Chapter 43

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I was going to be sick.

Diamonds sparkled as I rotated my hand back and forth over the glass display case. This wasn’t happening. I had meant to play the role of submissive slave long enough for me to see Bram. After all, West didn’t have to bring me, but he had. During our time here, I meant to be compliant so he wouldn’t have any reason to send me back or keep me away. Now, I was in over my head. What would happen if I said no? What he was offering was any slave’s dream. My dream. But not with him. Any hope of happiness for me was gone now. I was mourning—aching for someone I would never see alive again. This wasn’t happening. I still couldn’t believe it was true.

West grabbed my hand, smiling down. “What do you think? Do you

like it?”

“It’s beautiful. Beyond beautiful. I don’t know what to say. It’s too much,” I whispered, leaning in.

“Too much for you?” He turned the mirror on the case to reflect us. “Do you see yourself? Nothing is too much for you. Especially if you marry me.” He turned me to face him. “You don’t trust me. You might even hate me. I don’t blame you for my behavior. I’m just asking you to try to forget about that person you saw. He won’t exist if you decide to be mine. Just this

West right here.”

I looked back at the ring, wanting to cry. I didn’t want to marry him. I didn’t want to be in the same location as him. I wanted Bram. I wanted this nightmare to end.

“We’ll take it.”

West’s voice had me looking up. He grabbed the matching band, sliding it on. Within moments, the jeweler came back, handing him a piece of paper to sign. It was as simple as that. I still didn’t understand how things worked. We’d taken a car to get here. It was worse than the helicopter. The fast movement of the surrounding vehicles, and the blurring colors that raced by, had me closing my eyes for more than half the ride. I was a nervous wreck and all I wanted to do was get back to the penthouse we’d landed at. How was I going to pretend, if I couldn’t even think straight?

“Eli.”

At West’s gesture, the guard disappeared out of the front doors.

When the long car was driving up, we headed out.

“Ride in the front of the limo. Watch everything.”

Nervousness drew in West’s features as our door was opened and he helped me in. I could tell immediately that something was off.

“What’s wrong?”

He turned from looking out of the back window, pegging me with a nervous stare. “I’m sure it’s nothing. You can never be too cautious. This place isn’t safe, Everleigh. That’s why it’s so important to stay by my side. Believe nothing anyone tells you up here. You probably don’t remember much from your youth, but things have changed since then. People live to lie. They’ll do everything in their power to trap you for their means.

You look rich and you have money. Trust no one.”

My head turned to look behind us and my heart was racing at what he was implying. Was it so unsafe here? Surely it couldn’t be worse than Whitlock. But what if it was?

“I won’t talk to anyone.”

“No one. Especially if they try to get you alone. If they so much as imply anything like that, you tell me. Even if it is a guard or someone you think you know. I’m the only one you trust.”

“I’ll tell you.”

West pushed his fingers in my hair, gently leading me to his lips. I could have pulled back. My soul screamed too. But I couldn’t ruin this yet. Not if I wanted to see Bram. Until we got back to Whitlock, I had to try my best to play by his rules.

“You look beautiful. The bruising isn’t too bad on your cheek, and your lip is already healing. The make-up hides it well. No one will even notice.” At my slight withdrawal, West pushed his lips back into mine. “You never have to worry about me doing that to you again. I won’t. You have my word.”

“But you enjoyed it.” I did pull back then, not able to control the words as the car jerked too slow. My heart was racing as I tried to adjust to the motions of the vehicle.

“I won’t lie. I did like it. But maybe not as you think.”

“What do you mean?”

He twisted his mouth, grabbing my hips to set me on his lap.

“It wasn’t the hitting I enjoy, wife. It was the fight. The struggle of you trying to break free. I wouldn’t have raped you, although I did like you to believe that I was going to. It’s what builds me up. I am generally a nice man. You see the way I act now. You’ve known me for years before you saw that side of me. A man has to have a certain darkness in him to feel … validated. Unless you’re a man, you won’t understand this. Growing up at Whitlock as I did, I guess it just sort of rubbed off on me. You have to at least understand that as a child I was molded to this place. It wasn’t easy witnessing the things I did. Or doing the things I was forced to do.”

“You were forced to do things?”

He nodded. “Bram and I, both. Did you know that we were made to torture and kill disobedient slaves before we were thirteen? Bram’s father wanted us … prepared for what we’d have to face someday. We were beaten very badly, on many occasions. The things we were made to do I will never tell you about. I don’t believe you could handle it. Just know, what we became was not something we were born to be. We coped the best we could. Now, all I want is to do what I was groomed to, have a pretty little wife, and maybe down the road, a kid or two. Is that so bad for me to want happiness after the hell I’ve had to live? You know hell. You know torture and pain. Why is it so wrong to try to erase the past and start over?”

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting that.” If it were the truth. I didn’t trust anything West said. What did bother me was the insight into these men’s lives. Into Bram’s. It explained so much. It made my heart bleed in my chest even more. “I’m sorry for what happened to both of you. We were on opposite sides, trapped in the world of Whitlock. We both experienced horrors that will never leave us. At least now you can make a difference. You can make it better than ever.”

West frowned as he turned to look out of the window. I knew he didn’t want to make it better. He wanted the old ways back. He’d said so himself. That only told me one thing: he was more evil than good. There was no hope for him or marriage for us, or for me to even be able to survive long if matched to him. It would only take one mental snap and he could kill me if he wanted. Or worse … I would kill him. I had to figure something out. Every path I had before me held a chance of it backfiring. I was running out of time.

Minutes passed while I tried to calm the anxieties of the sights around us. When the car pulled into the circle drive of a large building, West placed me on the seat next to him.

“Time to eat, Lee. Remember, stay close. Keep your head up, but your eyes off of anyone’s face. Do exactly what I tell you. Don’t do anything to upset me.”

“I won’t.”

He nodded just as the door was being swung open. I let him help me out, sliding my fingers through his as he initiated the hold. The guard stayed behind us, constantly taking in the surroundings as we strolled through the entrance. The large room had me gasping at the grandeur. The ceiling looked like a picture I’d seen in a book of a cathedral. Gold and glass were aligned on the walls. Everything was sparkling. My head tilted back at the large chandelier and the tug on my hand left me righting myself.

We turned left, heading into an even larger room filled with just as much splendor. I barely noticed the woman behind the podium as we came to a stop.

“Reservation for West Harper.”

“We’ve been expecting you, Mr. Harper. Right this way.”

As we weaved through the tables, I kept my gaze ahead. I didn’t dare look at anyone at the tables. I didn’t even want to be here. For as long as I could remember, all I wanted to do was escape Whitlock. Now that I was here, I didn’t know what to expect. I kept waiting for someone to attack us. I’d been on guard for so long, it was hard to relax.

“Sit.”

West pulled out a chair while I obeyed and let him push me in. When he sat across from me, Eli took his position against the wall, not a foot behind. His hand grasped his wrist at his waist and still he stood and scanned the surroundings. It only added to my apprehension of this outside world. What would happen if our guard were so cautious? Who was going to hurt us?

“Can I start you out with a drink?”

West scanned over the menu, placing it down after a brief glimpse.

“A bottle of your best red.”

The waiter nodded, rushing away.

“Red?”

“Wine, wife.”

“Oh.” I picked up the menu, looking over the selection. I didn’t recognize a single thing. I felt so out of place. Sweat was beginning to cover my chest and it was getting hard to breathe. My body swayed and I grabbed the table to try to stop the unbalance.

“This is too much for you. You’re terrified right now. Look at your hands, you’re trembling. Eli, bring her chair over here.”

My palms pressed against the white tablecloth as I stood. As much as I hated West, he was all I knew. There was a comfort in that for the slave who needed familiarity. There was also anger that I needed him at all.

Ringing filled the space as I sat and West reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone. “Hello?” He paused, his brow creasing at whoever was on the other end. “I see. We’re getting lunch now. We’ll meet you there in an hour.” He hung up the phone, peering over at me as he placed it back in his suit jacket. “That was the high leader. They’ve moved up the viewing.”

“Viewing?”

“Yes. There was meant to be a viewing tonight for his closest friends and family members. Seems the time has been moved up and they’re having it sooner than expected.”

Nausea hit hard, leaving me trying to slow my breaths. I thought I would have two days to prepare myself to see Bram’s dead body. Now it was only an hour away. Could I do this? I knew I had to, but if my heart was aching now, how worse was it going to become when I was faced with the reality that the man I loved was never coming back?