Chapter 51

"That was emotionally exhausting and freeing. At long last she gets to pay for her crimes. Now that, that is out of the way, I would like Chaos to come upfront. She wishes to share something with us before this hearing is brought to an end. Darling, come on up" Councilman said whiles looking in my direction.

I made swift work of going upfront before clearing my throat to address the pack,

"Um... Hi... Yes I am alive and I have dreaded this day ever since I was awakened. I worried over what to say or what choices to make and it made me realize that being here is not what u really want. The last place I want to be right now, is here in this pack.

I was murdered by one of your own and someone would probably ask why I am making a big deal out of it since I am still alive. Well, fact is, I really did die and I had to go through an awakening to be reborn and as fancy as that sounds, it's not.

The three weeks that you spent mourning was actually five years in my home realm. Five years of pain, anger, rage, sorrow and loss. Five years ago when Tricia put a hit on my head and had me killed, I was actually pregnant. I was too stressed dealing with River's infidelity that I didn't notice. I didn't realize I was pregnant and it cost me alot.

The awakening had consequences and I paid a heavy price for it. I lost a part of my soul and my identity as a person but that was not the most painful part. I lost a son. I look at Xavier everyday and I am remembered of what I lost.

What could have been if none of this shit happened?

I lost my other son and Xavier lost his other half, his twin brother. He was sacrificed just so I could live. He died because someone else wanted my mate for herself.

He wouldn't get to crawl, or learn how to walk. There will be no first words. No measuring of how fast he will be growing. No future for my son because the dead always stay dead.

There are no do overs for them. Today, I stand before you as a grieving mother, not for my mate but for my sons who were caught in the crossfire of something they had no idea of.

You know, the sad part is that, I didn't get to even hold him. Not even once because he was liquedated into blood and evicted out of me as if he meant nothing. Like he didn't deserve to live at all.

I can see the looks of pity on your faces and it's not really necessary. All you can do is empathize because you have not gone through half of what I had to go through. You will never know what it's like to lose a son.

I had wanted to tell River in private, where he could take it but I realized he didn't deserve it. He has run out of chances like our son got none. Just because he chose a mistress over our mate bond. Over a life together. Over the family that we could have built together.

After Xavier was born, I thought of never seeing you and this pack again. Ever since I have been back, this place has felt like a foreign land. A stranger in an unknown land. One I don't belong in because this pack reminds me of all that I have lost and the reasons why I lost them.

River, I have thought of tearing you apart so many times in my head that I started contemplating which was real and which wasn't.

I have thought several times of leveling this pack to the very ground but the mother in me, the Luna I could have been and the alpha I was born as reasoned that you lot did not deserve to pay for crimes you didn't commit. Like my son did. I am giving you the chance he never got.

Moreover, I have thought of so many ways to make you pay River but none of them felt adequate and as I heard you answer your questions, I realized one thing.

I was giving you too much importance. I realized that yes my son is dead. I can grieve for him but you don't deserve my grieve. You don't deserve a thought in my head, my time, my heart and most of all, my life.

In as much as you do not deserve my forgiveness, I Forgive You River. Not for your sake but mine. I need my life back. My peace of mind and I can't move on whiles holding a grudge against you.

I leave you to your conscience and fate. Let them deal with you in whatever way they see fit. I don't really care.

Finally, I wash my hands clean of this pack. I thought I could do this but I need to rebuild my life without you on the fence so after this hearing, I am going back to where it all began.

My mother's pack. The pack I should have never left. I am telling you not because I want to give you hope for rebuilding any kind of relationship between us but because, apart from wanting to stick my claws into your chest to rip out your heart and then tear you apart to tiny unrecognizable pieces, I really want nothing to do with you.

I am telling you of my location because of Xavier. Whiles I am sure there are men more than capable of helping me raise him, fact remains that you are his father and nothing I do is going to change that...

So I guess it's goodbye River. Stay out of my way because I really do not know why I am forgiving you at this moment but I do know that the next time we cross paths again, I might not be this stupid to forgive you."

I walked off without a backwards glance at anyone knowing this was really big news to everyone even my family. I kept all this to myself for five years because I wasn't ready to share my story but now I am and I have.

I had just stepped out of the room when I heard River's roar and an answering one from my father and brothers.

Well, not my problem anymore...

***

Everyone sat with mouths wide open, tears trailing down their faces or rage bubbling in their chests. No one expected this and it hit them harder than they ever expected.

How can something so perfect be ruined by the injustice of life. Paying for the consequences and sins of your leaders is really a pain in the add but that is just how life is.

Cruel and totally unfair.

One by one, all the wolves raised their heads and howled to the moon. Calling unto the moon goddess for comfort. River's was the last to be heard and it was the most sorrowful and heart wrenching sound to have ever been heard.

You could hear the pain, regret and repentance resonating from it but it was a tad bit too late. He made mistakes... Yes but now he has to man up and face the consequences. He made his bed and now he must lay in it.

Fin...

***SPECIAL NOTE,

Thanks to each and everyone who stayed with this book till the very end. I really appreaciate and i hope you enjoyed it. See you in the next series. Love, Iam_blvqheart.*