Chapter 38: The Mother's Choice

"I need to see her," I told Cole. "Before we go to Morgana."

"Are you sure?"

"No. But I have to talk to her."

We drove back to the gym. My mother was still locked downstairs. Waiting.

"I'll wait outside," Cole said.

"Thank you."

I walked in alone. My mother sat on the bed. She'd been crying. Her eyes were red.

"You came," she said.

"You called. You said you'd do it." I stayed by the door. "Why?"

"Because it's right. It's the only thing I can do." She wiped her eyes. "I destroyed you and James. This is how I fix it."

"You can't fix it. James is dead. Nothing brings him back."

"I know. But I can save you." She stood up. Came closer. "When do we do it?"

"Tomorrow night. Before the moon sets." I pulled out Morgana's paper. "You say these words three times. 'I give my life for hers.' Then you die. I come back."

She took the paper. Read it. Her hands shook.

"Will it hurt?"

"I don't know. Probably."

"Good. I deserve pain." She looked at me. "Will you forgive me? After I'm gone?"

I thought about it.

"Maybe. Not right away though."

"That's fair." She folded the paper. "What happens to my body?"

"We bury you with James. Together."

More tears fell. "I'd like that. Being with my son again."

We stood quiet. So much to say. No words that felt right.

"I'm sorry," she said. "For everything. For hurting you. For picking money over my kids. For being awful."

"I know."

"Do you hate me?"

"Sometimes. But not always." I looked at her. "You were broken too. Your parents hurt you like you hurt me. It just kept going."

"That's no excuse."

"No. But it explains things." I took a breath. "I'm stopping it. When I come back, if I come back, I'm doing better."

"You'll be a good mother someday. Better than me."

"That's easy. You set the bar low."

She almost smiled.

"Can I ask you something?" she said.

"What?"

"The soul stone. Are you using it?"

"How do you know about that?"

"I still know people. They talk." She sat down. "Claire came this morning. Told me about the stone. About the host thing. How you live but someone else fades away."

"What did she want?"

"She wanted me to be the host. Hold your soul. Let you eat me from inside." My mother's voice was quiet. "Said it was fair. I spent years trying to kill your spirit. Now my spirit gets killed by yours."

My stomach turned. "What did you say?"

"I said no. I'm dying tomorrow in the ritual. Can't do both." She looked at me. "But she's going to ask someone else. Someone who loves you. Be careful."

Cole. She was going to ask Cole.

"I have to go," I said.

"Wait." My mother stood. "Can I hug you? One last time?"

I didn't want to. Everything in me said no.

But she was dying tomorrow. For me.

"Okay."

She walked over. Put her arms around me. Held tight.

She smelled the same. Expensive perfume. Hairspray. Like home.

But home was never safe with her.

I pulled away first.

"Goodbye, Mother."

"Goodbye, Lita. I'll see you again. Someday."

I left before I cried.

Outside, Cole was walking back and forth. Worried.

"What happened?"

"She said yes. Tomorrow night. Moon sets at eight. We do it then."

"And after? After she dies and you come back?"

"I don't know. Depends if Morgana's telling the truth."

"We're going to see her now. Find out."

We got in the truck. Started driving.

Morgana's place was an old bookstore downtown. Closed. Dark. The door was unlocked.

We walked in. Shelves full of books everywhere. Candles gave light.

"Hello?" I called.

"Back here." Morgana's voice.

We walked through. Found her in a small room. Crystals everywhere. Herbs hanging. A table with ritual stuff on it.

"You came. Both of you." She smiled. "Good. You both need to hear this."

"Hear what?" Cole asked.

"The truth about the soul stone. How to use it without killing the host." She pointed at chairs. "Sit."

We sat.

Morgana picked up the soul stone. It glowed in her hands.

"This can hold a soul. True. But Claire didn't tell you something. There's a way to share a body without eating the host."

"How?" I asked.

"Balance. The soul can't take over. Has to live together. Like roommates." She put the stone down. "The host has to be strong. And the soul has to hold back. Not push. Not dominate."

"That sounds impossible," Cole said.

"It's hard. Most people fail. The soul wins. Host fades away." Morgana looked at me. "But you're Luna Alpha. You have control. If anyone can do it, you can."

"Who's the host?" I asked.

"That's your choice. Someone who loves you. Someone strong enough." She stopped. "Someone willing to risk dying if you lose control."

Cole's hand found mine.

"No," I said. "Not Cole. He can't be the host."

"Why not?"

"I won't risk him. I won't slowly kill him."

"You won't have a choice soon. Time's running out." Morgana pulled out a map. Red marks everywhere. "Demon attacks. Thirty in the last hour. They're breaking through. War starts tomorrow night. Not in two days. Tomorrow."

My heart stopped. "That's when my mother dies. When we do the ritual."

"Yes. The demons know. They're trying to break through before you finish." Morgana looked serious. "So decide now. Tonight. Soul stone or death. Host or nothing. Choose."

"I can't choose that fast."

"Then you die for real. No coming back. Just death." She stood. "I'm trying to help. But you have to let me."

My phone buzzed. Text from Alex.

"Gym under attack. Demons everywhere. Get back now. We need you."

Cole read it. Jumped up.

"We have to go."

"Wait." Morgana grabbed my arm. Pressed something in my hand.

The soul stone.

"Use it or don't. Keep it close. When the moment comes, you'll know."

We ran out. Got in the truck. Drove fast toward the gym.

My phone kept buzzing. More texts.

"Three pack members down."

"Stacey's hurt bad."

"Where are you?"

"Breaking through the doors."

We were ten minutes away. Too far.

Cole drove faster. Ran red lights.

"I can't lose them," he said. "I can't lose the pack."

"You won't."

But I didn't know that. Didn't know if we'd make it.

The soul stone felt warm in my hand. Alive.

Like it was waiting.

When we got to the gym, smoke was everywhere. Windows broken. Screaming inside.

Demons. Lots of them. Fighting the pack.

"Stay behind me," Cole said.

"No. We fight together."

We ran inside.

Into hell.