Chapter 75

Amy hadn't been horseback riding since before the divorce, but her body remembered how and she closed her eyes, tipping her face toward the sun. Leather reins were soft against her palms and the gentle sway of the gelding under her was hypnotic. She breathed in the scent of summer grass and soil, smiling while hooves clomped the earth.

She should be worried about the giddy sensation in her belly, but whatever. Nakos had given her an orgasm last night. If she never had another, she'd carry the memory of that one for two lifetimes. Even better was the pleasure she'd given him. She wasn't sure if it was because she'd been with Nakos or that she'd been coming down off a high, but nothing in her experiences had been so right. No nerves or doubt. They'd been in sync.

Watching his reaction had cemented something in her mind, what he'd been trying to tell her for a couple weeks. He wanted her. Not because Olivia was taken or out of some errant surge of restlessness, but because he genuinely wanted her. Having not been around much encouragement and unused to praise, it was no wonder she had been fighting so hard. It was difficult to trust someone desiring her when all of the attention she'd received had been out of a fleeting sense of lust. Most guys hadn't seen her, but a release.

And she'd been searching, one conquest and mistake at a time, for what Nakos provided. He didn't lie or mislead. That just wasn't his nature. When he looked at her, and how he'd come undone in her arms last night, proved his words. A person couldn't fake that kind of interest. She'd been with enough partners to know. He'd enjoyed, actually enjoyed, the way she'd touched him. She'dsatisfied him.

One of the horses whinnied and the murmur of voices had her eyes opening. Aunt Mae had packed a lunch, and Nakos had asked Olivia and Nate to join them on a ride to Devil's Cross. They came up to the bluff and dismounted. While Olivia tied the reins to a cottonwood, Amy glanced around.

The area was on the far east end of the ranch, pocketed between the northern edge of rocky terrain and halfway to the southern grazing pasture. From this vantage point, she could make out most of the property. The Laramie Mountains were off in the distance and next to their position was a steep incline that dropped to a narrow creek. A set of stone steps led down to the water, roughly twenty feet below.

Nakos and Olivia headed down, but Nate took a seat in the shade of the intermittent tree cover to watch their descent, his jean-clad legs dangling off the side of the ledge. Amy sat next to him, not in the mood for swimming.

Once at the bottom, Olivia skated the pebbled shoreline and kicked a spray of water at Nakos. He shook his head in warning, which amped Olivia's smile. They'd shed their clothes, now littering the stairs, and the sight of Olivia in a black bikini reminded Amy of her inadequacies. Her friend had a slender frame and fair skin, dusted with freckles, and auburn hair that shone like fire in the sun. Amy was all rounded curves with average brown strands that could be found anywhere.

In contrast, Nakos wore red board shorts and was a head taller than Olivia. His natural olive tone bronzed gold in the light, and his coiled muscles shifted in fluid motion when he moved. Lean waist, hard pecs, ripples of abs, and defined biceps. He'd set aside his cowboy hat and had his raven locks in a low ponytail at his nape. His teeth flashed white as he offered a rare grin and stalked closer to Olivia. She squealed, but he caught her around the waist and tipped them sideways into the waist-deep water.

"This reminds me of when we were kids." Amy smiled. They used to come up here a lot to cool the summer humidity clinging to their skin. It had been awhile since she'd seen Nakos drop his guard, let his playful side out. Even as a boy, he'd only done it in their presence. Otherwise, he was all stoicism and quiet observation. "You don't want to join them?"

Nate grunted. "I'm good right here. I could watch her all day." He rubbed a hand over his bald head as if embarrassed by the admission. His tat sleeves were seemingly living extensions of him. "She looks happy, doesn't she?"

"You make her very happy."

He flicked a glance at Amy and back to their friends, shaking his head in disbelief. "That stunning woman is my wife. Still hard to wrap my mind around that. I don't think I ever will."

Surprised by his candor, she leaned back on her hands. "Why's that? You're not exactly an ogre, Nate, and one only has to look at you to know you love her more than anything."

A slow nod. "Yes, I do." His smile softened the longer he gazed at the antics below. "More than air or sustenance or my own life. But you understand, better than most, what it's like to doubt." He shifted his gaze to her, a flicker of speculation in his dark depths. "You and I are a different breed of people."

"How so?" She hadn't had much one-on-one time with Nate but, from the first moment she'd laid eyes on him, she'd felt a kindred connection. Nothing romantic and not at all like the bone-deep tether she had with Nakos. No, it was more elemental with Nate. Guilt recognizing guilt or pain identifying another's pain.

He refocused on Nakos and Olivia, her now on his back trying to submerge him. "I grew up in foster care, never knowing what it was like to matter. You were raised in a house with both parents, yet you weren't taught that basic skill, either."

She leaned forward, wondering how he'd come to that conclusion when this was the first real conversation they'd had. Perhaps Nakos or Olivia or Aunt Mae had said something? But they didn't know the half of it, and why would they bother to mention such a thing to Nate?

"I'm ex-military. I can read situations and people better than the average person." He offered her a half-smile. "No judgment here. I'm simply pointing out our similarities. People like us were never shown love, ergo we don't trust it when it comes along. Now those two?" His chin bumped toward their friends. "They don't know anything else. Their folks showered them with affection and built their self-esteem. They never had to question the basics, unlike us."

"Yeah," she said through a sigh, realizing he was right. "I wonder what that feels like. It must be nice."

"No clue, but it's good to see the flip side to darkness. A relief to know it's there."

She nodded, unsure of what to say. In a few short sentences, he'd pegged her to a T, and all because they were the same, her and Nate. "Is there a reason you brought this up or are you just pulling a Humphrey Bogart beautiful friendship moment out of your ass?"

He tipped his head back and laughed. "The girl's seen Casablanca," he muttered. "I knew I liked you for more than your one-liners." He smiled, sobering. "My point is, just because we weren't shown any, doesn't mean we can't love. Or that we don't deserve it. Took Olivia breaching my walls before I realized that. I still wake up every morning needing to remind myself, but the proof is in what she does to me with one smile." He leveled her with a direct glare that brooked no argument. "I love her more than air or sustenance or my own life," he repeated his sentiment from earlier. "And in turn, I'm capable of making her happy."

Dang, he was something. "The bigger they are, the harder they fall. No wonder she's gobsmacked."

Another rough laugh, and he sighed. "So. You and Nakos."

"Ah ha. I see the light." She studied the man in question with Olivia in the creek, having quit their roughhousing and were now talking instead. "Offering advice, Nate, or gathering intel?"

"Both."

Hmm. "Our situation's different." Nate was worthy of Olivia. If there was any doubt, his recent declaration shot it out of the water. Amy didn't deserve Nakos. "This isn't love. We just starteddating."

"I'll bet my right arm and my left nut that you're wrong. You loved each other before you ever acted on it."

"As friends. That's not the same."

Contemplative, he stared at the horizon. "I understand where the lines might be blurred, but you didn't see his expression when you walked down the aisle at my wedding. What was the word you used? Gobsmacked? Yeah, that fits."

Really? That was long before he'd kissed her.

"I tried the love thing once before." She shook her head. "I still have the scars."

"You want to talk scars?" His brows rose in challenge. "Besides, you weren't married to that douchebag. You were married to a concept."

"You think so, huh? Pray tell, oh wise one."

His grin was fleeting and, after a beat, he rubbed the stubble on his jaw. "Let's put it this way. Love has many forms, or so Olivia tells me. Multiple meanings. So do several words in the English language. Take 'in' for instance. It's not the most important one-syllable, two-letters, right?" He looked her dead in the eye. "Unless it's thrown in front of the word 'love.' One tiny word changes the whole infrastructure of the other. You may have, in some way, loved Chris, at least the idea of what he could give you anyway. But you weren't in love with him. Just like Nakos wasn't really in love with Olivia."

That was the third time from as many people she'd heard that accusation, and she still wasn't sure she believed it. "I think you're wrong."

He shrugged. "Agree to disagree. I like Nakos a hell of a lot, but do you think for one second I'd let him touch her if he had any romantic notions?" He pointed below.

Olivia had Nakos pinned beneath her, dunking his head. He surged out of the water, her on his shoulders, and tossed her upstream.

"Dude's got his hands all over her. My eye's not even twitching." Nate grunted. "Know why? Because every few seconds, he glances up here to check on you. Wait for it. Three, two, one"