Chapter 21

Olivia leaned against the stall door in the barn Nakos had just closed and heaved a sigh. "I'm so over today it's ridiculous." She rubbed her sore left shoulder and dreamed of a hot shower. And ten pounds of chocolate. Add a glass of wine, and the day might end on a good note.

Gary, their vet, had been out to the ranch for a six-month visit on the horses. She adored the man, but hated check-ups. Some of the horses spooked easily when it came to exams and it was a never-ending parade of in-out, in-out. When things had begun running late this afternoon, she'd barely had time to jog up to the houseon Nakos's insistenceto grab a sandwich for an early dinner because she'd skipped lunch.

"You okay?" Nakos dropped his hands on his hips and frowned, gaze assessing.

"Yeah. Just a stunner, I think. Firestorm jerked when Gary gave him his shots. Tugged my arm a little." For a thoroughbred, Firestorm was a big baby. Then again, he was a male.

Nakos nodded. "Let's get you home, then. You can take something for the pain and soak in the tub."

"Good plan." If she made it that far. The bale of hay in the corner was looking perfect.

They locked up and headed down the path in the fading daylight, rounding a pile of shingles from the third barn. Nate had been tasked with stripping the roofs and re-shingling, something she'd been meaning to hire someone to do. When he'd caught wind, he'd insisted he could do it for her.

"He got a lot done, didn't he?" She nodded her approval and breathed a lungful of humid air as they walked. Spring was finally settling in and she was grateful. Winters around here were long.

Nakos grunted. "He's efficient. I'll give him that."

She studied him in her peripheral. "You guys seem to be getting along better. I haven't heard death threats in at least a week."

He stopped and faced her, short black ponytail catching the breeze under his cowboy hat. "Anyone who puts himself on the line while a dickwad threatens your life is solid in my book."

"He wasn't the only one who came to our rescue. Have I thanked you?"

A corner of his mouth quirked. "Only eighty times. And it was a knee-jerk reaction. I'd do it again."

"I know." And that was why he was one of the best people she'd ever had the pleasure of having in her life. She sighed, fondness tightening her throat. "I'm going to hug you and you're going to let me."

In answer, he opened his arms and she stepped into them. She pressed her cheek to his chest and closed her eyes a beat as he enveloped her.

"I love you." She inhaled his scent of hay and sunshine. He'd always been there for her and she didn't have a clue how she'd get along without him. "I don't say that enough."

"Ditto, little red." He tugged on her braid, something he used to do when they were kids.

"I'm sorry about what I said a few weeks ago." It had been eating away at the lining of her stomach, and it was high time she faced her mistake.

"I understand, but listen to me." He pushed her away and held her shoulders. "I would've taken you up on that offer or made one of my own years ago if I thought it's what you really wanted. But that's not the case and we're fine. We'll always be good, just as we are. I've known for a long time I'm not the right man for you."

"That seems to be a mantra." She pouted.

"Let me guess. A certain ex-military, Harley-riding individual is trying to keep his attraction leashed?"

She laughed. "Yeah." And she knew why, too. Or she had an inkling, anyway. She didn't know how to relay to Nate that she didn't care about his past, other than to slowly chip away at him until he heard her. "Does it bother you? Him and me, I mean."

"It shouldn't matter what I think. But no, it doesn't bother me." He offered a contemplative smile. "Know why? Because if you feel half as much for him as his eyes say he does for you, then that's the person you should be with."

Well, damn. "When did you get so wise?" Except, she wasn't so sure about Nate's feelings. It seemed like mostly lust on his end. If there was something more, it was buried under a heap of other emotions he refused to acknowledge.

"I've always been smarter than you."

Laughing again, she walked with Nakos the rest of the way to the house. Bypassing everything and everyone with an exhausted wave, she headed up to her suite, popped a few ibuprofen, and sank into her bathtub full of steaming water. By the time she emerged, Mae and Amy had retreated to their rooms, so Olivia hunted down Nate on the porch.

She eased the door open and stepped partially out, propping the screen with her shoulder. In the corner rocking chair with Bones at his feet, Nate stared out at the dark ranch with a tranquil ease to his expression she'd not seen often. His thumb idly tapped his jean-clad thigh as he laid his head back, and she took a moment to watch him.

More than anything, she hoped he was getting a semblance of peace his past hadn't seemed to allow. She'd been accumulating broken fragments of his history, and what she'd gathered made her heart ache. And memories were obviously eating away at him. For a man who looked as beautifully strong as him, he sure didn't appear to think very highly of himself.

Her gaze wandered over the tattoo sleeves covering his corded forearms to his bulging biceps until they disappeared under his tee. She outlined the hard ridges of his abs and pecs through the fitted shirt, remembering the feel of his hot skin under her hands. The way he'd reacted had her wet and achy, even now. He'd been so responsive.

A day's worth of outgrowth shadowed his jaw and she smiled at the fullness of his lips. They said the damnedest things, those lips. Sometimes a heart-stopping memory, often a dry or witty comment, and on rare occasions, something so utterly alpha-sexy she had to clench her thighs. They'd been few and far between, those remarks, but when he let his hunger rise to the surface, she was one-hundred percent lost. His.

No one had ever spoken to her like that beforewith guttural, commanding need.

Since he seemed to be enjoying the quiet, she went to go inside, but he turned his head and looked at her. Trapped by his gaze, she froze in the doorway, surprised by the lack of censure in his eyes. He'd allowed blips of openness when she could tell what he was thinking, but those had been atypical. Not like now.

No guards. No walls. Just...him. And his many contradictions.

Desire and loathing. Affection and repentance. Optimism and despair.

This wasn't the first time he seemed to crave. Seeking, almost. Her, maybe, or perhaps something on a deeper level he couldn't trust himself to go after. Her heart beat in shallow flutters behind her ribs, because she wanted nothing more than for him to reach out and take. He was able to uproot so many responses from her, often without trying, but she could only do so much if he wouldn't believe he deserved something good.

And they could be so, so good together.

"I won't disturb you." She offered a smile and nodded her goodnight.

"You're not disturbing me, and what's wrong with your arm?"

She hadn't realized she'd been absently rubbing her shoulder again. "Just a muscle strain."

He paused, staring as if contemplating a reaction. "Come over here." He leaned forward and patted Bones' head. "Look out, boy." After the dog rose and moved to the other side of the chair, Nate pointed to the floor between his legs and looked at her.

Letting the screen door close behind her, she made her way over. His gaze took in her shorts and tank top, his jaw tight. He seemed to have a love/hate response to her PJs every time she wore them. At his nod, she sat on the porch in front of his chair, her back to him, and flanked by two solid thighs. She mentally bitch-slapped the happy bubble in her chest that he'd initiated interaction this time.

Two large, warm hands settled on her shoulders and she inhaled. His thumbs dug into the muscles of her neck, working their way down across her shoulders and back again in a circular motion.

Her eyeballs thunked the back of her skull. "Oh my God. Don't stop."

A quiet chuckle, and he dipped under her shirt straps to keep massaging. Lord, his hands were amazing. Rough, slightly calloused, and huge. There was nothing sexual about his touch, but her skin heated and her nerves sizzled, even as her muscles went lax. The strain and tension from the day drained out of her in five seconds flat.

She moaned and he stilled. "Too hard?"

"Lord, no. Keep going. I'm going to be comatose soon."

Another low chuckle, and he continued his ministrations. "Never done this before. Let me know if I'm hurting you."

A pang hit her belly. Not only had he made the first move and asked her to join him, but he went outside what was obviously his comfort zone in order to try and make her feel better. His own sweet, clumsy way of taking care of her. She wondered if he realized the amount of character he displayed with the simple act.

Closing her eyes, she rested her cheek on his knee, giving him better access to the side that hurt. He smelled good. Denim and grass and soap. He had this way of surrounding her, either by his size or his scent or his presence. She'd been raised in wide-open spaces and with plenty of breathing room, so she was shocked being around him didn't cause suffocation.

"You're not falling asleep, are you?"

"I might." She hummed as he worked the upper part of her arm and back to her shoulder. "You're freakin' awesome at this." Bones set his head in her lap. "Someone's jealous I'm getting your attention." With a grin, she scratched behind the dog's ears.

Nate grunted. "Where I go, he goes. Strange how he follows me everywhere."

"It's not strange. He likes you." She sighed and breathed in a lungful of humid air. A slight breeze wafted and, in few hours, the temperature would probably drop. For now, it was a perfect night. "Are you sleeping better since he can come and go from your room?"

"Yes, actually." The low rumble of his voice made her shiver. So yummy. "Are you cold?"

"Nope. Your voice is sexy."

"My voice is..." He stilled an extended beat as if processing. "What?"

"You heard me. Sexy. Continue what you were saying."

"I forgot what we were talking about." The confusion, amusement, and shock in his tone made her laugh.

"The dog in your room," she cued.