Chapter 16

Barreling through the kitchen door, Darien came to an abrupt stop when he saw Attis, Emery, and Pascal leaning against the bar—all three held bottles of blood.

Pascal set his down and moved over to grab a glass off the shelf. Pouring some J.D. into the glass, he slid it down the counter in a smooth motion toward Darien.

Picking up the glass, Darien tipped it in his direction. “Thanks.” Swallowing the bitter liquid in one mouthful, he set the glass back on the counter and looked at Emery. “How are you doing?”

Emery stared at the bottle in his hand, his posture tense. “I’d like to go kill something right now.” His tone was filled with venom.

Crossing his arms over his chest, Darien nodded. “I can understand that. Just don’t give into that feeling.”

Taking a sip, Emery lowered the bottle and sighed. “I won’t.”

“How are you doing?” Attis asked quietly, focusing on Darien.

Resting his hip against the bar, Darien lowered his head and stared at the floor for a moment. “I’m struggling.”

“You’ve been struggling for years, wolfman,” Pascal added blandly.

Rubbing the back of his neck, he let out a slow breath. “I know, but it’s getting harder to control.”

“That is because you aren’t supposed to control it.” Attis slid up to sit on the bar, watching Darien. “You’re trying to fight against what nature intends.” He tilted his head and gave looked serious. “We all know how well that always turns out.”

“You need to tell her, Darien.” Emery sounded tired. “The vibes coming off you when I walked into the living room almost suffocated me.

Pascal looked from Emery to slowly study Darien. “How hard is your wolf riding you when she’s near?”

Darien snorted. “Hard. It takes all my focus to not change lately.” He looked down and flexed his hand. The constant pressure in his fingertips where his claws would come out was ever-present.

“Lately, as in because the full moon is close, or before?” Attis inquired, leaning forward to study him more closely.

“All the time now,” Darien whispered. He looked up, making eye contact with each of them briefly. “I want to tell her, but it’s not the…”

“You can’t wait for the right time.” Pascal crossed his arms, exasperated. “You need to make it the right time.”

Rubbing his hands over his face, Darien sighed and dropped them again. “I just… I know” He waved a hand around, “I don’t want to force her to…”

Emery snorted. “There is no one on this planet that could ever force Remi to do something she didn’t want to do.” Chuckling quietly, he grinned at him. “Maybe you can’t see how she looks at you, but the rest of us can.”

“The air is electric when you two are close to each other,” Pascal all but purred, “the pheromones have the rest of us walking around stiff.”

Attis sent him a blank stare and then shook his head, giving Darien a look full of sympathy and understanding. “You’re running out of time.” He shrugged. “The fact that she’s stayed single this long is mind-boggling.”

“It’s not from men not trying…” Emery closed his mouth when Darien sent him a look of death. Lifting his hands, he shrugged. “It’s true, Darien. You can’t pretend it’s not.”

His wolf was clawing at him again. Unable to stay still, he moved around the bar to check the doors. “She won’t get involved with anyone that works here.”

“Maybe if she knew what was going on and that you’re not just a happy-for-now kind of guy, she’d rethink,” Attis called across the room to him.

Checking the side door, Darien turned and jammed his hands in his pockets, and looked over at the three vampires watching him. He’d thought it for years but never said it out loud to anyone. “What if she says no?” Pulling his hands out, he moved slowly across the room. “I’d have to leave.”

“What if she says yes?” Pascal countered in a nonchalant manner. “Then you’d live happily ever after.”

“Are you just going to follow her around with your fuzzy tail tucked between your legs forever?” Attis asked, a smirk on his face.

Rolling his eyes at the vamp’s poor attempt at humor, Dairen heaved another loud sigh. “I don’t know…”

He stopped when Pascal moved away from the bar and started slowly and methodically walking toward him. Something in his expression made Darien’s heart speed up. “What if she doesn’t have forever?” He raised his eyebrows in question. “What then?” Lifting his hands slowly, he maintained eye contact with him. “We don’t know exactly what she is. Her longevity could be that of a normal.” Stopping a few feet from him, his eyes red and lethal. “She could die tomorrow of some normal affliction; then you would never have her.”

A low growl emitted from deep in Darien’s chest.

Pascal shrugged. “If you don’t bind her to your life-line, that could happen, my friend.” Shaking his head sadly, his eyes went back to green.

“Can we not talk about Remi dying? Please?” Emery was across the room in a blur. “I can’t even…” he waved a hand around, “just don’t.” Glaring at Pascal briefly, his grief-stricken eyes turned to Darien. “I’m going to try to sleep.”

“Yes.” Attis moved by them over to the door and set the alarm. “We should try to rest now. It’s going to be a long night tomorrow.”

Emery nodded and turned toward the kitchen without another word.

Attis came over and stopped beside Pascal. “Depressing the fledgling when he’s had an emotional night isn’t the wisest.”

Pascal shrugged. “The truth can hurt.”

Holding his look for several silent moments, Attis inclined his head in concession, then gave Darien a weak smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Darien watched as he left, then moved over to the bar. Picking up the empty bottles, he tossed them into the bin under the counter. When he straightened up, Pascal was on the other side of the bar. “I know it’s the truth, doesn’t mean I want to hear it out loud.”

“None of us want to think of the day we won’t have Remi in our world.” His tone was soft, almost understanding. “But she does deserve to know, Darien.”

Closing his eyes to escape the steady stare of the man making him want to scream, he opened them again and nodded. “I know.” Glancing around the empty space to see if everything was clean, he sighed. “Let me get through the full moon tomorrow, and then I’ll tell her.”

“That’s all I ask. Give her the choice of making her own decisions and stop making them for her.”

Motioning to the kitchen door, Darien waited until he moved. “I can’t wait for the day you find the other half of your soul.”

Pascal paused in the doorway. “I gave up my soul a millennia ago. I doubt any such fate waits for me.”

With that, he moved out of Darien’s sight so fast he couldn’t comment. Stopping to flick off the lights, he stood there in the dark. It felt like everything from this moment forward would change. He couldn’t even fathom a day without Remi in it. Nothing could happen to her. Ever. His beast would wreak havoc in the world if her light were no longer in it.

Exhaling slowly, he pushed through the door. Trying to sleep was going to be the same old restless rerun from every other night, but he had to try.