Chapter 134: She was Beautiful

She was beautiful.

She was so beautiful beneath the falling rain. She was so beautiful standing by her locker in the morning, as if she were waiting for him with quiet hope. She was so beautiful when she slept beside him. She was so beautiful when she smiled shyly during their first dance. She was so beautiful beneath the glittering city lights on the night they walked together. She was so beautiful when she appeared between her father and cousin as Gaara came to pick her up under the moonlight. She was so beautiful when she told Gaara about the list of festival street foods she recommended he try once they arrived.

“I’ve never been to any festival before,” was Gaara’s response when Esther asked which food interested him the most after she enthusiastically explained everything to him. “You should just pick for me.”

Her eyes lit up right away, and she was so beautiful as she linked her arm with his and pulled him into the crowd already enjoying the festival.

She was so beautiful in her simple evening dress especially when she whispered to Gaara as they playfully visited a fortune teller who described their relationship. As if all of it were a secret made just for the two of them.

Gaara no longer cared about reality. He had stopped trying to analyze everything whether from Esther’s perspective or from Vinson’s. He no longer cared how he looked in Esther’s eyes what she heard from his lips or how his behavior might reveal what he already knew behind her back. He had stopped questioning and stopped trying to deny anything at all.

“You want ketchup or mayo?” Esther asked as they stood in line at the hotdog stall. And in Gaara’s mind Nelsy’s voice kept echoing “Yeah Gaara it’s true.”

It was true…

After Nelsy’s confirmation Gaara could only let out a long breath and he spent the entire week doing the same. He even sighed silently in his head every time he watched Esther’s life continue to spin around him. Gaara now found himself following Esther’s every desire. He smiled when she smiled he laughed when she laughed. He returned her kisses with just as much longing. Gaara would be lying if he said he wasn’t waiting for Esther to finally tell him the truth.

But during that wait the moment never came.

Every day Gaara went home exhausted beyond measure after enduring Esther’s smiles and laughter that felt like a slow form of torture. Because he was constantly haunted by one question beneath it all… whether those smiles were sincere or not. Whether they were for him or not or whether they were meant for Gaara or for her peaceful future without Vinson.

Elise had already told him the truth. The girl had been honest. And Nelsy had given her testimony too. There was nothing left for Gaara to do. Even now, he tried to avoid Vinson because he knew his friend would say the same thing. Gaara understood why Vinson had felt bold enough to make a bet with Esther using him as the subject. Vinson probably never imagined Gaara would actually fall in love. He must have believed Gaara had no heart left to lose after going through something similar in the past with Grace.

Only Esther, among all of them, refused to say what was real. Esther who was so beautiful not just because of her flawless face but because of her kindness and the way she could be gentle and firm at once and that alone had reached Gaara’s heart. She lit up the darkest and deepest corners inside him the places he never knew existed until she arrived in his life.

Gaara had broken down everything that happened between them piece by piece using every bit of logic he had. He pushed aside his feelings so he could see clearly whether what she did came from sincerity or if it was nothing but lies.

Every night Gaara cursed himself until he fell asleep. He cursed himself because without realizing it he had trusted everything he heard and everything he saw with his own eyes even though in the end those things contradicted each other. Esther was a liar. Esther was sincere.

I love you Gaara.

Maybe that was his curse. That no one would ever truly love him because it had happened again and again until Gaara felt sick of himself.

A rapid burst of explosions echoed across the night sky. Gaara and Esther looked up fireworks in different colors bursting into light. Esther squealed with excitement and pulled Gaara toward a spot where the view would be even better.

They reached the far back. No one else was around. Gaara didn’t know how Esther even found the place. All he knew was that he was watching her face glowing like a child’s as she looked up at the fireworks above their heads.

She was so beautiful.

Feeling his gaze Esther smiled at him. “I’ve never seen fireworks this close before,” she whispered. “From now on and forever every time I see fireworks I’m gonna think of you Gaara.” Her face turned bright red as a red firework burst overhead.

Forgive me Mother.

Gaara turned to face Esther.

She was so beautiful as her eyes blinked in surprise. “Gaara?”

Nelsy’s voice kept whispering in his head every time Gaara looked at Esther’s face.

Above them the fireworks kept bursting.

But now Esther turned to face him and Gaara thought she was a liar. A girl who staged everything. Someone who wanted Gaara’s heart just so she could tear it apart whenever she pleased. Someone unworthy of being the downfall of Gaara Maxwell.

“You okay Gaara?” Esther asked. Her voice was full of worry.

She was so beautiful.

In the few seconds Gaara needed to find his voice something holding back his feelings broke and everything flooded in at once. Anger. Shock. Hatred sparked by the sudden shattering of his pride at the hands of the two people he cared about most. His resentment toward Vinson, toward Esther, toward Nelsy… and toward himself. A massacre of emotion behind his silence all week since learning that her smile every kindness every bit of beauty in her soul had been nothing more than a strategy to win her game with Vinson.

Not once had Gaara asked Esther for her version of the bet between them. He never told her he already knew. He kept wondering if she would ever choose to tell him the truth. The only reason he hadn’t confronted her was fear. He was afraid he would snuff out the warmth glowing in her smile and make her run from him instantly.

To him Esther was a question that had never been answered and maybe never would be. When her hair was swept by the wind brushing across her cheek when the shimmer in her eyes glowed like a guiding star Gaara knew she was the answer he’d been searching for.

And now he was ready.