Chapter 55: If I lay here…
Aiden’s POV
I watched Ashira from afar yet I feel like we are way farther than we already are. She’s been zoning out, looking at nothing without any emotion and then she’ll cry for minutes…or hours.
She had been repeating the same since last night that we arrive to the pack. And it hurts me more.
Elon being her recognized mate already made my knees bent. But seeing her like this sent me straight to hell.
I can’t stand seeing her crying and broken like this but I also can’t take my eyes off her. Even for a second.
“Aiden.”
I didn’t bother to look back, I knew Nick has been lurking around since we got here. Everyone was worried. But I’m beyond them.
I’m afraid.
Scared.
Hopeless.
Each time that I look at Ashira and each narrowed angered eyes look she gave me, I knew I can’t go near her again.
It feels like forever.
Only Lucianna can come near her. The memories she had with me seems to be altered based on Lucianna’s observation. So technically, Ashira don’t remember me.
At all.
“Ash is not eating since we arrive and it’s almost night now.”
Nick is right and it seems to me that my mate is trying to kill herself.
The effects of losing a mate is too much for her, she’s drowning herself into a darkness that didn’t even exist. A darkness made for her to suffer, and for me to die alive.
“Where’s Luce?” I looked back at Ashira and right now she’s crying again, sobbing while hugging her arms in her chest.
I sighed as my heart was pinched by that sight.
“She is with Zynia right now at the basement. Aren’t you supposed to talk with Z?”
“Later.”
I know I need to but I can’t keep my eyes off her. Not now. Not yet.
“You’ve been saying that since last night, Aiden. And you are still not moving from where you stand. Should I ask Zynia to come up?”
“No!”
We were both taken aback when I shouted. I quickly look at Ashira’s way to see if she heard us but she’s not paying any attention to us at all.
She has stopped sobbing but she’s zoning off again. I sighed. She is so lost in her thoughts.
I looked back to Nick and his eyes are still wide as he looks at me.
“Ashira hates the smell of a fellow stealer.” I think he needs explanation over my opposed behaviour. “I’ll have a talk with Z now but guard my mate and don’t let your eyes off her.”
Nick nodded. “You can count on me.”
I looked at him with unsure glare. “You have a tendency of being distracted. Don’t.”
“I won’t, dude! Just go.” Nick rolled his eyes at me and looked at Ashira like a snap dog.
I sighed. Okay, I’ll trust him.
Seth is still under recovery but we expect him to be fine until tomorrow. He’s conscious now and Ava was with him. Upon hearing the news about what happened to Ashira, he acted the same way Zeke did.
And Zeke…
Oh, well.
“Just in time, Aiden.”
Lucianna came to me half-running. “What’s up?” I asked with a knotted forehead.
“Zeke is on rampage again.” she said. “I wanted to stop him but can’t beat an Alpha, can I?”
I chuckled. “Yeah, you can but not unscratched. I’ll handle this.”
I stepped forward and felt the dark atmosphere coming from Zeke’s rage. Lucianna leaned on the wall outside the room as I walked right through it.
I saw Zeke curled as he tried to held his screams. He must be suffering from the pain of rejecting the pack he won over.
“Still resisting?” The moment I spoke, Zeke’s red eyes pierced at me like he was a predator.
“I. Don’t. Want. This.” even the way he speak seems like a hard job. His fangs are showing and the drools now reached his chin.
“Aiden, my son does not want to be an Alpha. It’s the power of the pack that is giving him pain.” Zynia who’s standing behind me spoke.
I looked at her and sighed before watching Zeke again.
“It’s because he is rejecting the title made for him, Z. The pain of his people is mirroring back to him, making him feel ten fold of their agony.”
“I. Have. No. People.”
“Well, you do now. So either accept the position, suffer everyday or have someone with an Alpha blood kill you for the title.”
Zeke screams loud enough that it echoed the whole basement. I’m guessing that’s another wave of pain from the pack bond and his frustration.
“Have a run. Your wolf needs it.”
Zeke was huffing heavily as he looks at me with anger. I can’t do anything for him though. It’s how it is, I could not return time.
And if I could, I would.
Zeke stood up, slightly trembling and I figured he will follow what I just said.
“And give it some thoughts as you wander, Zeke.”
He growled at me but headed out of the room with heavy footsteps.
“He’s like a child throwing tantrums.” Lucianna said as she entered the room. “He almost bumped into me.”
“Forgive my son, Lucy. He didn’t want to be an Alpha that is why he acts like that.” Zynia said apologetically.
“No, it’s okay. So, Aiden how’s my friend up there?”
I sat on the vacant chair next to me. “Still the same.”
“I’ve been waiting for you for a talk, Alpha Aiden.” Zynia started. “I can only imagine what you’re going through.”
And I was hoping I could just imagine all of this.
“I’m fine. What’s hard to see was my mate, doing that to herself.”
“Yes, that is one of the effects of losing a mate. I had the same experience when Zeus died.”
“And you survived it.” Lucianna sat on one chair next to Zynia as she looked at her attentively. “How did you do that?”
“I had Zeke. He was born and I was given a new purpose in life.”
Lucy and I made eye contact as if we were given ideas.
“Will Ashira survive this too when she gave birth to my pup?”
It’s the same question I knew Lucianna came up with. But I’m too hopeful from what I heard.
“She will stop sulking, yes. But I don’t think it will make her remember you, Alpha Aiden.”
My breathe hitched.
“Why?” Lucianna asked. I wanted to ask that but I forgot my own words as I heard what she have said.
“Luna Ashira was stolen. She thinks the baby was Elon’s and it won’t change the fact that she has forgotten,” she looked at me. “You.”
Silence enveloped us inside the room. I can see in my peripheral vision the way Lucianna looks at me with a worried look.
I’m not sure what face I’m making but I feel like half of my body is buried underground.
“One good thing I can say for what was happening right now is that the pup she is carrying has a strong ability. I can sense it even from down here. She’s carrying a boy, and with incomparable strength.”
“That’s good news, right, Aiden?” Luce tried to cheer up the mood but I’m not blending in to it.
“As long as the pup is healthy, I couldn’t care more.” I simply said.
I won’t even care if I had a boy or a girl. I want my family back.
That’s all I want now.
“I think you need to tell her the truth now. Explain to her what happened, she’ll resist, but we need to trouble her mind a bit.” Z suggested.
“So I will start telling things about Aiden to her now?”
“Yes, Lucy. What you were doing was keeping her entertained but she need to know that she lived another version of her world that she’s oblivious of. And I recommend for Aiden to talk to her about it.”
My jaw tightened and my hand made a fist. “She hates me.”
“She does. After all, she thinks you asked Zeke to kill her mate for you. But I still believe that the bond between you both is stronger than what she believed. Let your wolf howl for her. Let her see you, talk to her, make her comfortable with you again.”
My mind wandered as she said those words. I don’t know how it will work but if its the best thing to do, I will.
“I’ll talk to her.” I stood up. “Also, Z, give your son a talk. Ravenous is rightfully his. He shouldn’t run away from it.”
When she nodded, I left.
***
As I climb up the stairs from the basement, my lungs filled itself of Ashira’s intoxicating scent as if on instinct that I’ll be near her soon.
I saw Nick from where I left him, looking after my mate just as I ordered.
I looked at Ashira next, she was sitting at where she has been positioned since last night. The view of the garden surrounding her was eaten by the dark and I see her as the only bright light that gave life on that spot.
She was seated in her usual bench. Can she feel that it was hers? That she belonged here? That she belonged to me?
Is she even confused of her feelings? Can I make her confuse? Can she feel any changes about herself when I’m around?
Looking back, I can’t see much of peaceful bond we had together. Its either we fight and make up for what we fought for.
I’m always around her, and I want to be around her. But I regret not having more good times with her.
Because right now, what memories can I say to her so that she could remember me?
“Hey, Aiden, where are you going?” Nick whispered, he was afraid that I’ll come near her.
I am, too.
I continued walking. My feet feels heavy from each step I take and as I get closer, it felt heavier.
The moment I stopped in front of her, air from my lungs left me completely.
“Hey, Ash.” I said in almost a whisper.
The way she looked at my face with disgusts and anger almost made me want to step back again.
But no, I’m taking back what’s mine first.
*****
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