Chapter 159
Rowan's POV
The thought made something in my chest twist painfully.
I stood up and moved to the window, looking out over the city lights. Somewhere out there, Marcus Grant was sitting in a cell, and Vivian was probably plotting her next move, and Nora was awaiting trial. The whole mess was far from over—there would be hearings and depositions and eventually a trial.
But the immediate crisis had passed. Lena was safe. Which meant my excuse for being here was rapidly evaporating.
So make a new excuse, a voice in my head suggested. Or better yet, stop making excuses and just tell her the truth.
The truth. That I'd been an idiot. That I'd had something precious and treated it like a business transaction. That I'd spent two years sleeping next to her and somehow never really saw her until she was walking away.
That I didn't want to walk away anymore.
That I wanted another chance, even though I had absolutely no right to ask for one.
My phone buzzed again. Another message from Jack: Boss, the perimeter's secure for the night. You should get some rest.
I sent back an acknowledgment, but I knew I wouldn't sleep. Not yet.
Instead, I found myself thinking about tomorrow's conversation with Emily. About what I'd say, how I'd explain that I was trying to do better, be better. That I wanted to understand Lena not because I felt guilty or obligated, but because the version of her I'd glimpsed these past two weeks—fierce and fragile and absolutely unbreakable—had completely undone me.
I wanted to know the woman who'd apparently been carrying feelings for me long before I'd been smart enough to notice. I wanted to understand what she'd seen in me that I'd been too blind to see in her.
And then—maybe—I wanted to figure out if there was any possible way to deserve a second chance.
The apartment was quiet. Down the hall, Lena's light was still on. I could see the faint glow under her door. Probably working, because that's what she did when she couldn't sleep. Probably building her case against Marcus with the same meticulous attention to detail she brought to everything.
I should go to my room. Give her space. Maintain appropriate boundaries.
Instead, I walked quietly down the hall and stopped outside her door. I didn't knock. Just stood there for a moment, listening to the soft sounds of her moving around inside.
"I know you're out there, Rowan." Her voice came through the door, tired but amused. "Your security team isn't exactly subtle."
I winced. "Sorry. I was just—"
"Checking on me?" The door opened. She was still in the clothes from court, though she'd taken off her jacket and shoes. She looked exhausted and beautiful and so guarded it made my chest ache. "I'm fine."
"I know you are." I kept my hands in my pockets, maintaining distance even though what I wanted was to reach for her. "I just wanted to make sure you didn't need anything before I turned in."
She studied me for a moment, those sharp eyes seeing too much. "What I need is for Marcus to stay locked up, for Vivian to leave me alone, and for about twelve uninterrupted hours of sleep." A pause. "In that order."
"I can't help with the sleep," I said. "But the first two are covered. My people have eyes on the detention center, and if Vivian tries to contact you, we'll know."
"We." She repeated the word softly, something unreadable crossing her face. "You know you don't have to do this anymore, right? Marcus is contained. The immediate threat is over. You can go back to your own life."
There it was. The exit I'd been thinking about all evening, offered to me directly.
I should take it. Thank her for understanding. Pack my things in the morning. Give us both space to move on.
"What if I don't want to?" The words came out before I could stop them.
Lena blinked. "What?"
"Go back," I clarified. "What if I don't want to go back to how things were?"
The silence stretched between us, heavy with everything we weren't saying. I could see her walls going up, that careful neutrality she wore like armor.
"Rowan—"
"I'm not asking for anything," I said quickly. "I just... I'm just saying I don't want to leave yet. Not until I'm sure you're really okay."
"I'm always okay." But her voice was softer now, less certain. "That's kind of my thing."
"I know." I held her gaze. "But maybe you don't have to be. Not all the time. Not with me."
She looked away first, her hand tightening on the doorframe. "You should get some sleep. Tomorrow's going to be another long day."
It was a dismissal. I should respect it.
"Lena—"
"Goodnight, Rowan."
The door closed gently but firmly between us.
I stood there for a moment longer, then retreated to the guest room. But as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd just missed something important. Some crucial moment where I should have said more, pushed harder, made her understand that I wasn't just here out of duty anymore.
Tomorrow, I'd talk to Emily. I'd start learning who Lena really was, beneath all the armor.
And then I'd figure out how to convince her that I wasn't going anywhere—not unless she explicitly told me to leave.
Even then, I wasn't sure I could.