We crouch at the seat beside Ellie's bed at the hospital who is fast asleep.
After that horrendous fiasco back at home, I had to rush here to the hospital and check on her and Ellie while Mr McCall had to stay back and wait for the police and watch over Grego. I left their family doctor already attending to Grego's wounds. That was the best option.
To be honest, this is the most disastrous and awful day of my life. From finding out that my mother is my malignant rival now, to confronting her which left me almost shuttered, to witnessing Jerol nearly killing someone, and what stings the most, him walking out on me like he did not want me close to him at all. He left as if I was an alien that he did not recognize at all. Like he did not even want to rest his sight on me even for a second. Like, like he was so pissed off with me.
"Don't worry, my dear! I am sure he just needed to cool some steam off for a while. He will come around. You will see." Mrs McCall consoles. Honestly, these few last hours she has been my solace.
I am more comfortable around her today more than ever. She feels like a mother today. A beautiful feeling that is stroking me with the sweetest sensation I have ever felt for Gracia. I am getting addicted to it already. If life gives a chance, which it must give, I wouldn't mind giving her a chance to be a mother to a daughter she didn't have. That way, I can also bask in the rhapsodic feeling of knowing the feeling of having a loving mother.
Come to think of it, we both have something in common. She yearns to be a mother to a daughter, and I yearn to be a daughter I never was to my own mother. And since we have consigned our beefs to the grave, and since I can also see the gravity of her sincerity in her, then nothing is holding us back from bonding and getting a kick out of this second chance that life has given us, right?
Right!
Jerol is the problem now. I do not know why he acted that way towards me and it stings real bad. My heart is throbbing with pains and my head with unanswered doubts.
"But mother, it hurts so much! Watching him wander away from me like that hurts even more than anything else." I sob. This has really wrecked my heart. The fact that he hasn't even called to ask where I am is another bucket of chilling agonies squirting on me.
Doesn't he care anymore? What happened to "I need you close by all the time"? Where is he now? What is he thinking or doing that seized his mind to the point of shutting me out like this? He is not thinking about me? Not even about his baby?
"It hurts because you love him so much, Tessa, and I am sure my son knows how much he means to you. And I have seen just how much he adores you, my dear. He is willing to do anything just for you. Trust me, in as much as this sounds cliche, I am certain even his actions right now are driven by the love and admiration he feels for you." She says, making me mentally smirk bitterly.
Yeah? She doesn't need to solace me with lies, you know? He adores me so much that he walked out on me? We could have crashed on the road with Mark as we sped up to him so I could stop him from doing something that he will later bemoan, yet he did not appreciate that. He cares about me so much that is why he has not bothered to call or text, right?
"I love him, mother. So much more than he knows. I know he loves me too, but I don't blend with your theory, Mother. I do not see any reason why he is not here nor checking up nor...
"Shame!"
That cut me off, and I snap at her.
"What?" I implore as she clenches my hand, soothing me.
"Haven't you noticed that after all that you have done for my son, he wants to be the best version of himself to you?" She queries, drawing me into a state of confusion now.
Best version? He is the best he can be already. Well, that was until the beat in him took control over his cool hours ago. What is he ashamed of?
"I do not get you." I state.
"That is all that elucidates this, Tessa, because believe me, Jerol loves you more than himself. All he is doing now is all for you. What he has become, it is for, and because of you." She stares for a moment to perhaps see whether I am getting her point which I am missing like how an idiot misses a point.
All I am hearing are nothing but riddles, or a mother acclaiming his son and conceivably, justifying his wrongs? What is she talking about? What is she insinuating? That I am the same reason for his son to be acting so distinct with me right now?
"Look." She starts after getting my memo that her riddles don't ring a bell at all to me. "You redeemed him, Tessa, and he must have made a pact with himself to never fail you after all the efforts you made on him. He has done a better job of not relapsing. Then this happened, and you had to walk in on him in that situation. Maybe he feels like he has let you down. He is in battle with himself and not you."
I am speechless!
Could it be true? Is he ashamed of facing me after what he did? Maybe, is decipherable for his walking out. But why did he not want me to touch him? Maybe he felt so dirty after beating his brother to the point of almost killing him? Maybe he feels ashamed of himself as his mother says. But to the point of not caring about me? He has never stayed even half of this long appalling decade without checking on me.
"I know what you are thinking, but, look outside." Mother adds after reading my mind, and I snap in the direction of her gestures.
Outside the clear window stands Terry and Mark. Terry is all bundled up for the chilly night, like she had just had a change of clothes. Mark is always allergic to sweaters ever. He is always rocking in his white chauffeur uniform. Maybe he knows how gorgeous the shirt hugs his biceps and is afraid of tucking his beauty inside the hoodies and jackets.
"Who do you think they are here for and on whose orders?" Mother whispers to my ear, as if sweetly mocking me.
Terry beckons for me to go out, and I do so after Mother smiles with permission.
I head out, and walk on Mark as he receives a call from someone, but unfortunately, all I could make out of the call were nothing but countless annoying "yes sirs" which left me anxious and angered.
He is inquiring about me?
"Ma'am?" I snap to Terry. Apparently, I was expectantly gawking at Mark to see whether he has a message for me, but it seems like he has none at all. He was even starting to get nervous about my inquisitive gaze.
"Yes, Terry? What is it?" I inquire.
"Here." She says, handing me a satchel that I had not noticed in her hands. I grab it albeit with laziness. "Sir Jerol asked us to bring you warm clothes. There is also food in there, and we will be out here in case you need anything." She explains.
I swallow hard!
I was wrong. He is thinking about me and my well-being. He still cares. I love that. It alleviates my distress. But still, it hurts that he is not the one here to look after me. It hurts that he has to use other channels to check on me. It sucks so bad!.
"Thank you, Terry. I appreciate this. And you guys do not need to stay out here. The weather does not look good at all. You two can go home." I say.
"But ma'am. It's sir Jerol's orders." She says.
"Don't worry, Terry. I will explain this to my husband. You guys head home already before the rain falls." I say.
"Alright, ma'am! Please take care. We will go ahead!" Mark says.
"Take care too on the road. Don't stress all your 80kgs on the gas pedal. It's risky to overspeed under such weather." I plead, as if I was not the one howling to him about two or three hours ago to step on the pedal.
He must have wondered that, hence his smile.
"Alright, ma'am. I will be careful. And ma'am? I am 69kgs." He says politely, and pulls Terry away with a smile on his lips.
Ooh! 69. I wouldn't have guessed that right!
Carrying my bag inside, I shut the door behind me and stroll back to the seat.
"So, tell me now! Does this at least ease your worries?" Mother implores, grinning broadly.
I have never seen her this way. Smiling from ear to ear. She was always grumpy and looking for something to pin on me. But not anymore. And today I am seeing the most brightest face of an incredibly friendly woman. I can't help but jiggle about this.
"A little!" I respond, seating beside her.
"But at least you know he cares, right?" She asks, her beautiful grin fading away slowly.
"Yeah. But I still wish he was the one here. I still wish he came here instead of sending the servants." I respond with all sincerity.
"At least he did something. It should mean a lot. Plus, after what happened, he must be blaming himself for Ellie's condition right now." Mother says, and that strokes my curiosity.
"Was he the one who..."
"No." She cuts me off, looking at Ellie as she adds. "It was Grego! He pushed her so hard to nudge her out of their fight and that is when Jerol lost it!"
Huh? Did he really lose his cool because of her?