Chapter 55 Memory of the Breeding Night
My skin was singing with the sharp, lingering heat.
The SLAP! still echoed in the small cabin, a violation and a shock. My knees felt weak, yet my grip on the couch, where my body was still bent over and shamefully exposed, was white-knuckle tight. Every instinct screamed at me to pull away, to cover myself, to run from the man whose hand felt like a branding iron.
"Stay still, little doe," Alpha Dawn had growled.
His voice was too close, too deep, anchoring me in a paralyzing mix of terror and a confusing, sickening curiosity.
I felt his large, calloused thumb begin to rub the spot where the impact had just been. It is a slow, mesmerizing friction against the burning skin of my right cheek. It was a strange kind of comfort, one that acknowledged the sting but didn't apologize for it. It was completely unsettling.
"Don't focus on the pain, Bambi," he murmured, his breath warm against my ear.
His voice had softened, and changed into a low, seductive rumble that felt like a caress.
The tension in the air hadn't lessened; it had simply shifted, becoming something more intimate, more dangerous.
He stopped rubbing and I held my breath, waiting.
SLAP!
It was harder this time, more focused, landing right next to the previous spot. A gasp, ragged and involuntary, tore from my throat. It didn't feel like a punishment—it felt like a violent awakening.
"Find the pleasure," he whispered the words like a dark command. "Just find the pleasure in the strike."
My head felt swimmy. The firelight danced on the walls, making the shadows shift like watching eyes. As if they were watching me. Pleasure? This was pain. Hot, stinging, undeniable pain.
I managed to push the words out, my voice cracked and thin. "How is that even… possible?"
His hand remained resting on my skin, it is heavy and possessive. "Patience," he simply replied. "Just be patient. You will find it soon enough."
He paused again, letting the heat settle, letting my nerves twang with nervous energy. The wait felt endless.
SLAP! (The third strike.)
I flinched, biting down on my lip to stop the cry, but a small, choked sound escaped anyway. My body shuddered.
SLAP! (The fourth strike.)
My body went lax on the couch. I was concentrating so hard on not feeling the sting that the surprise of the fourth impact actually made me moan. It wasn't a cry of pain; it was a confused, needy sound, a surrender to the intensity of the sensation.
The world seemed to tilt. That was… unexpected.
"How many are you giving me?" I asked, the words muffled against the couch cushion, my voice still shaky.
"Twenty," he answered, his voice devoid of any emotion, a simple statement of fact.
Twenty. I immediately straightened up, pushing myself off the couch, letting my gown—and the panties still bunched around my knees—fall back down into place, covering my shame. My butt cheeks were on fire, and not just the ones he had been striking.
Alpha Dawn's firm hand immediately shot out, wrapping around my arm. His fingers dug in just above the elbow.
"I told you not to stand up," he said, his voice instantly colder, the playfulness gone. His dark eyes were now hard as obsidian.
"Disobedience is not rewarded, little doe. For that, I'll add five more strikes."
He began to pull me back toward the couch, his grip like iron. I had crossed a line, and his immediate reaction was a swift escalation of the punishment.
Panic rushing in cold and sharp, cut through the confusing arousal. Twenty-five strikes?
This was too much. The thought of submitting to that many more, of letting him assert such total control, was suddenly terrifying.
As he tried to bend me over again, I wrenched my arm away from his grasp with all my strength and stumbled back a step.
"Ice!" I shouted, the word ringing out in the quiet cabin. The raw sound seemed to shock him.
He stopped moving instantly, his body freezing mid-action. The cold, dangerous look in his eyes instantly dissolved into one of total worry.
"Bambi? Are you alright? What is it? What's wrong?" he asked, taking a hesitant half-step toward me, his hand outstretched but not daring to touch.
Before he could bridge the distance, before he could figure out what had just happened, my hand swung out. The anger, the humiliation, the fear for Gideon, and the betrayal of my own body's reaction to his kink all fueled the blow.
SMACK!
It landed flush against his cheek. His head snapped back slightly, and a stunned look flashed across his face.
"You're crazy!" I yelled, tears of frustration and anger stinging my eyes. "What does one expect from a mad person like you? Finding something this crazy pleasurable? You think you can just… just hit me and expect me to like it? You're sick, Dawn! You're absolutely sick!"
He didn't rub his cheek. He didn't shout back. He simply stared at me, his gaze intense, assessing the raw emotion pouring off me. A slow, chilling smile started to curl the corners of his mouth.
"You've arrived at a decision," he stated, his voice now calm, almost conversational, but with a deep, knowing undertone. He walked past the couch to the small table and picked up his abandoned glass of liquor.
"And the decision is… you're going to let Gideon rot in jail. You won't save him."
"No!" I cried, shaking my head violently. "The decision is that you are so evil! You use people like pawns! You can't even understand what it means to care for someone! I am leaving!"
I spun on my heel, ready to bolt for the door, willing my legs to move past the lingering disorientation. But before I could take a second step, a large hand clamped onto my wrist. I was pulled back, stumbling against his hard chest.
Then, to my complete and utter shock, Alpha Dawn didn't restrain me. He dropped to his knees before me, his eyes locked on mine, looking up at me with an expression of open vulnerability that completely stunned me.
My impulse to run died instantly. I stood frozen, my breath catching in my throat, staring down at the Alpha of the Imperial Pack kneeling at my feet.
"Please, Bambi," he pleaded, his voice rough, stripped of its usual authority. "Don't leave me. Please." He reached up and gently clutched my hand, bringing the back of it to his lips. "You are the only one, Bambi. The only one I have ever wanted to perform such kinks with. You are the only one I want to command. The moment we shared that night… it made me believe you were the best person to perform the kinks with."
That night. He meant the night we first met as a breeder and her Alpha, the night my memories were wiped clean. He had erased my memory of that night!
My anger appeared again, overriding the shock of his kneeling submission. "What really happened that night?" I demanded, pulling my hand away. "Tell me the absolute truth, right now, or I'm walking out that door and I won't look back, even if you decide to kill every person I love!"
He paused, a flash of something painful crossing his eyes.
"You demanded I erase your memory," he finally said, his voice low and serious. "You also told me, quite forcefully, not to bring it back, even if you went on your knees and begged."
"How am I supposed to be sure you are not lying?" I challenged, crossing my arms over my chest, my heart pounding a fast rhythm.
He could be saying anything right now.
Alpha Dawn stood, his imposing height returning, but the desperate vulnerability in his eyes remained.
"I don't have the ability to revive the memory," he admitted, his gaze steady. "But I will tell you everything that happened that night, exactly as it occurred, and you will know if I am lying."
"I don't know how to check when someone is lying," I admitted.
A slow, intimate smile returned, but this time, it was softer, more genuine. "Yes, you do," he whispered. "All you need to do is kiss me. If my mouth tastes bitter, I was lying. If my mouth tastes sweet, I am speaking the truth."
He offered his cheek, a clear invitation. "We'll test it first," he said. "What I am about to say is a lie." He took a deep breath. "I am not an Alpha."
I hesitated, the offer feeling impossibly dangerous and ridiculously intimate, yet I was desperate for the truth. I stretched forward and pressed my lips lightly against his.
His mouth tasted immediately bitter, like old, spoiled wine and ashes. The taste was so pronounced that I instantly withdrew from the small kiss, scrunching up my face in disgust.
He chuckled, a low, pleased sound. "See? Now, what I am about to say is the truth, and my mouth will taste sweet if there is no lie in it."
I nodded softly, a knot of confusion and anticipation tightening in my stomach.
His dark eyes held mine captive. He spoke two words that made the world stop spinning, two words that completely blindsided me, throwing every single one of my carefully constructed defenses into utter chaos.
"I love you, Bambi."
I was completely taken aback. Love? After the whipping, the lies, the cruelty? It was the most shocking thing he could have possibly said. Yet, the bitterness of the lie was still sharp on my tongue, and I had to know.
Slowly, carefully, I reached up and stretched toward him, closing the small gap between us. I pressed my lips firmly against his.
And to my complete astonishment, his mouth tasted sweet. It was a pure, intoxicating flavor like honey and a rush of warm spice that spread through me instantly, chasing away the bitter residue of the lie from earlier. The sensation was overwhelming, the sweetness is a proof of truth that felt impossible.
Alpha Dawn's POV
The lingering sweetness of Bambi's kiss, the shocking, impossible truth of my whispered 'I love you', still felt like a phantom heat on my lips. It was a lie, of course. Not the kiss. The kiss was sweet, which was the trick of the lie-detector pheromone but the words. I didn't love her. I was obsessed with her, a cold, possessive need that felt far more dangerous than anything as soft as love. The moment I stood up, the vulnerability I'd used as a weapon vanished, replaced by the familiar, heavy mantle of Alpha Dawn.
FLASHBACK - THE NIGHT OF THE BREEDING PROCESS, FEW HOURS BEFORE FULL MOON
I was at the same cabin few weeks back, with Calandra. The cabin's air that is thick now with fear and strange arousal, felt merely oppressive, the woodsmoke and ancient power scents clashing on that fateful night. I turned away from the couch, my eyes settled on the old, scarred leather armchair I rarely let anyone sit in, where Calandra sat, quiet as a shadow, watching.
Calandra. My mother's eldest sister. The only person in this pack, maybe in the world, who knew the secret I carried. She was one of the few who had stayed on after I took the Alpha title. Calandra is a silent, disapproving observer of my reign.
"That was quite the performance, nephew," she said, her voice coming out as a low, dry rasp that didn't hold an ounce of judgment, only observation. She was leaning back, her hands folded primly in the lap of her dark, heavy gown. Her silver hair, coiled tightly at her nape, seemed to absorb the firelight.
"This is... challenging," I admitted, running a hand over the back of my neck.
Calandra gave a small, humorless smile, her dark eyes flicking to the Pack guards near the door. "Challenging indeed. Though you seem to enjoy the challenge far more than any Alpha should, Dawn."
I ignored the jab. "You didn't come all this way just to observe my unconventional courtship methods, Aunt," I said, my tone hardening, reminding her of the distance between us. "The full moon is hours away. Why are you here?"
Calandra sighed, a sound of ancient weariness. "It's about the Onyx Power, Dawn. The power you foolishly allowed to be dormant for too long."
The tension in the room peeked up, it was so tight it hurt to breathe. The Onyx Power. My curse and my greatest weapon. The inherited, corrupted raw power that coursed beneath my Alpha strength, blackening my soul, and making me stronger, crueler.
"I am fully aware of my condition," I said, pouring myself another finger of my darkest liquor, needing the burn for the events ahead. "It's contained."
"Contained?" Calandra scoffed, her voice rising slightly. "You've been suppressing a god's fury for years, Dawn. Look at your life. Look at the carnage you've wrought, the coldness you wield. That isn't all Alpha blood. That's the Onyx breaking free in fragments, shattering your humanity."
I took a slow sip, letting the liquor coat my throat. "Get to the point, Calandra."
"You know what the condition is," she pressed, leaning forward now, her eyes intense. "That power, that terrifying inheritance, is meant to be transferred the night you mate and bond with your true mate. She is the only vessel strong enough, the only wolf whose soul can accept the darkness and cleanse it into pure power, protecting you from being consumed."
"I am perfectly capable of handling it myself," I lied smoothly.
"No, you are not," she countered, her voice dropping back to a whisper. "And you know it. The instability is growing. The tremors... they're getting worse. You need to find her, Dawn. You need to find your mate."
I rubbed my temples, a flash of genuine anxiety I quickly masked. The "tremors" were a recent, terrifying development. Moments where the Onyx Power developed, threatening to break through my control, turning me into something unrecognizable and monstrous.
Calandra's gaze was piercing. "Dawn, you have not mentioned this to anyone else, have you? That you possess the Onyx power?"
"No," I replied instantly, the one truth I held absolute. "No one else knows. Not even Jasper, not the Luna." My power was my secret, my edge, and my shame.
"Good. Don't tell anyone. This secret must remain between us," she stated firmly. "Only the two of us. Anyone else finding out—especially anyone with ambitions—would see you as a ticking time bomb, ripe for assassination."
She paused, letting the sincerity of the threat hang around the air. "The reason you are carrying this deadly weight, Dawn, is because you have not married your mate. Odessa is far from your mate. The power is being stored, not transferred. It is a corrupted battery, not a flowing river."
I braced myself, knowing what was coming next. The condition.
"If you do not find and bond with your mate within ten days of this full moon," Calandra continued, her voice hard, "the power will break you. Not just your control, but your very form. It will shatter your wolf, and your mind, beyond any repair."
My jaw clenched. Ten days. The urgency felt like a challenge. Of course, it was.
A sharp rap on the cabin door broke the silence. The timing was almost comically inconvenient. I growled low in my chest, annoyed.
"Enter," I commanded.
A young male warrior, barely out of training, rushed in, keeping his eyes respectfully lowered. "Alpha! I apologize for the interruption. The three nominated breeders are waiting for you in the receiving chamber, as instructed."
Calandra's head snapped up, her silver eyes instantly fixing on me. The news, which should have been mundane, suddenly held a new, intense focus for her.
"I will be there in a few minutes," I dismissed the warrior, my eyes locked on Calandra. The warrior bowed and quickly backed out.
I watched him go, then turned to face Calandra.
"Has the breeding process started?" she asked, her voice low and sharp with sudden interest.
"Yes," I confirmed, taking a heavy breath.
Calandra leaned back again, a slow, knowing light dawning in her eyes.
"Then your search is over, Dawn," she declared, her tone absolute. "Your mate is among those final three nominated breeders."