Chapter 11: The Myosotis

After school, Ryder decided to give the "Wooden Lord" bookstore a visit for interrogation reasons. Since she was alone, with Jasmine absent for the day, as soon as the last period ended, Ryder put on her headphones and made her way out of school. There was no one other than Jasmine who would take the initiative to talk to her, so she turned up the volume to the maximum, with no worry that someone would call her out and she wouldn't hear.

This idiot, of course, totally forgot about Aiden.

Aiden had been in a horrible mood since lunch. Even Greg who would never let any chance to tease him, didn't dare talk to him. Who knew if Aiden suddenly snapped and things took a bloody turn? He better not risk it.

When the bell rang for the ending of the last period, Aiden had rushed to Ryder. Today the damned chihuahua was nowhere to be seen. Why was he getting so mercilessly ignored? Aiden had figured out by now that Ryder was somewhat dense when it came to feelings. She failed to notice his flirting and his tireless tries to get closer to her. Even though this made her appear innocent and cute, Aiden was annoyed beyond words. Okay, she's dense… but why to this extant for the love of God? Is it that hard to understand his intentions? This girl clearly liked him, but had a weird way of showing it. She was too passive and didn't even flirt back.

When Aiden noticed Ryder walking down the hallways, he called her name, but the girl didn't even turn her head. After the third or the fourth time calling her name, Aiden decided he would approach her another way. He wouldn't follow his original plan of 'from strangers to friends, from friends to lovers'. From now on he would skip the whole 'friend' thing at all.

After he came to this decision, Aiden shoved people out of his way and without the slightest hesitation grabbed Ryder's hand. The latter didn't expect anyone to even touch her, let alone grab her hand. Knowing very well it wasn't Jasmine, for some reason Ryder thought it was Midnight, who had finally decided to come to light. This thought didn't even last one second, but that second was enough to throw her into a turmoil, her cheeks flushing bright red at this thought that seemed to most likely come from her heart than her mind. But this only made her feel even more confused and the blushing darkened a few shades.

This got worse when she noticed it was Aiden who was holding her hand with a dazzling smile on his face. The feelings in her heart were too much to bear. Disappointment, excitement, sadness, happiness…they were clashing and colliding in such a way, Ryder was temporarily stunned and just blankly stared at Aiden, her brain resembling a blank white sheet.

Aiden, this poor guy who didn't know what he had gotten himself into with his decision of pursuing Ryder, confidently thought that her reaction was purely because of her shyness and his mood improved.

Boy…if only you knew….

"I will drive you home." He said, failing to notice the headphones in Ryder's ears.

The girl still hadn't come to her senses. The music had turned into mere background music as she looked at Aiden with slightly widened eyes, so when she saw him move his lips, but she couldn't hear him, Ryder thought she went deaf.

Aiden rolled his eyes seeing that the girl looked still dumbfounded and pulled off one of the headphones. His smile didn't leave his faze not even for a second. "I will drive you home." He repeated.

Ryder finally snapped out of it and unconsciously a small smile softened her cognac eyes. "I'm not going home."

"Oh?”

Ryder took a step forward, intending to keep walking, but Aiden refused to let go of her hand and just looked at her with his brows slightly furrowed in disappointment. The cognac eyes fell on the interlocked hands. Suddenly her stomach was feeling weird.

"I'm going to the "Wooden Lord" bookstore."

"Why?” Aiden asked with a light tone while, still refusing to let go of her hand, walked by her side as if this was the most normal thing in the world. Ryder on the other hand was feeling quite conflicted. She had never held hands with anyone before. That is, of course, if you don't count her parents. This felt kind of weird…

Then she remembered how she had grabbed Midnight's hand last night out of the blue, how the young man had struggled free from her grasp and ran away… The state of her heart which was already in turmoil, turned worse.

“I have something to do. I want to ask the worker there a few questions."

Aiden asked why just for the heck of it. For what else than buying books, would anyone go to a bookstore, for God's sake? However, Ryder's answer took him by surprise. As always, this girl never failed to surprise him. Now he was curious. "I will come with you then."

He smiled so sincerely; Ryder didn't have the heart to refuse.

And so. the two droves to the bookstore. Inside the store were a few people, young and old, a soft piano melody echoed through the place from the speakers, this melody and the sound of the pages being the only thing being heard. The atmosphere put a lazy smile on Ryder's lips, making her face look kinder, gentler…

She didn't bother looking for anyone in particular. It's not like she would recognize the man she was looking for. However, Ryder listened carefully to every sound in the bookstore, anxiously hoping to pick up a certain voice. Aiden on the other hand, just followed her behind with a somewhat curious expression on his face. A bitter feeling of irritation arose in his heart. Who was this worker Ryder wanted to talk to? He better not have any feelings for Ryder…

Yet, Ryder approached a young girl. The irritation in his heart dispersed, the furrow between his brows disappearing and a pleased smile plastered on his face.

When the worker saw Ryder, she immediately scowled in her heart. "Why did you come back?”

Ryder ignored the rude tone of hers and got right into the point. "I want to ask you a few questions." It took her a lot of balls to speak so quietly, to sound as if the rude tone didn't affect her at all. But who would have thought that the worker would ignore her, her eyes fixing on Aiden who was standing behind her, picking a random book and leisurely flipping the pages? The worker stared at Aiden for a few seconds, looking lost as if lost in a trance.

For some reason this angered Ryder. Maybe it was because she was shamelessly staring at Aiden or because she was being ignored. No matter the reason, Ryder, who a minute ago felt awkward because of the worker's attitude, found it easier to demand answers from her now that she was fueled by anger. "Can you describe me the man from yesterday?”

The worker came back to her senses. Her line of sight returned at Ryder, this time the scowl not remaining only on her heart. This girl… how dare she come here and ask about him? "Why should I tell you?” The worker had a rather boring life. The job in the bookstore was boring, school was tiresome, and her love life was pretty pitiable. The only thing she looked forward to was the random appearance of that young man. Why would she want to share him with this weirdo who didn't even know how he looked like? Why was she even looking for him?

"I need to know." Ryder refused to retreat no matter how much the worker scowled at her.

On the other hand, the irritation that had just dispersed from Aiden's heart, appeared again the moment he heard Ryder asked the worker about a man. What man? Why was she interested about some other man when he was here, right in front of her? Is this girl also blind?

"If you don't have anything to buy, please leave." The worker waved her hand at Ryder, rudely dismissing her.

What is wrong with people these days? Why are they all trying to be mysterious? Just spill the beans already! Ryder was running out of patience. She kept pestering the worker, but she still refused to say anything. It was just Ryder's bad luck that this girl happened to have a crush on her Midnight.

In the end she couldn't get anything out of this and gloomily left the bookstore. Aiden followed her behind and with repressed irritation casually asked her. "Who is this man you are looking for?”

Ryder was grieving for her high hopes that turned to dust due to a stubborn someone who was being unreasonable for no reason. She was in a daze when Aiden asked her and couldn't understand the question. Acting like an old dying DELL laptop with RAM problems, Ryder 'oh’-ed when she understood and shrugged. What could Ryder possibly tell Aiden?

"I don't know."

You don't know? What was this answer? She didn't know who she was looking for? What kind of situation was this? Aiden suddenly felt like dealing with his mental big brother back at home was easier than trying to understand how Ryder's brain worked.

“Then why are you looking for him?”

Ryder just turned red, back at the tomato-with-eyes mode. Either she lied or not, she would for sure sound crazy. It was unavoidable. Mentally cursing herself to death, Ryder bit her tongue as a punishment in advance for what she was going to say.

"He had a nice voice?”

Now, Aiden definitely felt that having his older brother throwing a tantrum on top of the fridge was more understandable than this girl's actions and that says a lot.

Ryder: Just kill me already. I don't want to leave with this shame.

***

Even though what happened back in the bookstore angered Ryder to death and crushed all the high hopes she had for finally getting an accurate idea of how Midnight looked like, by the time the sun sank into the horizon, she had waved away all this dark feeling. All was left, unexpectedly, was anticipation.

By this time the backyard had already started to look more decent, the first steps to transforming it into a garden, already taken. Henry helped her earlier to plant the grass seeds, using this opportunity to take credits later when the garden was finished. Seeing that she would need his help later on, Ryder had long since tolerated this childish behavior of her father. The original idea of the garden being her gift to her mother, turned to THEIR gift to Michelle. Since Henry was paying and helping, it was only fair to do so.

Yet, Henry couldn't understand why his daughter was developing such a bad habit of staying in the backyard until late at night every single night. He didn't feel anything was wrong though, and didn't ponder over it too much.

When he returned inside the house to sleep, Ryder remained in the backyard. Once she made sure her father was gone, she went inside the kitchen and picked up the junk food she had bought in her way home and brought it out in the backyard.

The cognac eyes roamed around the backyard for a few minutes, her slender fingers pinching her lower lip as she thought, then finally deciding, Ryder grabbed an old blanket from the garage and laid it down on the ground near the fence. Then she sat there, leaned against the fence and waited patiently.

After last night conversation, Ryder's heart couldn't help but soften for the stranger who didn't feel like a stranger anymore. Without realizing it she was anticipating his arrival, looking forward to it. Without noticing it she had accepted him as her friend in her heart. Without noticing it, Ryder cared about him falling into a pit she wouldn't be able to escape later. How could Ryder Quin who was indeed too dense when it came to her feelings, understand that affection could be born so easily? It had started with curiosity, then developed to worry for the guy's well-being. Afterwards she wholeheartedly cared about him, wanting to protect him from that darkness he was scared of but didn't know how.

To find out how, Ryder had decided to get to know him better. She wanted to know more about Midnight. Not his identity. That, she would find it out herself. However, Ryder wanted to know his heart and mind by the time she found out who he is. The heart of the young man had nothing to do with his identity. To Ryder, his heart and thoughts were who he was, and his identity was just a mere face and name that had turned into a sore spot she couldn't help herself but poke.

When light footsteps approached, the soft steps matching the girl’s heartbeat, Ryder didn't bother moving a muscle. Unconsciously a smile had crawled up her face, the cognac eyes resembling two warm and bright fires that softened her features, making her appear like a small kitten standing by the fire.

Ryder didn't make any noise until Midnight leaned against the fence and searched the backyard for her, his head moving from right to left. The light bulb right above her head made it even more difficult to see his face, not that she was trying to see it anyway. She had set her mind to find it out herself. Stealing glimpses would mean cheating.

The corner of her lips lifted into a small mischievous smile as she waited for Midnight to search for her. Only when she heard him sigh in disappointment, did she decide to speak. Her head raised towards the young man's face, her eyes looking at his figure that was hidden both by lightness and darkness. "If you were a flower, what flower would you be?”

Midnight, who had just breathed out a sigh of disappointment upon not seeing Ryder in the backyard, was about to turn around and leave, suddenly feeling blue. Yet right then, the silvery voice of the girl came from below. His eyes widened in surprise as he looked down at the other side of the fence. Under the light of the light bulb his line of sight met the warm cognac eyes of the girl, the fire in them seeming to melt him in a puddle, her smile emitting even more warmth. That warmth swallowed him whole, his heart started to beat faster, his cheeks turned red, and for a second Midnight forgot to worry if Ryder could see his face or not. He forgot to worry, to breath, he was utterly stunned. Unwillingly, he forced himself to come back to his senses.

Midnight leaned against the fence and looked down at Ryder, covering the half of his face not hidden by the hood with his hand. "Why are you asking such a thing?”

Ryder lowered her head and grabbed a bag of chips and opened it. She dug her hand in and shrugged. "I will buy flowers and flower seeds in a few days."

"What does that have to do with your question?”

"I will buy and plant the flower you tell me." Ryder filled her mouth with chips and then as if she found something funny, she giggled. "I will name it Midnight in your honor and take care of it."

Midnight truly didn't know how to feel about this. All he knew in those moments was that his heart was restless, but it filled him with an unexpectedly nice feeling. It tasted sweeter than honey and warm like a gentle fire that kept him warm but didn't burn him. He was so lost in that feeling, that what Ryder said afterward almost made him trip and fall.

"Come sit here." Ryder patted the blanket.

Lost at words, Midnight could only mutter one word. "What?”

"You always stand behind the fence. It tires me only by seeing you. Jump over the fence and sit by my side. Don't worry, I won't try to see your face." Ryder smiled at him and then as if to assure Midnight, she extended her pinky finger at him. "I pinky promise."

Stunned, Midnight stared at her hand, recalling how soft and warm her touch was last night, and couldn't help but blush again. "You know what a pinky promise means, don't you?”

“It means that if I break my promise, you can cut off my pinky finger."

Midnight chuckled. "I didn't mean that. No need to turn things so dark." Still, he interlocked their pinky fingers and then skillfully jumped over the fence. His eyes seized Ryder, studying her expression as if trying to find any trace of eager curiosity that would make her pull off his hood, but the girl was happily eating her chips, waiting patiently for him to sit.

His heart felt weird seeing her behave like this. Midnight had thought Ryder would forever keep that fence between them. For her to get rid of that distance out of the blue… Midnight was filled with joy, yet still a bit hesitant.

Ryder waited until he sat two feet away from her, then asked him again. "So, what flower would you be?”

Midnight ignored her question. "What would you be?”

"A Pansy." Ryder answered without hesitation, a proud grin on her face.

"Why?”

Ryder shrugged. She extended the bag of chips at Midnight and waited until he picked the chips and put them in his mouth before answering. "They're cute. The look like little grumpy dwarves."

The response sounded so childish; Midnight broke into a soft smile. Ryder looked at him with the corner of her eyes and felt satisfied with herself. The dim light coming from the light bulb was more than enough to see the young man's physique. He was wearing plain jeans, a dark hoodie, the hood of which was thrown over his head hiding most of his face, only the fair skin of his jaw and a pair of pink lips could be seen. Over the hoodie, Midnight was wearing a dark jacket, his hands deep in his pockets. When he took the chips, Ryder saw the little mole on his thumb and unconsciously smiled.

"A Myosotis." Midnight's deep and soothing voice made Ryder take her eyes off his hand.

"Huh?”

"If I was a flower, I would be a Myosotis."

"What flower is that?”

The corner of his lips just lifted in a small smirk, as he leaned his head against the fence. When he spoke, his voice sounded sad. "A small doleful flower."

Ryder's stomach turned when she heard that. Every night, Midnight would say something like this. A sentence that was filled so much sadness and sorrow and grief, it made her heart go numb. Why would he compare himself to a "doleful" flower? Ryder decided to google that flower later when she goes back to her room. A sudden urge to hold his hand overwhelmed her, but after recalling his reaction last night, Ryder didn't dare touch him.

"You're friendlier tonight." Midnight muttered, but Ryder heard him clear. "Why?”

Instead of answering right away, Ryder put down her chips and stared at her feet. "You asked me to give you some time and that you would tell me who you are yourself when you're ready. I agreed. I said I won't try to see your face. I will wholeheartedly be your friend. So, let's make a deal."

Midnight looked at Ryder from underneath the hood and couldn't tell apart the feelings that were eating him whole, devouring his whole being. He was scared and hopeful, anxious, vexed, happy, satisfied, terrified… how could a human feel so many things at the same time? He felt like a bottle being eagerly and fiercely filled with so many different liquids, he was about to crack and break but not willing to spill a single drop.

It took a lot of efforts for his voice to sound steady. "What deal?”

"From now on, let me know your heart so when the time you tell me who you are comes, this friendship won't be ruined."

Midnight trembled slightly hearing those words, but Ryder was still staring at her feet and didn't notice it. He hesitated for a moment and bit down on his thumb. "What if you are disappointed when you find out who I am?”

"I won't be." Ryder said with confidence.

"How can you be so sure?”

This time, Ryder turned her head at Midnight, her cognac eyes fixed at him. Even though she couldn't see his face, Midnight felt as if her gaze could see right into his soul.

"Because I want to believe so. "