Chapter 27 THE WEAK OMEGA
SEBASTIAN'S POV
I press my face into my knees and cry until my chest aches and my throat burns and the world reduces to nothing around me.
Someone knows about my perverted drawings of Alpha Ragnar and is clearly threatening me.
I bit Alpha Ragnar till he bled and somehow I'm still in one piece so I don't know if I'm lucky or not.
The floor beneath me is cold like how I feel right now.
My arms wrap tighter around myself like I'm trying to hold the pieces of my sanity together.
My breathing is still uneven with stutters and sharp exhales and even that feels like too much effort for me.
Someone knows.
The thought circles endlessly in my mind like a cruel vulture pecking repeatedly at me.
Someone knows about the drawings.
About my thoughts.
About the way my hands and body shake when I imagine Alpha Ragnar’s mouth or his voice.
Someone saw them with the damning material in my cottage and saw proof.
They probably thought that it is a great sign that I'm doing and drawing things like this about the Alpha.
My gut twists violently inside me.
I retch gag and retch dryly, but nothing comes up.
There’s nothing left in me to expel.
I didn't eat today out of anticipation and now my body is paying for it.
ADULTEROUS WHORE.
The letters burn inside my eyes no matter how I try to shut them tightly.
I bit Alpha Ragnar until he bled.
The memory flashes uninvited in my mind. His hand was warm in mine, his skin breaking under Alisander’s teeth and the sharp metallic scent of blood.
I flinch violently as if understanding the gravity of what Alisander did.
I should be dead.
Any other Omega or any other wolf who dared lay hand or teeth in my case on an Alpha would have been torn apart without hesitation.
It would have been done in public and quite brutally.
They would have been publicly bitten to death by my diseased rogues kept in the dungeons to make an example of.
And yet I’m still here.
Breathing and whole.
I don’t know if that makes me lucky… or just condemned.
It looks like Alpha Ragnar was in a hurry earlier on so he probably had very important pack matters to attend to.
So what would happen when he remembers me?
The cottage is silent except for my breathing.
It's too silent.
I lift my head slowly, my eyes blinking through tears suddenly hyper aware of the space around me.
I'm in fear of every shadow and every creak I hear coming from outside my cottage.
I force myself to my feet on shaking legs.
The damage all over my house greets me all over again.
The overturned chair, the drawers ripped open and my paints sprawled all over the house.
My bed is torn apart like something searched beneath it with claws and impatience.
My heart lurches painfully.
“They know,” I repeat hoarsely. “Alisander–they know.”
Silence answers me before I can feel him.
“I know,” Alisander says quietly.
I laugh sharply.“You know, wait. You knew about this?! About this attack even before it happened?” My voice cracks.
“You knew about this and you didn’t think that it was important to tell me Alisander?”
“I didn’t know it would be like this. I didn't know they would go this far.”
“That’s not a suitable answer!”
I push myself up again, messily wiping at my face with the back of my sleeve. I look at the dagger again and at the way it pierces the image of Alpha Ragnar with deliberate cruelty.
“You said it had to be done,” I whisper. “You said you had your reasons.”
“I do.”
“Then tell me damn it!” I snap at him spinning away from the desk. “Tell me what reason justifies you knowing about this and not telling me!”
Alisander doesn’t respond immediately.
I feel his hesitation in the bond before he sighs.
Finally he speaks. “You are being noticed Shawn.”
My chest tightens. “I’ve always noticed I know people look at me weirdly, that's not new.”
“No.” His voice sharpens. “I mean you are being watched.”
The difference chills me.
I swallow hard. “By who?”
“By people who don't want Ragnar to get a mate. By people who fear Ragnar’s weakness.”
“Alpha Ragnar isn’t weak,” I say instantly, defending him.
Alisander’s presence is noticeable now. “He is where you are concerned.”
The words land like a slap to me.
I shake my head backing away until my shoulders hit the wall. “No. That’s not true–”
“You bit him,” Alisander cuts in. “And he let you live.
My throat closes.
“That wasn’t me,” I whisper.
“It was us. If he really didn't care about you, mate or not, your he'd would have been on a spike”
Silence stretches again.
Then Alisander’s voice lowers, rougher. “This is why I did it.”
“Did what?” My hands curl into fists. “Hurt him? You mean you biting him? Trying to provoke him and do something that could get us killed?”
“I did it to force the bond closer to the surface! You both were content on letting things remain as they are. I did it to protect you Sebastian!”
I laugh again, breathless and bitter. “By turning us into a target?”
“We already were, you just didn't know it because you were always stuck with your head in a drawing .”
I slide down the wall slowly until I’m sitting on the floor again.
“I never wanted this, you know,” I murmured. “I was content to only look at Alpha Ragnar and draw him. To just live quietly.”
Alisander softens just slightly. “And look where quiet got you. Congratulations on getting the Alpha I guess.”
The words sting because they’re not entirely wrong.
“I didn’t ask to be his mate,” I say.
“I didn’t ask to be connected to him on a deeper level and share this mate bond or his–his arousal.” Heat floods my face despite everything.
“I didn’t ask for any of it.”
“The Moon doesn’t ask.” he replies creepily.