Chapter 218
Casper's POV
I did remember. Too fucking well.
"People already whispered about me," I said, my voice rough. "When we were kids. Because I was... different."
Cassian's expression softened slightly. "I know."
"Mom wouldn't let me train with the other pups. Wouldn't let me play with them during the full moon runs." The memories came flooding back, bitter and sharp. "Because she was afraid. Afraid of what Leo might do. Afraid I'd hurt someone. So I stayed inside while everyone else learned to hunt, to fight, to be part of the pack."
My hands clenched into fists. "Do you know what that feels like? To be afraid of yourself? To see the other kids looking at you like you're some kind of monster? To hear them whisper—when they thought I couldn't hear—about the 'broken twin'? About how the Thornwood line was cursed?"
The words hung in the air between us. Cassian's jaw tightened, and I saw real pain flash across his face.
"I can't let that happen to our children," I said, my voice cracking. "I can't let them grow up hearing whispers about their mother. About whether she really wanted us, or if she was forced. About whether they're legitimate heirs or products of manipulation and lies."
Cassian nodded slowly. "That's why we have to do this. Why it has to look real enough that no one—not even Selene—questions it."
I wanted to argue. Wanted to find some other way. But deep down, I knew he was right. The thought made me feel like I was being torn apart from the inside.
"Why Sarah specifically?" I asked, even though part of me already knew the answer. "Why not someone else? Anyone else?"
Cassian's jaw tightened. "Because Sarah hates Elowen. And Elowen hates Sarah."
"So?"
"So if it's anyone else, there's a chance Elowen might forgive us eventually. Might understand it was necessary. Might even..." He paused, pain flickering across his face. "Might even be willing to stay and work through it."
Understanding crashed over me like a physical blow. "But with Sarah..."
"With Sarah, she won't be able to stand it," Cassian finished, and there was real grief in his voice now. "She'll be so hurt, so disgusted, so betrayed that she'll want to leave. Need to leave. She'll go with Ronan to meet the Lycan King. She'll be away from the pack, protected, somewhere no one can use her against us."
"And away from us," I added bitterly.
"Temporarily." But Cassian's voice wavered. "Just until we can figure out how to convince Selene—"
"You don't know if we can fix this," I interrupted. "You don't know if this is reversible. What if Elowen never forgives us? What if she finds someone else?"
The thought made Leo snarl in fury, made my wolf want to destroy everything in reach.
Cassian flinched. "She won't—"
"She might." I forced the words out past the agony in my chest. "The mate bond we're about to convince her is broken. The bond we're going to shatter by making her think we chose Sarah—Sarah—over her."
Cassian looked away, but not before I saw the devastation in his eyes.
"Sarah will make Elowen's life hell if she stays," he said quietly. "She'll flaunt it. Rub it in Elowen's face every chance she gets. Make it impossible for her to remain in this pack without constant pain and humiliation."
There was something in his voice—a deep, bottomless sadness that made my chest physically ache.
"That's the point, isn't it?" I said slowly. "You're not just trying to fool Selene. You're trying to make Elowen hate us so much that she runs. So she gets as far away from us as possible."
Cassian's silence was answer enough.
"Jesus Christ, Cassian." I sank down onto the edge of his bed, my legs suddenly unable to hold me. "We're going to destroy her. Completely destroy her."
"I know." His voice was barely audible. "Believe me, I know."
"This will break her heart," Leo said in my mind, and there was real fear in his voice. "Our mate. Our Elowen. The woman who looks at us like we hung the fucking moon. This will shatter her."
I know, I sent back, and I could feel tears burning behind my eyes. But what choice do we have?
No answer. Even Leo, for all his bravado and strength, had no solution to this nightmare.
I looked up at Cassian and saw he was struggling just as much as I was. His hands were shaking. Actually shaking. I'd never seen my twin lose his composure like this.
"How long have you been carrying this?" I asked quietly. "This plan?"
"Since Raven left. Since I understood what Selene's ultimatum really meant." He rubbed a hand over his face. "I've been trying to find another way, Casper. Any other way. But every scenario I run ends with Elowen or the twins in danger. This is the only path I can see where they all survive."
"Even if she never speaks to us again."
"Even then." Cassian met my eyes. "I'd rather live knowing she's safe and hating me than risk losing her completely. Or watching our children disappear because we weren't strong enough to do what needed to be done."
The weight of that settled over me. My brother—cold, calculating Cassian—was willing to sacrifice his own happiness, his own mate bond, everything... just to keep Elowen alive.
And he was asking me to do the same.
"I hate this," I whispered. "I hate every fucking part of this plan."
"I know." Cassian's voice was equally quiet. "So do I. But I can't see another way. Can you?"
I wanted to say yes. Wanted to have some brilliant alternative that would save everyone. But I couldn't. No matter how many times I turned it over in my mind, I came to the same conclusion Cassian had.
This was the only way.
"She's going to be devastated," I said, my voice breaking. "When she sees us with Sarah. When she thinks we chose that—that bitch over her. It's going to destroy her, Cassian."
"I know," he said again, and now I could hear the tears in his voice even though his face remained composed. "That's why I couldn't tell you before. I knew you'd react like this. I knew it would hurt you. But I need you with me on this, Casper. I can't do it alone."
"Neither can I," Zero's voice joined our conversation, speaking to both of us. "Cassian's been holding this burden by himself all night. Don't make him carry it alone anymore."