Chapter 59: Intuition

Morning finally comes. At least that's what I thought. As I open my heavy, drowsy eyes, I take my phone from the nightstand to see what time it is. 5.34. It's still very early in the morning. Everyone is definitely still asleep, unless they're a morning person. In this weather, I think no one is a morning person. What's better than staying in bed under a heavy, thick blanket while it's freezing outside?

Today is the day that I'll be going back home. Until now, I'm still not completely sure about Dante's note yesterday. He said that he found something important. Since we can't talk about anything related to our job here in the Riccis' house, I won't know what it is precisely anytime soon. Hopefully, I'll get my answer tonight or in the afternoon once we're at home.

I cosy up under the duvet, wanting to go back to sleep before breakfast time. The Ricci usually eat breakfast at 9.30, so I still have around three hours until it's time for me to get ready before breakfast and leave this place. It's better if I use the time I have left to get more sleep. It's not like I have other things to do in this place by myself anyway.

I close my eyes again, lying on my side and ready to fall back to sleep. In the darkness, my mind brings me to Antonio. I try to shut off the thoughts, but they keep coming back stronger. Ugh. Why is this happening now? What's with him anyway? Why am I thinking about him this early in the morning?

I open my eyes again, staring at the ceiling in silence, trying to clear my mind of thoughts related to Antonio. After a few minutes of calm breathing, I give up. Antonio is still there in the depths of my mind. The harder I want him out of my head, the more the thoughts persist. There's probably something important about him. What do you want me to do now, mind? It's still too damn early. Antonio is probably still asleep if I go to his room now. Fuck it. I'll text him now.

I grab my phone and click on Antonio's and mine chatroom. I quickly type a short text and send it to Antonio. Let's see if he's already awake or not.

Me: Are you awake?

I hope he's not. My mind is probably playing games on me right now. I can't wait to go back home so I don't have to be in the same house as Antonio again. I guess the proximity between him and me causes all these mixed opinions in my mind about Antonio. It's already clear he's with the bad guys? Why is my mind still trying so hard to rationalise his acts and words and make him look like the good guy?

Antonio: Yes. What's wrong?

Damn it. He's actually awake. What should I say now? Uh, quick, Alessandra. Think of something. Shit. I'll just ask if I can go to his room now. I don't know why I even want to go to his room, but I'll follow my intuition for now, no matter how strange it is at the moment.

Me: Can I come to your room?

Antonio: Sure. No need to knock. Just come inside.

Me: Okay.

Putting on my slippers, I sit there on the edge of the bed for a minute as the battle between my logic and intuition goes even more rampant. My mind tells me I'm just overthinking things and shouldn't go to Antonio's room, but my gut tells me I need to go to Antonio's room right now. So, which one should I actually follow? As crazy as it sounds, I decide to follow my intuition for now. Who knows, Antonio probably will tell me what he wanted to tell me two days ago, before Valeria took me out of his room.

Sighing, I finally get on my feet and walk towards the door. When I open the door, I see Dante standing by it in the hallway. Surprised by my sudden appearance, Dante turns to me and looks down at me.

These past few days, I've barely had the time to see him since we're busy doing our own things. I was busy distracting the Ricci while Dante was busy sneaking around the house to get whatever important stuff we could about the Ricci. By the look of his dark undereyes and heavy eyes, he seems not to have had enough rest. I know exactly why, and thankfully, it's finally over. Hopefully, my father will give him time to rest after he works overtime while we're here, at the Ricci's house.

"Going somewhere?" Dante asks.

"Actually, yeah. Antonio's room," I say. Once the name leaves my mouth, Dante's gaze turns slightly gloomy, and a frown manifests itself on his face. I hold back a smirk and keep staring at him.

Ooh, I can see he's jealous of Antonio. I like that I can see he's visibly jealous about me spending more time with Antonio, but at the same time, I also hate that I can't let him know that he doesn't need to worry about Antonio. It hurts me that I have to keep my feelings to myself for so long until he decided to confess to me first.

Wait. Why do I even have to wait any longer? I know that I have to deal with my father first if I want to really be with Dante, but why should I wait until Dante confesses first? Fuck my father and his feelings. I'm telling Dante about my feelings towards him later. My confession will scare him at first, but it's better to say it later today than to wait for the right moment. There's no such thing as the right moment when it comes to confessing our feelings to each other. I can't wait any longer. Maybe, after we confess to each other, we'll keep it to ourselves so my father won't know anything about it. I don't want Dante to get punished by him again. I just want to let him know that I like him more than I like Antonio.

That's it. I'll confess my feelings to Dante tonight. Waiting until we're done with our problems will only hurt Dante even more, and I don't want that for him.

"Let's go," I say.

Dante stays silent, only nodding at me once. I smile at him and then turn on my heels, going straight towards Antonio's room. Without wasting any time, I get into Antonio's room and close the door behind me. I walk further into the room and see Antonio on his bed, sitting with his back against the headboard. He seems to be in a trance as he sits there in silence. I walk closer to him, and his face lights up when he sees me.

"Come here," Antonio says, patting the space next to him as he smiles at me. Returning his smile, I walk towards the other side of the bed and get under the duvet. I look up at Antonio, who's still sitting, and he frowns.

"Are you okay?" Antonio asks. Realising I'm frowning, I quickly put a smile on my face and nod my head. Why did I frown? I guess the jumbled-up thoughts in my head cause that. So many thoughts, so little time to get them all out.

"I'm fine. I just feel like spending time with you before I go back home in a few hours," I say.

"Do you want to do something?" Antonio asks.

I search for his eyes for anything suspicious, and it doesn't seem like he has any weird intentions towards me. He's genuinely asking if I want to do something non-sexual with me. Honestly, I don't know what I want to do with him. I don't even know why I'm here in his room.

"Nothing, really," I say.

"Alright then. Let's do nothing," Antonio says. He then lies next to me, staring at the ceiling with his arms folded over his stomach. I sigh quietly and then do the same thing.

We stay there in silence, lying next to each other for god knows how long. Antonio lets out a sigh and then sits again. I look up at him, and he stares back at me with a frown, seemingly distraught with whatever is on his mind.

"I can't do this anymore. I have to tell you something."