Chapter 24

I woke with a start. Someone was pounding on the door like there was a fire somewhere close. Gabriel grumbled all the way to answer it. He rarely sleeps and when that happens, he likes to wake by himself, not like this.

He would be in a foul mood all day. I snickered; a pouting Gabriel is something worth all of this headache I’m getting right now. I yawned and stretched my body, loving the way the breeze caressed my naked flesh.

We have been used to go to bed like this, after some rough, playful nights and it became our routine so far. These few days have been my best since mom has left. It has been a full month now and we talk mostly every night, but she has been busy with her course and the work she could do alongside, but I’m happy for her.

Last night, she looked happy and radiant, even though I can clearly see how tired she was. Finally, she was able to do something for herself and I’m not an obstacle which I was through my existence in her life. I’m her burden without meaning to.

Michael’s unsure voice made me sober from my deep thoughts. I put on a rose silk robe and joined them beside the door; he gave me a sad look and refused to meet my eyes.

“Speak Michael, what kind of news are you talking about?” Gabriel’s fed-up voice was sharp like a knife. I slipped my hands around his waist and looked at the sweaty doctor expectantly.

“If it is about work, I can leave you alone to discuss it. It’s ok, really.” I smiled at him, trying to ease some of the tension that formed around his face. He raised his eyes to me, and I frowned at the compassionate look he was giving me.

I tightened my hands around Gabriel. My body was threatening to falter, and I felt I was going to fall. The atmosphere in the narrow space began to close around me. Something bad happened, and it was related to me.

I felt it deep into my bones. Gabriel gave me a look and stood silently beside me. Michael took a couple of steps toward me and his hand clutched my shoulder tightly.

“I’m sorry Ariel, I just found out about it half an hour ago. After I finished my rounds and the nurses were talking I…… I’m so sorry.” My stomach lurched and my breath hitched. I forced my dry mouth to work.

“Who?” This is what came out. I couldn’t formulate more words. Michael’s eyes gave me another sad look before speaking.

“It is Rose. They found her dead in your house tonight before dawn. The neighbors called the police when they heard…..”

I fell to the floor not hearing another word. All I understood was that my mom was dead now. She has left me. My body seized and fought for breath. Someone crouched beside me and another voice talked, but I was oblivious to all of it.

I had talked to her a few hours ago; she laughed and teased me about a fine black doctor working with her, and how she wanted to stay more. She told me she would be back in thirty days and she has missed me a lot.

My chest contracted, and I gasped. My tears fell freely on my face and I clutched my left side and then pummeled it hard. I can’t breathe and my vision blurred; I fought it for a second but then stopped. Why would I? I have nothing to live for now, I have no one; she has left me.

Willingly or not, she has left. I’m all by myself now.

Someone’s face appeared right into my space; shaky hands grasped each side of my face.

“Baby, please breathe. Look at me Ariel, look at me, love. BREATHE.” I looked at Gabriel’s pale face. I don’t know how I saw it clearly through the haze that surrounded my mind and eyes. He looked scared. I sobbed and fought for breath again.

“Gabriel, give her some space, let her breathe. She is in shock. Let me help her.” There was a harsh tug and my face turned sharply to the side and I saw someone’s foggy face.

“I’m sorry Ariel.” The person said and then there was a harsh slap to my right side. I gasped when the air crowded my empty chest and whizzed hard. Gabriel’s still shaky hands caressed my abused cheek.

“Ariel, talk to me. Tell me you are ok please.” He held my upper body to his chest and hugged me. I sobbed this time loudly, my body shaking from each tremor that wracked me.

“She left me. She lied. She said she would be here at the end of this month. She left me. I’m all alone.”

Other voices around us registered in my misty mind, but I didn’t care. I was on the floor, mostly naked, a mess and I didn’t care. My mind was fixated on one thought. She died and I’m alone. Gabriel whined like a hurt animal. If it was another time, I would have laughed.

“You are not alone, Ariel. we all are your family.” He buried his face in my neck and whispered.

“I’m so sorry. It is my fault. This is because of me. I have ruined your life. I’m a monster.” I froze for a second, yes it was his fault. He is the reason that she died. He is the reason my friend had betrayed me.

Yes, it is all on Gabriel. Right? I burrowed deep into his embrace and cried, no it isn’t his fault. It is mine. I helped him and then allowed him and his problems into my life. I killed my mother because of my stupid decisions. I’m the monster, not him.

“She is gone.” I wailed again and this time I thrashed between Gabriel’s arms and pushed him away. He wasn’t prepared for the amount of strength in my push and fell backward.

I sat on my knees, eyes wild, looking around me. Looking at all the people watching me fall apart, and screamed, my hands tugging sharply on my hair and scratching at my skin.

“No, that’s a lie, she is alive.” I looked at each one of them begging anyone to say yes she is alive and that was just a bad dream but nothing happened.

“No, you are lying, all of you. Nooooo.” Gabriel gripped me again and there was a sharp prickle. I faced Gabriel’s watery eyes.

“She is alive. She must be. She promised me, Gabriel.” I said, then my entire world went black.

I opened my eyes to glaring lights and people murmuring quietly; I closed them quickly because the light and the pounding headache that formed behind my eyes wouldn’t allow me to see clearly.

“Is she going to be ok?” Gabriel’s concerned voice cut through the haze of my mind. After a short period of silence, Michael replied.

” I think so. She is young and strong. The shock was so much for her but some sleep will do her well.” Warm fingers wrapped around my hand.

” I can’t lose her, Michael. I just can’t. If something happened to her, I won’t survive it.” My heart ached for him. His voice was full of pain and despair.

“She will be fine brother, don’t worry, we can take her to the hospital to stay under observation if you want.” Gabriel kissed my forehead softly.

“I don’t know what I should do Michael. I feel so helpless.”

I tried to open my eyes again, but I couldn’t. This time, it felt like my eyelids were glued together. Michael shuffled closer to the bed.

“Now we need to think about What are we going to do? Rose’s funeral, the paperwork, Ariel is her only relative. She is the only person who can do all of this, and looking at her now, she won’t be able to do any of that. She is so fragile.” Gabriel sighed.

“Can I do anything?” Michael mimicked his brother’s sigh.

“Unfortunately, you are not a relative Gab, we are nothing to them. We are not blood-related or there is any type of marital relationship between us. And my hands are tied, brother. Doctor or not, it is a body related to a murder. There are investigations and suspects. It is the whole deal brother.” There was a quiet thud, and the bed moved under me.

“Fuck, I don’t want her to go through all of this.” There was a faint knock on the bedroom door, and two voices joined the conversation.

“How could something like this happen and under our noses, explain to me?” There was no reply, but after a moment of hesitation, Theo talked.

“We didn’t watch the house because Ariel was here and her mother was on a business trip. Who would have thought that she would come to surprise her daughter?” Gabriel talked again with a bite to his words.

“Who did it? We need some answers.” Michael spook this time.

“She was murdered brother; someone stabbed her twice in the chest and once in the neck. This wasn’t just a petty theft attempt or an armature work. This person knew what he was doing and did it quickly. I got a call from the hospital half an hour ago. The coroner’s report said there was some struggle on her behalf, but the male who attacked her was double her size and weight. She didn’t have a chance against him. The neighbors said they heard some crashing noises and muffled screams. That is why they called the cops, but it was too late, fortunately.” I swallowed the rising bile hard, trying not to gag. My poor mother has suffered.

“I think it was Giovanni or Alessio. it must be one of them, but why?” The bed dipped and I felt Gabriel’s warmth next to me.

“He thought she was Ariel. He wanted to hurt her so in return it would hurt me, but I guess he was surprised by Rose so he killed her instead.” Someone hummed.

“It makes sense.”

I opened my eyes, finally able to, and looked at Gabriel’s side profile; he looked worn out and tired. There were some dark circles forming under his eyes. I tried to talk, but my throat was clogged, so I cleared it harshly.

“I want to see her.” Four faces stared at me in surprise. Gabriel held my hand softly.

“Who love? What do you want? Tell me.” I focused on him.

“Mom, I want to see her.” Michael moved and held my other hand in his warm one.

“You will, but not now. You need to get some rest.” I shook my head vigorously.

“No, now take me to her.” I slipped my hands and moved my weak body and stood, or at least tried to. It was harder than I thought. Gabriel stood, supporting me.

“Let’s wait for tomorrow, you are exhausted right now.” I shook my head, my eyes teared again.

“Please, I want to see her. No, I need to. Please.” I pleaded again and this time he nodded, his jaw clenched and his face grim.

“Ok, but promise me that you won’t repeat what happened this morning.” I nodded silently, afraid that my voice would betray me. He held me tightly to his body and addressed Leo and Theodor.

“Get everything ready. We will move in ten minutes.”

I hiccupped as silent as I could, worried that if he saw me already crumbling, he would change his mind again and I won’t be able to see my mom. This was my last chance to be with her, so I needed to be strong just a little bit longer.

I can fall apart again after doing this. I don’t even know if I would be able to see her so lifeless. She was always vibrant and colorful. My mother was a warm ray of sunshine, so alive.

I sucked a long breath to hide my sob. Just fight it a little longer and then let it all go.