"I will try and talk to him." I respond elegant Mrs McCall who is about to assassinate me with her stern murderous looks.
"Try? Why? Can't you handle your husband? What sort of a wife are you?" She fires deadly, stopping me on my trunks.
If it weren't for the thoughtful husband of hers who held her arm to stop her from bombarding me with questions, I would be deaf by now from her unwarranted outbursts.
Can she give me a break for hell's sake? I understand her sentiments but, come the fuck on! If Jerol can bark at them the way he did, then who am I? Does she even know how much I am bearing? What sort of a wife my freaking foot! I am the kind that bears the pain even when it's not right! I did not sign up for this to start with. I should probably scream this at her, but I restrain myself.
"Excuse me." I walk away after McCall nods his head with a slight smile.
I don't understand this decorated cow of a woman though. I understand that she doesn't approve of me for his beloved son. I understand that she disdains the fact that she doesn't know anything about me. But, for hell's sake, can she try and understand the hell I am going through with his son? I mean, what they just witnessed today is nothing compared to what I have gone through in weeks. I am enduring so much, you know!
Damn!
This is not part of the agreement. Or maybe I did not read through that damn document well. I did not know this was the kind of hell I had to through for the fucking five months. How much more time is left again? Fuck! How much more do I have to bear apart from the scar that is healing on my forehead, huh? Broken bones? Do I have to wait until the next object he throws at me drills through my eye? Good grief!
I walk inside and bump into these gossip-monger rats in the title of servants peeking up to a certain room upstairs. These fools are all nuisance! Maybe Jerol should fire them all, IMAO! What's their work again?
"May I know what is going on here?" They turn to me upon hearing my reverberating voice, shaking with fear.
How many are they again? They are making this castle look like a bonding house, especially when they cloud together like this. That is why they have more than enough time to gossip even about their boss because they have no work to do.
"Didn't anyone hear me or are you all dumb?" They shudder again as my voice echoes through this humongous sitting room.
"Sorry, madam! Sir Jerol just went to that room again. I mean, the gym." One of them whose name reads some stupid Agatha, gathers the courage to vomit, her lips trembling with every letter.
"And so?" I fume with fury.
Did he go there again? In the gym?
"We.. We...thought...that...he might..."
"Are you being paid for any of this?" I cut her annoying fucking spammers off, and they all shake their stupid empty heads at together. "Pay attention carefully because I speak only once. As the madam of this house, I have the mandate to order and fire any busybody that I feel like. Go back to your designated posts of work and make yourself useful before I kick your lazy asses out of this place. One more thing. The next time I find anyone eavesdropping or gossiping about me, my husband, or this family in general, I will fire that person instantly and without any compensation or pay. Am I clear?"
"Yes, madam!" They chorus together, heads bowed down.
"Off to Your posts, and you better stick your asses to your job for your own good. I will not show any mercy to anyone who defies my orders or behaves like a freaking lazy ass!"
"Yes, madam."
They all run off and vanish in different directions, while I pick up my pace and run upstairs to that cursed gym.
I run inside without knocking. Fortunately, he forgot to lock the door today, but, true to my hypotheses, the evil monster meandering in this cursed gym happens to have taken control over him again. He is discharging his anger on the innocuous hard wall again, roaring like an angry lion. His hands are covered in blood.
Like I always do, like a caring wife, I run to his aid, pulling him from the wall, but once again, another freaking time, I suffer the consequences. He entangles himself from me, sways me at a complete degree, and slams me to the wall.
I hit the wall with my face.
"Aaahh!" I cry out, a very cold liquid oozing from somewhere above my right eyebrow. I cover my eye to prevent the red liquid from entering, and I groan in pain as it runs over my hand, drops of it falling to the red carpet.
Another pain!
Another wound!
Another scar!
"I have cautioned you a million times to keep your distance from me! Is it so fucking hard to do that?" He roars between gritted teeth behind my back, and I slowly turn around, my hand still covering my eye. "I won't be responsible if something...."
The guilt cuts off his tongue the moment I fully face him.
I look at him, tears plummeting as fury moulds in me.
"Go on! You should also probably ask me if I have a death wish." I fume at him.
He remains thunderstruck for a couple of minutes, just gawking without even flickering. Maybe it's the powerless angel in him pleading for a press conference with his demons. They are destroying him, or maybe they have already destroyed him.
I don't think I can deal with this anymore. It is so difficult to denote when the demons will strike again. It's inconceivable to control him when he turns this monstrous without me getting hurt. I don't..
"I asked you to stay away from me in times such as this, Tessa, didn't I?"
Ooh, wow! He found his voice, but can he give me a break too? What the heck was I deemed to tell his parents? That I can't handle his son?
I dry the tears from my eyes.
This guy needs someone to slap some sense in him. He needs to hear the bitter truth before he does something more tragic and since I am the one he is closest to, I think I should do him the honours before he commits suicide. That is where he is steering to if he does not come back to his senses.
"You are right, you know. You did tell me that and I am not deaf. I heard it, but I was just adequately foolish and gullible to think that I can help you, Jerol. But guess what? This," I uncover my eye and shake off the blood from my hand, "this is the height of everything. It stings me to say this to you but I think you need to hear it. You are a lost case, Jerol, and since I don't want to be here to witness your end, I am calling this fucking deal off! You can go ahead and kill yourself if that is what you want, but I will not be here to take the blame."
"You can not back out!"
"Watch me!" I start walking out, but I think I should leave him with something. "Ooh," I turn and look him in the eyes, "I don't know how you choose to end this misery, but before you breathe and blink your last, please take a second to ask yourself if the fucking bitch that you are dying for is worth all these rubbish. Once you have the right answer, you can choose to take your last breath and leave those greedy pests in your company to squander all your hard-earned wealth, or come back to your senses, back to reality, and try to save what is left of your empire. The choice is yours."
It hurts. It breaks my heart to say that to him, to hurt him like that, but I am just so pissed that he is allowing a fucking bitch to ruin him like this. What does she have that he can't find in other women?
It sucks!
She fucking sucks!