It reaches a certain point in life when you are too exhausted from everything. That point when you can't even recognize who or what you are anymore. That point where everything and everyone sucks. That time when you can't even decipher when or how things got this far. That point where you are certain that things will never be like before again. That is where I am right now. I don't know what anyone in my shoes would choose to do in such a situation, but I have chosen to end this toxic relationship between me and this woman who I call mother. She doesn't want me, and I don't need her.
Call me bitchy. Call me stupid. Call me childish or ungrateful as she calls me, anything, but I am so done with her. I endured all her insults, I made peace with all her yelling, castigating and outrageous beatings all my life. I understood all her shortcomings as a mother because I knew nobody is perfect, but she never cared from the beginning. I wasn't looking for perfection in her, no. I just wanted her to treat me like her own child. But for eighteen years and two weeks now, I am far from earning her affection as my mother.
I have miserably failed to be the daughter she probably wanted. Not only doesn't she care about me, but she loathes me. I am like a she-devil to her. Why that is, I don't know and I don't care anymore. I am done. I'm after nothing now but my peace, and my peace is being as far away from her as possible. I am shutting down this chapter with her and starting another one as Jerol's wife, thanks to my so thoughtful mother. This thing she did to me just now surpasses every other crazy thing she has ever done, and I can't forgive her for this. I will always remember her for this last act of hers. After these five months, I will start another chapter all alone. At least, I will not need to be a hawker anymore. I will be filthy rich then, and I will have a comfortable and happy life.
"Shall we?" My husband inquires, coming from the bathroom dazzling like a diamond in his expensive three-piece navy blue suit.
If there is something I have divulged for these past two days I have been with him, it is that he is a troubled soul. He is doing his best at concealing it, but it's evident anyways. If not so, then he must be a temperamental nuisance devil. I don't know which is which, but I am a temporary wife after all, and I shouldn't overstep the boundaries. I should mind my own business and not meddle in his. I will deal with my problems, and him, his demons.
"Do you really have to come?" I query, just to make sure because I don't see the point of him escorting me to my mother's house. That place is not for rich tycoons like him.
"I need to. You are my wife, remember? I have to accompany you everywhere, and vice versa applies too."
"Why such charades? Trying to make someone jealous?" I rant out, but I regret opening my mouth because of the outburst I receive as a response.
"Can you quit asking silly questions? We are wasting time unnecessarily. Let's go."
Whoa!
What a temper! I said it. Maybe this is why women can't stay by his side, and he has to result in buying himself a hopeless one like me. Dah!
I grab the envelope on the bed and walk past him without saying a word, but he catches up with me just two stairs down. He wraps his hand around my waist, and I don't dare say a thing.
We walk past the gigantic sitting room which equals a hall, with servants doing one or two things here and there. I haven't had my time to explore this castle. One, because I was on bed rest, but I am glad since I can now walk slowly with ease. In two or three days, I will have my bandages removed, and I will be perfectly okay. The second reason is that I know this is temporary. I don't want to make memories here or get attached to things around here. I am taking precautions.
Sauntering out of the door, Jerol leads me and we walk to the black limousine waiting for us near the gate. He holds the door still for me to get in, and after slamming it shut after making sure I have settled in, he walks to the other side and settles in beside me. Why the trouble? He should have told to me to make some space for him instead of going through all that unnecessary trouble. All the same, the black tilted glass separating us from the driver goes up, meaning it is just me and my husband at the back of this comfortable limousine. The rich have a different lifestyle, I tell ya. Even the air they breathe is incompatible with what people like us breathe.
The drive is quiet. We are both lost in our own thoughts, me glaring at the envelope I am holding and reflecting on how my mother is going to react, and this husband of mine here staring at space. I steal a glance at him through the corner of my eyes. Aside from his cold demeanour and not-so-bearable temper, he is an epitome of beauty. These icy bottomless semi-almond orbs, I wonder what they would look like brimming with joy. They sure must be the most beautiful ones.
"We are here, I suppose." He says, snapping me out of my short exploration of his eyes. I look at how he opens the door on his side, and I do the same to mine.
Stepping out, he walks to my side, locking my hand in his again, and we walk side by side towards the house.
As always, there are people indoors every single time of the day around here. Catching a glimpse of such an expensive car must have demonically called the attention of everyone, because now everybody is out, peering at us in bewilderment like we are aliens, or better still, wolves in the territory of humans. I can see some murmuring to each other, and others' jaws are rolling on the sandy ground, their mouths will probably never be able to close again. I can understand their shock because personally feel like this is a dream. A dream that I wouldn't want to wake up from.
I lost my shop and everything that kept me sane just two days ago. I was left with nothing. I almost lost my life too. But today, I am a lady of high pedigree. Apart from having this rich tycoon as my husband, I have a whole fifty million lying in my bank. I have been checking through my phone almost every hour since Jerol transferred the cash to my account, just to make sure the money hasn't disappeared. The anxiety it's giving me though, lol! I still can't believe it. Life is undoubtedly a total turn of events. Today you are poor, tomorrow you might wake up rich. Don't criticize people because of who they are today.
I knock lightly on what used to be my house and wait for the owner to open. This isn't my house anymore. This is the last time I am setting my feet in it. This house and everything in it, we are partying ways today. Funny how I don't sentimental about this. It's like I never belonged here, presumably because my existence was never valued at all. I don't know if I will ever miss this misery of a home.
I nudge the door slowly since no one seems to bother to get it. I hope she was decent enough not to keep a man in this house up to this hour because Jerol notified her that we will be coming today. The embarrassment will be too much.
I open the door, and since Jerol does not show any indication of waiting for me outside, we walk in together, to the suffocating panorama of my mother chewing a man's lips on the pathetic loose and torn couch. It's even eliciting some screeching sounds as her butt is grinding the man's thighs or hell knows what. Oh well, I guess I was too late to make a wish. Isn't this one of the uses of a bedroom which is just two strides away from where they are fornicating? Jeez!
She stops, acknowledging our presence, and she annoyingly smiles at Jerol as she hovers off the old dog, straightening her dress. The term shame has never been in her vocals, really.
I should bow down with chagrin because of what greeted Jerol the first time I bring him to my house, but I keep my head high, and a straight face. If there is one thing I am ashamed of, it is being associated with this outrageous immoral woman and since I can't change that, I will not beat myself over it. It doesn't matter where one comes from, but what matters is what we become without having to be defined by the people we grew up with or the places we grew up in. This despicable woman here is not going to determine who I am or who I will become, and whoever wants to judge me based on her can go to hell for all I care. It's said that you should not judge a book by its cover, and I believe in that saying. Fuck the one that says that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I have nothing in common with this woman. I am nothing like her, and I will never be.
"Hi, son-in-law! I hope you brought good news. Have a seat please." She opens her dirty stinky mouth. See her hatred? She doesn't care about me. She does not even care to hide it. No greetings, no welcome, no how have you been. No nothing! Sometimes I tend to think she didn't give birth to me. LMAO!
"Nobody is sitting down." I burst out because I can sense Jerol's discomfort, and because I don't intend to stay here for more than ten minutes. "I just came down here to give you your hard-earned share of the deal and ask you just one thing." She moves her gaze to me, and I look her in the eyes. I have never confronted her before. Never have I ever questioned her. Never did I dare talk back at her nor raise my voice at her. Despite all the wrongs she did to me, I was always a respectful child. Honour thy mother and father, right? I followed that to the latter, but it all ends today because life has taught me that respect is earned, and if you can not respect yourself, then no one will ever respect you. And this woman here has never even tried to earn that respect. How can she, if she doesn't even respect herself?
"I hope you were not greedy enough to take out even a single cent from it, Angeline. I hope you brought the full amount that we agreed upon."
"First tell me, mother. What do you deserve? What do you think you deserve for being a parent, a mother to be precise, huh? An award?"
"Watch your tongue, young lady! Just because your husband is here with you does not give you the right to disrespect me. I am still your mother."
Mother my foot! If only she knows the meaning of being just a parent not talk of a mother! For goodness sake!