Chapter 53: Go to your mother

"No," I say, my voice coming out in a panicked gasp. "No, Jackson. Do not say that. Do not say you are staying away from me."

I take a fast step forward, closing the distance between us on the damp grass. My hands are shaking so badly I can barely control them. I reach out and grab the fabric of his dark hockey jacket, my fingers twisting into the material tightly. I press my forehead against his chest, refusing to let him look away from me.

"Maya, please," Jackson whispers.

His chest rises and falls rapidly against my face. He lifts his hands and places them gently on my shoulders, trying to push me back a few inches so he can look at my eyes. His grip is soft, but I resist. I tighten my fingers on his jacket, pulling myself even closer to him until there is no space between us.

"I don't care about what Sarah said," I sob, the hot tears finally spilling over my eyelids and running down my cheeks. My breathing becomes shallow and fast, my chest hitching as panic takes over. "Sarah doesn't know us. She doesn't know what we talk about when we are alone. She doesn't see how you look at me."

"She sees reality, Maya," Jackson says. His voice sounds thick and heavy. He stops trying to push me away and just lets his hands rest flat against my back, holding me tightly against him. "Look at what this is doing to you. You are crying every single day. You are losing your mother and your brother. I am causing a problem in your family just by existing near you."

"I don't care!" I yell, my voice cracking in the quiet afternoon air behind the shed. I lift my head, forcing him to look down at my face. My vision is blurry from the tears, but I can see the pain in his eyes. "I can handle my mother being angry. I can handle Leo being quiet. I can handle all of it, Jackson. Just do not leave me. You are the only place where I feel safe. If you walk away, I am alone."

Jackson stares down at me, and I see a single tear run down his cheek, tracing the line of his jaw. He looks broken. He lifts one hand from my back and uses his thumb to gently wipe the tears from my face, his skin freezing cold against mine.

"You don't understand, Maya," he whispers, his voice shaking violently. He drops his forehead down until it rests against mine, his breath warm on my lips. "It is not just about the arguments with your mother. It is about my father. He is watching everything. He knows you skipped school yesterday. He knows about the tension in your house."

I freeze, my fingers staying tightly locked into his jacket. "What do you mean? What did your father say to you?"

Jackson lets out a shaky breath, his eyes closing for a second. When he opens them, there is a look of fear in his expression.

"He told me that if I let my focus slip from the hockey contract, he will make sure your family gets evicted from your apartment building," Jackson says, his whisper so quiet I can barely hear it over the wind in the pine trees. "He owns the development company that bought your block last month, Maya. He can destroy your mother's life with a single phone call. He is just waiting for an excuse to do it."

My heart stops. A cold feeling settles deep into my stomach. I look at Jackson, realization hitting me like ice water.

"I am doing this to keep you safe," Jackson whispers, and his voice sounds hollow. "You think I am just a puppet, and maybe I am. But you don't know what I am actually dealing with behind the scenes, Maya. You don't know what I am forced to do to keep my father from ruining your life. If he finds out what I am actually planning... if he sees me with you again, he will destroy us both."

"We can figure out a way," I beg him, my voice rising as I pull on his jacket again, trying to shake him. I feel like a person drowning in deep water, reaching for anything to stay afloat. "We can hide better. We don't have to talk at school at all. We can just meet in secret at night. Please, Jackson. Do not do this to me. Don't walk away."

Jackson looks down at my hands on his chest. His face goes blank, the emotion draining out of him. He reaches down and wraps his fingers around my wrists.

"No, Maya," he says. His voice is suddenly steady, but it is the saddest sound I have ever heard. "We can't hide from him. I won't risk your family's house just because I am selfish enough to want you near me."

He peels my fingers away from his jacket fabric. I try to fight his grip, pulling back and trying to lock my fingers around his sleeves, but his strength is too much. He moves my hands away from his body, holding my wrists for one last second before letting go.

I step backward, my knees shaking so badly I feel like I am going to collapse onto the damp grass. My chest hurts from crying, and I cover my mouth with my hand to stop the loud, broken sobs from echoing across the empty athletic field.

Jackson takes two steps backward, moving out of my reach. He picks up his school bag from the ground and throws the strap over his shoulder. He looks at me one final time, his eyes empty.

"Go home to your mother, Maya," he says quietly. "Don't text me anymore."

He turns around and walks away from the wooden shed. He takes fast strides, his boots crunching against the gravel path as he heads toward the main parking lot. He does not turn his head around to look at me once. He just keeps walking, his dark jacket disappearing behind the row of tall pine trees.

I am left standing alone in the grey field. The wind blows through the trees, making me shiver violently under my sweater. My legs give out, and I drop to my knees on the cold, damp grass. I bury my face in my hands, and I cry until my throat is raw and dry. The silence of the empty field is unbearable.

"Maya!"

A sharp voice calls my name from across the grass. I hear the rapid crunch of footsteps sprinting down the gravel path, moving fast toward the equipment shed.

I do not lift my head from my knees. I keep my face buried in my hands, my shoulders shaking as the tears keep coming.

A second later, someone drops heavily onto the grass right next to me. Two arms wrap tightly around my shoulders, pulling me into a firm embrace. The scent of cheap laundry detergent and old paper fills the air. It is Sarah.

"I'm here, Maya. I'm right here," Sarah says, her voice sounding breathless and full of panic. She tightens her arms around me, pulling my shaking body against her school blazer. "I saw him walk away. I saw how fast he was going, and I knew something was wrong. I ran as fast as I could."

I lean into her, my fingers clutching at her sleeves just like I had clutched at Jackson's jacket moments ago. I let out a loud sob against her shoulder. "He left, Sarah. He's gone. He told me not to text him anymore."

"I'm sorry," Sarah whispers into my hair, her own voice sounding thick with emotion. "I shouldn't have said those things during lunch. I was just so angry about Leo, and I took it out on you. I didn't mean to drive him away like this."

"It wasn't just you," I choke out, my throat feeling tight and painful. I pull back slightly, looking at her through my swollen, blurry eyes. "His father is threatening to evict my family from our apartment. Arthur Thorne owns the building now. Jackson is leaving me to keep us from losing our home. He thinks he is a monster."

Sarah's eyes go wide, her face turning pale in the grey afternoon light. She stares at me in shock, her jaw dropping open slightly. "Oh my god. Maya... I didn't know it was that bad."

"Nobody knows," I say, my voice dropping into a hollow whisper as I look back toward the empty path where Jackson vanished. "He is carrying all of it by himself, and now I am alone."

Sarah reaches up and gently pushes a strand of damp hair away from my face. She looks at me with a serious expression. "You are not alone. You still have me. Let's get off the ground, Maya. It's freezing out here."

She stands up first, then reaches down to grab my hands, pulling me up onto my feet. My legs are still trembling, but Sarah keeps her arm wrapped around my waist to support my weight. Together, we pick up my backpack from the grass and begin the quiet walk back toward the school gates, leaving the empty field behind us.