Chapter 101: Mistake

killian

I couldn’t utter a single word as she cried behind me. I didn’t even have the heart to turn around.

I just…. I just…. fuck! I’m tired of all this. I rubbed a hand over my face, my shoulders shaking. I must maintain my resolve; it’s for both our good.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t.” I forced those words out of my mouth.

She was silent for a while, almost as if she was struggling to say something. “You can’t? Are you just going to leave me?”

I closed my eyes tightly, if only she knew how hard it is for me too. “ I can’t, Raven. I can’t compete with my brother. I don’t want to resume another family feud that I won’t win.”

I heard her take a rushed step towards me.“ Not you…we! It’s for us….Killian.We can fight for each other.”

Tch.

“ I said I can’t !” I snapped, my voice growing loud.“ It’s not something I can handle, I don’t want to start a fight that’ll I’ll eventually lose.”

" You’re not in this alone. I’m here, Killain. If we do this together, then we can….”

I cut her off. I don’t want to talk about this anymore, or I’ll only keep struggling within myself.“ Stop!”

Silence followed.

A very long silence with just the sound of our breathing echoing in the room. I should leave, right? But I didn’t.

Neither of us did.

I stood there unable to move because I knew if I left, I wouldn’t be coming back, and so my subconscious struggled with my muscles.

She finally spoke up, and I know this was her trying to fix things between us. And me? I’m not even trying; I’m a coward.

“ Nero gave me two weeks.” She started, and I tensed.

" For what?”

I heard her sigh heavily.“ I don’t know.” She started sobbing again.“ He wants the mother of his child, so that he can watch over them in whatever cave he’s hiding in.”

I clenched my fists tightly as anger flooded my veins. I can feel my resolve already breaking just from the mention of his name, and Alex’s words rang in my ears.

I guess he was right about one thing…I can’t bear to see her with Nero.

“I don’t want to go with him, Killian. I don’t know what he’s planning, but I don’t want to go with him.” She cried.

Fuck!

My last resolve just snapped, but I have to keep it cool. Over my dead body will I let him lay a finger on her? He must be mad to think he can just abduct her and keep her tied to his bedroom like a rag doll. That has been his plan since he could count the stars. Fucking lunatic! He’s trying to prove to me that he has every hold over her, just like he always had.

He’s not doing this because he is in love with her or cares for his child. He’s doing this to torment me, to make me miserable.

“ You’ll be fine, Raven!” I simply said, then moved over to the door. I paused as I gripped the door handle, wondering if I would regret what I was about to say.

I think I’m just being an emotional bitch, just like Alex said, but either way, I let the words flow out of my mouth.“ You’re carrying his child, Raven. You’re now his responsibility, not mine.”

It was at this time that I should have walked out, right?

But guess what? I didn’t.

My fingers refused to twist the doorknob. It was like this magnetic force pulling me away from the door and towards her. It was like there was this thick black vortex that prevented me from going any further. I just remained standing here, my pulse quickening and hands trembling over the knob.

She had burst into another round of tears. I’m beginning to think that God is punishing me now because he knows how well I get affected by her tears.

I hate it when she cries, even more so when she cries because of me.

“ You’re selfish!” She wailed.“ I thought you were better than Viktor, but you’re even worse.”

I gritted my teeth.

Of course I am, we’re brothers after all. But hearing it come from her hurts way more than when my father called me a madman.

I wanted to say something, but it was like there was a gag in my mouth. Each time I try to say a word, the pain in my chest grows so intense that it blocks off all the air in my lungs.

“ You know.” She sniffed, her voice growing stable.“ I keep wondering why you believed Scarlett that day.”

I creased my brows, my feet moving on their own, and then I turned to face her. My shoulders slumped at the sight of her. Her eyes were red and swollen. Her face was so soaked with tears, along with the neckline of her dress.

Oh god, I hurt her badly.

“ What….what are you talking about?” I breathed.

She wiped her face with her palm.“ Scarlett just came out of the blue and handed you a DNA test, and you just believed her without a second thought.” She gave me a bitter smile, and the pain in my chest increased drastically, along with this feeling of evil foreboding.

My breath got caught in my throat as she continued talking.“ I….I didn’t even get to see the DNA test myself.”

I took a step forward, desperation in my voice. Please, let this not be what I think it is. God, please….let all this not be a mistake.

I won’t forgive myself.

“It occurred to me just yesterday that I had asked Mary to do the DNA test because I wasn’t sure who the father was, but then, the DNA test never came. Scarlett just appeared with a sheet of paper. I never got to confirm if it was positive or not.”

The world tilted around me, and she continued.“ Apparently, you trust Scarlet well enough to believe what she said more than what I have to say.”

I couldn’t breathe anymore.” Raven…no..I….”

“Even Mary never got to see the results before Scarlett snatched it from her.”

I took another desperate step forward, and she took two steps back .” No….don’t come near me. You were about to leave, right?” She shook her head from side to side.

“ Raven….” I breathed; my eyes were becoming hot and blurry.

God no……

“I didn’t even realize it on time. Unfortunately, I never got to do a DNA test, so I have no idea where Scarlett got her results from.”

What have I done?

“Raven…let’s….we can get a test done if …if…” I couldn’t even put a sentence together anymore.

I felt lightheaded at the realization of what this might mean.

She picked up the robe on the bed and wrapped it around herself. “ No, it’s fine….I’ll leave tomorrow. You’ll never hear from me again, I promise you that.”

Her words shot right through my heart.“ R-Raven…..please.”

She brushed past me, and I turned slowly, watching her as she opened the door and shut it with a bang.

It felt like a heavy weight was pressed down on me that instant. I pressed my hand on my chest, struggling to gasp for breath.

It hurts.

It hurts so much.

My knees buckled; they could no longer keep me standing, so I collapsed to the ground as my face turned moist. I lifted my hands to my face, wondering why the hell my face suddenly turned moist.

It took a moment for me to realise that I was crying.