Chapter 175: Chapter 175

Kyra POV

I thought of you today.

But then again, I think of you every day.

The only difference was today

I could think of you without pain.

Without crumbling.

Today, I thought of you, and I smiled.

And it was all worth it.

I’d do it again.

Every tear, every sleepless night, every day of missing you.

I would do it all again, just to have you.

I miss you. I want you. I love you.

I wish for you.

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Kyra

I love waking up at the Inn because the cool breeze blows through the bedroom windows, and I can see and hear the water if I sit up in bed.

Watching the sun set and rise every day is a beautiful bonus.

My moment of tranquility on the tenth day of my visit quickly fades as my eyes lower from the view out my window to Snuggles in her cage.

Usually, she sits atop her little wooden house and stares out the window or sleeps peacefully up there, enjoying the fresh air, her little bunny nose twitching.

But today, she’s laying on her side in the cage, up against her pile of hay. Throwing my quilt off, I race over to her cage and pull the little door open, reaching inside to stroke her.

“Snuggles?”

My tiny best friend is unmoving. Not breathing. Her little nose is incredibly still.

She’s gone.

“No, no, no…” I whisper, gently stroking her ears. “Please wake up.”

Years and months of pent-up anguish roll over me as I lean my forehead against the metal cage. The heartache that came from losing my mother, then my little cousin, the teasing at school, and the confusion with Tor rips through me as I stroke my bunny’s tiny lifeless body.

I want it all to stop. I want off this ride.

I didn’t realize I was screaming and going into hysterics until Aunt Katherine came rushing into the room and had to pull me away from the cage while Tina covered it with a sheet. They both sat with me on my bed, trying to calm me down. Katherine made me chamomile tea and rocked me like a baby while I cried over my little rabbit that lived so much longer than most do, but still wasn’t long enough.

I feel safe having my aunt comfort me like my mother used to, so I let her instead of fighting it like I normally would. If I close my eyes and listen to her voice, it’s almost like Mom is here with me again, telling me everything is going to be okay, and she loves me with all the love in the world.

I cry until I have no more tears left, and then Katherine puts me on the phone with my father, who cries with me and offers to come be with me. But I tell him no. There’s no sense in disrupting his schedule and making him drive all the way out here, so I assure him I feel much better after having a good cry and I’m in good hands here at the Inn.

After Katherine leaves to prepare the mid-day snack for her guests, I fall asleep, exhausted from crying.

I dreamt that Toren came to me, the faint scent of his earthy cologne enveloping me in its familiarity as he gently brushes my hair from my face and presses his lips to my cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Angelcake,” he whispers.

“Tor?”

He’s here, sitting on the edge of my bed. Blinking, I expect him to vanish back into my dream, but he’s still here, big and incredibly masculine in this tiny room with its canopy bed and flowered curtains.

“You’re really here?” I push myself up to lean against the headboard, eyeing him, still expecting him to disappear.

If smiles could heal broken hearts, he definitely holds that magic. “Of course, I’m here. Your father called me after he talked to you.”

I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tight. I love this man without end. No matter what, I know that will never, ever change. He is my heart.

His muscular arms circle me, and he holds me until I slowly and very reluctantly pull away from the haven of his chest. “I’m so glad you came,” I say, reaching for a tissue from the box on my nightstand. I don’t want to cry anymore, but new bittersweet tears are already welling up behind my eyes.

“I loved her, too,” he says simply. “And I have something for you.”

He reaches into his worn leather jacket, and my mouth falls open as he pulls out Mopsy, my old, raggedy stuffed bunny that he gave me for my fifth birthday. I thought I had lost her and threw quite a tantrum, which led to him taking me to adopt Snuggles.

I slowly take the plush toy from him, confused as to how he has it after all these years. The ear is ripped, just like it was long ago, so I know this is definitely the same toy and not a similar one he found at a garage sale someplace.

“It’s my Mopsy… I thought she was gone. I totally forgot about her.”

“I know,” he nods, and a faint smile crosses his lips. “A few days after you lost it, I found her in the bushes by the front door of your house. It must have fallen out of your little backpack.” His smile turns into a disappointed frown. “I feel like shit that I didn’t give it to you, Kyra. I just wanted something of yours, I think. It’s been in my closet all this time. I know I’m an asshole—”

“No,” I stop him, my voice wavering. “You’re not. I totally understand.” I reach out and hesitantly touch his cheek, making him look at me. “I wanted your things, too. I always wanted some part of you to hold onto.”

“I guess I felt that about you, too.”

My heart hammers as we stare at each other, his dark gaze drifting from my eyes to my lips, then back again, debating. Struggling.

I hold my breath, waiting for him to kiss me again, feeling that intense undeniable pull. But instead, he grabs my hand from his cheek, quickly brushes his lips across my knuckles, and rests my hand on the bed, pulling his away.

“Kyra… I can’t.” His stormy eyes close and he shakes his head.

I nod and hug my stuffed toy against me, biting my lip to keep my tears at bay. He scoots closer to me on the bed, his leg pressing against mine through the thin quilt that’s covering me, and I want him closer. I want to know what it would feel like to mold my body up against his and fall asleep in his arms. I’m envious of my childhood me, who used to climb on his lap and nap with my head nestled between his shoulder and his neck.

“If it’s okay with you, I’m going to take Snuggles back to your house tonight, and I’m going to bury her next to your water fountain. And when you get back home, we can plant some flowers and get a special stone for her, okay?”

“You’d do that?” This incredibly sexy man, who must have better things to do, is going to drive almost six hours round trip to bury my pet bunny for me. Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly love him more, the space in my heart that is only for him doubles in size. I blink at him, teetering between bursting into tears again and wanting to kiss him madly. Is this my pseudo-uncle taking care of me, or is this a man who has feelings for me doing things that would make him the most awesome boyfriend in the world?

“That’s why I came here so fast. I thought you’d want her home.”