Chapter 87

Drenched, shivering, Amy huddled in the corner of Olivia's old tree house and tried to breathe. She hadn't been able to take the emotional assault and just needed to get away. Fast. The frenetic panic had almost been worse than the fear.

After Nakos had stalked out of the barn, she'd gone the long way around so no one spotted her and had stumbled onto their old stomping grounds by accident. A brief storm had come through, but the tree house had no roof, thus she'd been caught in the worst of the rain.

From her perch on the northern side of the main house, she could barely make out the dim glow of lights since there was enough distance to give the illusion of privacy. The small structure was built high in an oak and was roughly seven feet long at most. Old pine boards were scarred, a tad musty, but sturdy. Branches formed a canopy overhead, stars and a sliver of moonlight peeking through the leaves. She hadn't been in here since she was a kid, had forgotten all about it.

It had seemed a good place as any to get her head together, but that had been hours ago. She still couldn't bring herself to move. Dark had descended while she'd cowered and crickets chirped in the night. A soft stirring of grass rustled and an owl hooted. The quiet nature sounds did nothing to calm the frazzled tatters of her nerves.

God, talk about a blow. She'd been washing vegetables next to Mae at the kitchen sink, wondering if Nakos would be interested in a bath together later, and she'd glanced out the window to find...him.

Everything had systematically shut down. Kaput. She hadn't been able to think or breathe or so much as form a sentence. There was no way she could've known what seeing her uncle again would do to her. After the...incident, he'd left the next day to go back to Texas and she hadn't seen him since.

Hard, so dang hard she'd worked to build herself back up, put on her big girl panties, and forge her defenses. She'd moved beyond it, had grown stronger, was living a semi-normal life. And one glimpse of that man had thrust her right back to being the helpless girl she'd once beenshoved against a brick wall and crying through the pain.

Alone. Utterly, utterly alone.

A sob hitched her chest for the millionth time. Everyone knew. Judging by the shouting after Nakos had left her standing in the barn, everyone now knew her dirty, shameful secret. She drew her knees to her chest and rested her forehead on them. Mortification stung her cheeks even as the coldness inside her spread. Consumed.

Would she ever be warm again? Did she have any friends left?

Footsteps sounded below, and she tensed.

"Amy? It's Nate." He paused. "If you're in there, I'm coming up. Just letting you know. I don't want to startle you. Here I come."

The floor vibrated as his feet hit the wooden slats of the ladder. His bald head emerged at the opening, followed by his huge inked arms, then a torso in a fitted black tee.

His gaze searched the space, landed on her, and he let out a long-winded gust. "Thank Christ. I'm coming in." He climbed the rest of the way and sat on his haunches, giving her a wide berth. "Are you hurt? Injured?"

She shook her head.

"Good." He pulled out a walkie-talkie. "I'm just going to tell the others that, okay?" He brought the radio to his mouth, eyes on her. "Stand down, everyone. I've got her. She's all right. Head back to base and call it a night."

Nakos, Kyle, and Olivia keyed over one another, their questions a rapid fire.

Nate pinched the bridge of his nose. "Olivia, baby. She's safe. Kyle, head to the main house with Olivia. Nakos, give me five minutes and I'll call you on the satellite phone." He sat against the opposite wall from Amy and stretched his legs out. "That should keep them quiet for a few minutes. We've scoured the entire ranch twice. We were worried."

"I didn't mean to scare everybody. I just...I had to..."

"Run?" He nodded. "I get it."

More like hide, but close enough. "How did you find me?"

"I was searching the side of the house again and remembered this was here." As if to give her a moment, he shifted his focus to the cramped quarters, a half smile curving his lips. "The secret place. Olivia brought me up here once, a few months ago. It wasn't entirely a bad experience."

A surprise laugh huffed from her mouth. "We used to hang out in here, spilling our guts. That's why she calls it the secret place. I assume that's not what you two did up here."

"Oh, there were secrets told. She has a way of getting them out." He grinned. "The how was interesting."

Another laugh, and some of her tension drained. "I bet." She shivered, sobered. "I really am sorry."

"I'm only going to say this once, so listen close. You don't have anything to apologize for. None of it. Not one single thing. Hear me?" At her nod, his frown eased. "Good."

The phone clipped to his belt rang, and he glanced heavenward as if seeking guidance. "That's probably Nakos. Do you want him to know where you are?"

She didn't want to see anyone. Couldn't. "Not yet."

He put the phone to his ear, listened a moment. "Yes. No." He studied her, skimmed a gaze down the length of her and back. "I wouldn't lie to you. Trust me on this. She's fine. She's not hurt. I'm not leaving her side until she wants to move. Go home. I'll bring her there when she's ready." He closed his eyes as if in pain. "I know, man. Bye."

Carefully, he set the phone aside, stared at it. "He's out of his mind with worry. And I don't just mean not knowing where you are." He met her gaze, held it with determination. "You didn't see him tonight, Amy, and be glad for that. But understand me. He's a fucking wreck."

Tears, hot and heavy, scorched her throat, fell on her cheeks. She covered her eyes with her hand as pressure built in her chest. "I couldn't tell him what happened. So often, I tried, but... I'm weak. How am I supposed to face him now that he knows?" She wiped her eyes. Sniffed.

"Weak is violating a twelve-year-old girl simply because you can. Weak is having the urge to want to in the first place." He leaned forward. "Strength is getting back on your feet after some jerk took something precious from you. Strength is picking up the pieces when your sense of security, your very trust, has been stolen." His tone softened, and in his golden-brown eyes was an understanding she never thought she'd ever find from another. "You aren't weak, Amy. You're the very definition of courage. Crying? Being scared? Needing to run once in awhile? That's not weakness. That's being human."

"All these years, I was fine. Really, I was. Until..."

"Until the nightmare was shoved in front of you again."

She let out a watery exhale. "Yeah." She met his gaze, hoping to have her doubts assuaged, once and for all. Needed to hear it from a man. "What if..." She swallowed thickly, pressing a hand to her belly to stop the churning riot. "If it was Olivia, would you look at her the same? Would you still...want her?"

"Yes. Hands down, without a doubt, no thinking required, yes." He rose, scooted to the spot next to her, and leaned against the wall so they were shoulder-to-shoulder. "She'd still be the sweet, stubborn, bleeding heart I married and can't live without. Just like you're still the same sassy, strong, talented, and independent woman Nakos fell in love with. Scars and history don't change that."

"Really?"

"Swear to God." He tilted his head. "Now, if it was Olivia, I would, however, hunt the asshole down and beat him within an inch of his life. Which, by the way, is what Nakos tried to do until I held him off." He scratched his jaw. "Kinda sorry I stopped him."

"He did not. Nakos?" Then again, now that her head was a little clearer, he had seemed...well, out of his mind when he'd left her in the barn.

"Totally came unglued. Clocked your uncle three times before I got in there."

"Huh. Wow. He's always been level-headed. Meticulous, honestly. Drives me nuts sometimes."

"Take it from a guy. Men in love? We don't know our asses from our elbows. Threaten our women, and we lose it." He turned his head and looked at her, their faces close enough she could see some of the shadows still lurking inside him. "Let me ask you this. If it had been Olivia, like you said, would you consider it her fault? Would you agree with her if she blamed herself?"

Okay, fine. She got the point. It was hard to erase years of ingrained thought mentality, though. "You know I wouldn't."

Empathy shone in his eyes, and it changed the whole big bad wolf persona he had going for him, showed the heart under all the brawn. "I'm going to be blunt. You were raped. You were violated. You had no say in the matter or control over what happened. I think maybe it's time you realized you were a victim. And it might be a good idea for you to take some of that power back."

Tears threatened again at his tenderness. "How?"

"For one, talk about it. With Olivia, with Nakos, with the dog. Doesn't matter who. Six months ago, there's no way I'd admit that, but there is something oddly liberating about voicing the ugliness."

She didn't know if she'd ever get to a stage where she could, but if Nate thought it was a solid start, she'd consider it. "What else?"

"Press charges." He shook his head when she opened her mouth to argue, and took her hand in his. "We've got him locked up, just waiting for your statement. I'm not claiming that retelling what happened will be easy. Flat out, it's going to suck. I'll be right there, not judging, along with Olivia and Nakos, if you want to go that route. The asshat will probably fight the charges and there will be a trial. I'm not going to lie. That'll suck, too. And there's no guarantee he won't walk. But it'll hold him accountable for the sick thing he did, and perhaps the process will give you closure."