Chapter 31: Codename: Blackheart Chapter Thirty-One

I lay on my bed, staring up at the chandelier hanging above me as I count each individual crystal. I only manage to make it to twenty or so before I lose count and have to start again. I glance over at the clock by my bed and sigh when I see it’s time. I slowly sit up and take one final look around my room, as this might be the last time I ever see it.

As I sit here mentally preparing myself to get up, I can’t help going over the last two weeks in my head and wondering if I used my time wisely. This happens every year. The dreaded time of departure arrives and suddenly every minute before then feels wasted. Like you had the chance to make what could be your final days’ worth it and you didn’t use them wisely. I know I’m being silly, it’s just where my mind goes every single time.

With a deep breath, I steal my shoulders, get to my feet, and exit my room turning off the light and closing the door behind me; potentially closing the book on my life as I know it. As I make it downstairs, I see my dad comforting my mum, my grandpa leaning against the couch looking pensive and Alec standing in the corner, not looking at anyone. What, no balloons or streamers for my send-off? Rude much?

“You all look like someone died,” I announce as I come down the stairs.

Mum lets go of my dad and rushes over, pulling me into her arms. I wrap my arms around her, breathing in her rosewater perfume, committing it to memory like I always do. Dad walks over and wraps his arms around both of us and places a lingering kiss on top of my head.

“Remember everything we taught you. Stay focused, stay calm and when it gets too much, find your centre before you make any moves,” says Dad in a thick voice.

I smile and nod, “Like I could ever forget.”

“Just come back alive,” my mum urges, tears filling her eyes.

“I promise to try,” I say as I kiss her cheek. I slowly let my parents go and walk over to my grandfather who stands up straight.

“Be as ruthless as you have to be. Don’t worry about anyone else, just worry about yourself. Your name is Blackheart, so be Blackheart,” he says, giving my shoulders a firm squeeze.

I smile up at him. “I’ll miss you too,” I say, hugging him as tight as I can.

His arms engulf me, and I feel him rest his cheek on top of my head. “You’re the best granddaughter anyone could ever hope for,” he says warmly with a wobble in his voice. I look up to see the tears slowly trickling down his cheeks and getting caught in his crow's feet. I softly kiss his cheeks and give him my best smile.

I hate goodbyes. They’re necessary, but I still hate them. I especially hate goodbyes when you end up not dying because then it just makes them awkward, but it’s also why we never actually say the words ‘goodbye’ or ‘I love you’ when this happens. It’s a level of finality we’ve never been able to commit to. To say it feels like we believe that person has no chance of coming home, and we refuse to do that.

I look over at Alec who is just watching us with a stoic look on his face. We haven’t spoken since dinner the other night. He has just kept to himself or hidden away in his room.

“Aren’t you going to say goodbye?” I ask. He looks me dead in the eye, his ocean-blue eyes saying more than his face, but still, no words leave his lips. If that’s how he wants to be, fine by me. “Well, wish me luck. Here’s hoping I come back alive and with all my limbs,” I joke, though no one laughs. Tough crowd.

“We’ll be there in the crowd cheering you on,” says Mum with a forced smile.

“Feel free to put a couple bets down for me. I’m in a gambling mood,” I say in a chipper tone.

“You can’t bet on yourself,” Grandpa scolds.

“No, but nothing says two assassins travelling together can’t bet on me,” I say cheekily.

“We’ll put down a sizeable bet on you to win,” says Dad with an encouraging smile.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about! Thank you, Dad,” I smile at him. I take one last look at everyone as my stomach flips with anxiety. God, I hate this part. “I’ll see you all soon,” I say, and with that, I turn on my heel, walking out the door, refusing to look back.

I get outside and start walking over to my SUV when I hear running from behind me.

“Heart, wait!” shouts Alec, rushing out of the house and over to me. I turn to look at him expectantly. “I can’t let you go and leave things this way. I’m sorry for how I acted the other night and for the things I said. Please forgive me,” he begs, his face looking deeply apologetic.

“I don’t need to forgive you because I was never mad at you. It was a stupid and uncalled-for thing you did, but I haven’t spent the last couple days holding a grudge over it. I’ve kind of been more focused on other things.”

He blinks in surprise, “You’re really not mad at me?”

“Nope,” I say, popping the ‘p’.

“Oh… Well, this is awkward,” he chuckles, rubbing the back of his head. He lets out a deep sigh, “I still don’t want you to leave with those being the last words we say to each other,” he says solemnly.

“So, what would you prefer our last words to be then?”

His eyes bore into mine like he’s searching for my soul so that he can hold onto it and never let go. His hands come up and hold my head in place as his lips crash down on mine and I decide not to fight it. I hold his face and return his kiss with all the passion and urgency I can muster. This might be my last kiss, so better make it worth it.

His kisses turn from deep and passionate to slow and tender as he softly brushes his lips against mine and leaves delicate pecks on my top lip and then bottom lip. My eyes flutter open as he rests his forehead against mine and I’m once again rendered mute.

“I hope that said everything I couldn’t put into words,” he whispers.

I smile softly and stroke his cheek with the back of my fingers, “Try not to get into trouble while I’m gone.”

“I’m only in trouble when you’re around,” he says pointedly.

“Then you should be fine,” I grin and place one final, tender kiss on his lips which is rudely interrupted by a car honking. I look over at my SUV to see Uncle Marcel getting out of the driver’s side.

“Unlock those lips or you’re going to be late,” he says, tapping his watch.

“What are you doing here?” I ask in surprise.

“Thought you could use the company on the drive to the jet,” he says warmly. I smile at him and feel myself relax. I really am lucky to have such an amazing family.

“So, I guess this is it,” Alec says sadly.

“For now,” I smile and step back, “See you soon.”

“I’ll be waiting,” he says, an unspoken promise in his words.

With a final look at Alec and my home, I turn around, walk over to the SUV, and climb into the passenger seat as Marcel gets back in the car.

“That looked like more than just role play,” Marcel points out as he starts the car and begins driving down the gravel drive.

I watch out the window as Alec’s frame quickly disappears from my sight. “What can I say? He’s a good kisser,” I shrug. Marcel says nothing more, he just reaches over and squeezes my hand.

The drive to the airstrip feels never-ending, but it is comfortable despite its silence. There’s really nothing to say at a time like this, but just having Marcel’s company is more than enough. I catch him glancing over at me every now and then and it gives me a sense of protection. It’s moments like these that I’ll carry with me through every stage of The Tournament. They are what will get me through hell on earth.

The beautiful, grassy fields begin to disappear the closer we get to the airport and soon Marcel is driving onto the tarmac, making his way to the steps of my jet. He parks and is out, opening my door before I’ve even gotten the seatbelt unlocked. He offers me his hand and with a gracious smile, I place my hand in his and get out of the car.

Marcel looks down at me with a sad smile and pulls me into a hug. “Remember, we’re thinking of you the whole time,” he says softly.

I hug him tightly and kiss his cheek, “Thank you for driving me and keeping me company. Give my love to Vivienne.”

He nods, “I promise.”

I take a deep breath, inhaling the familiar smell of jet fuel as I board my jet. I take a seat, buckle up and get ready for take-off. It’s not long before the plane is in the air heading for Milan. I get to spend the next few hours bored out of my mind. Once it’s safe, I unbuckle the seatbelt and go to the fridge to find something to eat. I grab a chilled glass bottle of coke – the best kind there is – and notice a plate of roast beef sandwiches wrapped in cling wrap with a post-it note on top. I pull out the plate and read the note.

Thought you could use the snack.

Never travel on an empty stomach.

Love, Uncle Marcel

I smile at the handwritten note as I take the plate and drink over to the bed. I kick my shoes off, climb on the bed, and pull up one of the side screens. I put on Bram Stoker’s Dracula and settle in with good food, a cool drink, and my favourite movie. It might not seem like much, but this is the kind of relaxation I need right now. I need to remember not to get in my head.

For the last few weeks, I haven’t been Blackheart. I’ve been Alina. Because of everything with Alec, I’ve spent time being more myself than I ever planned to, and I’ve gotten comfortable. Usually, I’m good at going from being myself to being the cold-hearted assassin everyone knows and fears, but this entire Grigoras mess has made me deviate from my normal routine in more ways than one and let’s be honest, Alec has definitely messed with my head and my vagina, though one I enjoyed more than the other.

Right now I need to take the last few weeks and lock them away in the back of my mind and focus on being Blackheart. From the moment I step off this plane, I will be cold, emotionless, fearless, and capable of anything. Death is my bitch and she’s not coming for me this year.

Before I know it, the jet is landing at Milan Linate Airport and that feeling of dread is swirling around my stomach, but I’m quick to ignore it. The door to my jet opens and I calmly make my exit, seeing a stretch limousine with tinted windows waiting on the tarmac with a chauffeur dressed in all black, a black hat dipped low, and black Ray Bands on. The sun is setting, and his attire is designed to mask any distinguishing features.

I make my way down the stairs and walk over to the limousine.

“Miss Blackheart, you’re right on time. I am here to escort you to the venue. Won’t you step in?” says the man courteously in perfect English though with a thick Italian accent, as he opens the back door of the limousine. I nod in thanks and slide in. I listen as my driver makes his way to the front of the limousine and gets into the driver’s seat. “You will find a tray for you on top of the mini bar,” he informs me. I see some traditions haven’t changed.

I slide over and see a crystal tumbler on a tray on top of the bar, filled with water and a handwritten note that says, ‘drink me’. Yeah, yeah. I know the drill. Ignoring the Alice in Wonderland vibes, the venue where The Tournament is held is a secret location only known to the host and the people responsible for putting this whole thing together. Competitors and guests are taken to the location in secret to protect its anonymity and prevent anyone from alerting Interpol. Can’t shut down what you can’t find.

I look into the rearview mirror as the driver watches me through his Ray Bands as I down the entire glass, then place it back on the tray. Once satisfied, the driver brings up the partition and I sit back in my seat as the car sets off to its destination. After a few minutes, I start to feel my body become heavy and the inside of the limo becomes blurry. Already knowing what’s coming, I lean my head back, edge myself a little towards the door and close my eyes. Even with my eyes closed, I can still feel that heaviness until it soon takes over and everything fades to black.