Chapter 18: The shove

It smells of sweat in the school weight room. It’s the loudest place in the building—the rhythmic clank-clank of iron plates and the heavy bass of a workout playlist usually drowning out everything else. I stand in the doorway, my fingers curled tightly around the butterfly pin in my pocket, my eyes scanning the room.

I find him in the back, away from the younger players. Jaxson is at the bench press, his muscles straining against the weight, his face a mask of pure, concentrated focus. His wrist is heavily taped—my handiwork from last night—and I can see the way he winces every time he locks out the bar.

I wait until he racks the weight and sits up, gasping for air. I move quickly, weaving through the machines until I’m standing in his space.

"We have a problem," I whisper, my voice barely audible over the music.

Jaxson doesn't look up immediately. He wipes his forehead with a towel, his chest still heaving. "I know. The photo is everywhere, Maya. I tried to find the source, but it’s a burner account."

"It's worse than the photo," I say, leaning in closer, my eyes darting around the room to make sure we aren't being watched. "Miller cornered me in the library. He was... nice. Terrifyingly nice. He was asking if I could trust him, telling me he knew something was 'deeper' between us. He’s fishing, Jaxson. He doesn't have proof yet, but he’s waiting for me to slip."

Jaxson’s jaw sets. "That snake. He’s playing both sides."

"And Chloe is on a warpath," I add, my heart beginning to race again. "She’s checking every girl in the hallway for hairpins. She knows about the butterfly pin in the photo. If Sarah hadn't warned me, I’d be finished."

We are standing too close. I can feel the heat radiating off his skin, and for a second, the memory of the car—the way he tasted, the way he held me—threatens to shatter my focus. He leans closer to tuck my strand.

I’m about to tell him about the way Miller looked at me when the heavy double doors of the weight room swing open.

"Thorne! What the hell are you doing?"

It’s Coach Miller. He’s standing there with a clipboard, his face turning a bright, angry shade of red. Behind him, a group of three sophomores from the junior varsity team are lingering, their eyes wide as they take in the scene.

My blood turns to ice. If the coach thinks we're friendly, the rumor mill will finish what Miller started.

Jaxson reacts before I can even blink. His face transforms from concern to a sneer of pure, unadulterated coldness. Without a word of warning, he reaches out and shoves me backward.

"Get out of my face, Vance!" he roars, his voice echoing off the metal rafters.

I’m not prepared for the force of it. My heels catch on the edge of a rubber mat, and I go down hard, my palms stinging as they slap against the floor. The air leaves my lungs in a sharp whoof.

"I told you to leave me alone!" Jaxson continues, his voice dripping with a fake, practiced disdain. He stands over me, towering like a mountain, his shadow swallowing me whole. "Just because I sit at your table doesn't mean you get to come in here and beg for more money. Get lost."

"Thorne! That’s enough!" Coach roars, marching over. He grabs Jaxson by the shoulder and spins him around. "I don't care how much of a star you are, you do not put your hands on a student. You want to act like a thug? You can go sit in the bleachers for the next game. Get to my office. Now!"

Jaxson doesn't look at me. He just grabs his bag, his face a mask of stony indifference, and storms past the coach. The group of sophomores scramble out of his way, whispering and glancing back at me with a mix of pity and mockery.

"You okay, kid?" Coach asks, reaching down to help me.

"I'm fine," I mutter, scrambling to my feet. I don't take his hand. I just grab my bag and run in the opposite direction, toward the back exit that leads to the equipment shed.

I’m shaking. My palms are scraped, and my heart is hurting in a way I didn't expect. I know it was an act. I know he had to do it. But for a second, looking up at him from the floor, he looked exactly like the boy from a year ago.

I reach the secluded area behind the shed, leaning my head against the cold corrugated metal. I’m trying to steady my breathing when I hear the sound of heavy footsteps running toward me.

"Maya!"

Jaxson rounds the corner, his face pale, his breath coming in short, jagged gasps. He reaches for me, his hands trembling as he grabs my shoulders.

"Are you okay? God, Maya, I’m so sorry," he says, his voice thick with a desperation I’ve never heard before. He reaches for my hands, turning them over to see the red, angry scrapes on my palms. "I didn't mean to shove you that hard. I just—I saw them."

"I know," I whisper, my voice shaking. "I saw the coach."

"Not just the coach," Jaxson says, pulling me into the shadow of the shed, away from any potential eyes. "There were three JV kids right behind him. One of them had his phone out. If I hadn't pushed you away, if they’d caught us whispering like that... it would have been over. They would have known it was you in the photo."

He pulls me into his chest, his arms wrapping around me so tight I can barely breathe. He buries his face in the crook of my neck, his heart hammering against mine like a trapped animal.

"I hated it," he mutters against my skin. "Looking at you like that... treating you like that. It felt like I was breaking my own soul."

I relax into him, my forehead resting against his damp shirt.

"They're going to keep watching," I say, pulling back just enough to look at him. "Miller, Chloe, the others. We can't keep doing this, Jaxson. We’re going to slip up."

"Then we end it," Jaxson says, his eyes turning cold and dark. "We stop playing defense. Miller thinks he’s the one holding the cards? Fine. Let’s see how he plays when we burn the deck."

He looks at my hands again, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, clean handkerchief. He carefully wraps it around my hand, his touch so gentle it makes my throat ache.

"Go to the nurse," he whispers. "Tell them you tripped. I’ll meet you tonight. Same place."

I nod, watching him walk away.