever. Screaming the words silently within my mind does little to relieve the desire, the guilt thet washes all over me.

"Morning, Annie. So it looks like I’m going to be delayed. Can you freaking believe that, The storm is really bad. People are calling it a freak storm. It’s so annoying, and I know you must be so scared, they're all alone.” As I turn to throw the tissue down the toilet, I catch sight of myself in the reflection of the mirror. My bra is pulled down to reveal my breasts, and they still shimmer slightly with Millie’s father’s seed. I can’t lie to her, not after what I just did, the betrayal I just participated in.

“I’m not alone,you should remember I don't stay alone that's why I'm staying in the dorms at college instead of getting my own apartment” I murmur, adjusting my bra, covering myself.

“Oh.” He pauses. “Is Josh still there? I thought he's going to leave today. I should let him stay with you” dad says. If only he could, Josh did more than staying with me. He has my cunt in his warm mouth untill I come in his mouth.

“Yeah. He said You asked him to. Was he going to leave?.”

"Yeah, he was in town and since I couldn't make it last night, I asked him to come stay with you. I don't want you to drive all the way back here or stay alone" Dad explained. He's understanding and reasonable enought to think that way.

“was it comfortable?"

well it was. The feeling of his erection pressed against me was wonderful.

"Sorry, what was?" I asked. It is the second time I'll be losing track of the conversation already.

"Having Josh around, I know it's been five years since she left. Actually I have been keeping in touch with him and all that, he just wouldn't agree to come see you so I think he's making use of this time to make up for lost time" dad explained. I looked up to face Josh but he has his back turned to me already. The phone is on speaker so he must have heard what just happened. I know he's avoiding me because of what I did. The letters. The diary he saw but I didn't know he still kept in touch with dad and neglected all advances to visit me. Did he know when I celebrated my eighteenth birthday and how I wished he was there? Did I know who I stalk him on social media for years? Since he's not really a social person, there's nothing much to find out there.

His being in town and showing up when I needed him most is what was surprising.

"It's comfortable, I haven't done much but I will do that soon. I was at first surprised to find him in the house" I told dad, making sure my voice was audible enough for him to hear. We have a whole lot of talking and catching up to do and that didn't involve getting naked and having our hands all over each other.

I left the bedroom and returned to the bedroom, cringing at the wistful note in her voice. Of course, she had to pick tonight of all nights to talk about her dad when she never normally does it. It’s like fate is playing a sick game with me. This part is what concerns dad and I. I didn't want Josh to overhear us. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked up the stairs and into the bedroom.

"So dad, when are you going to come? I've been wanting to go to the woods but I couldn't go on my own. Could you believe I almost lost my way coming down here last night?

"You did!?"

"I said almost. Everything has been changed and the road looks deadless, coupled with weather issues. "

"Oh, that. The storm is coming lately. Coming down there might be a little dangerous. I was worried sick about you when I couldn't get to you. Josh later called that you arrived safely" Dad told me. I didn't know about all this. He didn't tell me he called dad, I was

"But he didn't tell me that" I whined and complained to my dad.

“of. I don’t know. And then it just went away.”

Dad sighs

"Don't mind him dear, it might have skipped his mind, I know how close you two are. You can even tell him to walk the woods with you, I'm sure he would not mind" dad offered. Well, if I did tell Josh to walk the woods with me he might. I don't know what his reaction would be. But I might have to give it a try. Perhaps that will give us the chance to discuss just like I had hoped. I heard the noises in the background. Looks like he's on the road but not driving. My best guess is that he might be going to work. Dad works In a chemical industry owned by some foreigners, even though he had a greater percentage of the shares, he still works. He was an employee before he bought shares, so he left his job and didn't quit.

All these happened after mom passed away. At first I had thought he was using it to get over her and not worry too much about her passing away but when it became consistent, it was then I realised it was how he was. His going to work has nothing to do with her. Even up till now, I don't see him going on dates, having night rest over at another place except those times when work permits him. Yeah, it all comes back to work. Even those times he always regretted it and call on Josh to watch over me. More like babysitting me.