Chapter 19

Instinct brought my hand back, but for the life of me, love wouldn’t let me strike. She was right and the truth was something I’d locked away from the beginning. I didn’t want to look at her like a human being. I wasn’t raised to. This fortress and the responsibilities had been pounded into me since I was too young to know the difference. My father’s fists were a constant reminder of what was and what was supposed to be. Whitlock was my responsibility and if I so much as brought it crumbling down, I was surely a dead man. The men behind these walls had money and power. More power than me on the outside world. I was trapped with this curse and there was nothing I could do about it. Nothing I would do about it. Whitlock was here to stay. Even if I did end this, the men here wouldn’t stop. They wouldn’t do away with their crimes. They could possibly become out of control. Here, there was a system. There were rules. Keep the monsters in a cage and they couldn’t bite the children. They couldn’t wreak havoc on society. I made it that! I stopped the pedophilia. I did what I could to clean up this place to the best of my abilities.

“Clean off that soap and get your ass dressed. If you ever speak to me that way again, I will have you whipped.”

A sob left her mouth and she threw me a glare before spinning back to the shower. My pulse was hammering inside of me. I was torn. Fuck, she wanted me and I wanted her more than anything. It just couldn’t be. I wouldn’t be the one who broke her completely. West would be a perfect match for her. He’d fix this mess I created. Hell, he’d had her master killed to have her. I knew that. Although it pissed me off, could I blame him? He’d gone to her apartment with me plenty of times. He had seen the beatings. He took care of it. I still didn’t trust him and planned to look into it even more, but I knew he would protect her.

I turned back to the sink, ignoring what I had discovered as I began to wash my face and shave. By the time I finished, Everleigh stood dressed behind me, waiting. I stole glances in the mirror. She wasn’t looking at me. Her head was down and her hands were clasped behind her. I took my time, regardless that I should have been rushing her back.

“You should probably know that I love you and that I will never love anyone else. You wanted to ruin me. Congratulations. You succeeded. Since I will not see you again until the auction, I asked that you spare both of us from having to pretend this didn’t exist and not place me with your friend. I want a different master. One you’re never around. I don’t care which one it is. Anyone but Mr. Harper.”

“Stop being dramatic. It’s not fitting for you.”

Her eyes jerked up to mine. There was a calmness there that didn’t sit right with me.

“What you have done is far worse than what any other Master can do. You showed me hope. Love. What did you think you were doing by messing with my emotions? Slave to you, or not, I have feelings. And you don’t care about that, Mr. Whitlock. I’m done with anything involving you.

I’m done,” she said, trailing off.

I wiped my face, not able to stop the fury that came with the fear.

Done. I’d seen her ultimate done. It had drenched my clothing and body as I’d held her in my arms. She was just a girl, then, but I knew she was capable of suicide. I’d saved her, then, I couldn’t now. Not short of putting her in a padded room.

“You say you’re done. Do you plan to kill yourself?”

Her eyes lifted again. No tears. Nothing. She was more stoic than ever.

“No.”

“Then what do mean? How do you plan to live out your days here?” Silence.

“I asked you a question, slave. Answer it.”

“I am no slave. Not to any master who buys me, and sure as hell not to you. The moment the winning bidder takes me is the moment I flip the roles. You can doubt me all you want, but I will not kneel to any man a moment longer. Let them beat me. Let them kill me. I will go down as Everleigh Davenport and no one will take that away from me. Don’t believe me?” She slowly closed the distance between us, “Have me whipped. See if break.”

I did slap her, then. I couldn’t stop myself. She was serious, and I had created this. My fear was coming true, but not in the way I’d imagined.

Dark hair covered her face from the impact but fell back as she straightened to glare into my eyes. She didn’t say a word, but she didn’t have to. I knew that look. It was mine. She wouldn’t be beaten at this game.