Chapter 17: Chapter 17.

Jane's POV.

I opened my eyes and it was the same familiar space—the hospital...again.

At least this time I wasn't alone with Adrian. A doctor and a nurse were here too, examining the IV fluid connected to my wrist.

Noticing I was awake, the nurse informed the doctor. "She's awake, sir."

The doctor looked at me, her smile radiant. "How are you feeling now, Mrs Blackwood?" She asked.

"I feel..." I looked at Adrian, and pain cut through my heart. "... tired," I finished off. I was really tired...tired of everything.

The doctor smiled, "it's normal for you to feel tired. You'll get better, " she assured me, and I wanted so hard to have faith in her assurance.

She turned to Adrian. "Mr Blackwood, please, come with me to my office."

"No," I negated immediately, not because I was insecure, but because I needed awareness. "If it's about me, please, say it here." I said.

After a short moment if hesitation, she nodded, "okay."

"Mr. Blackwood," she began, directing the talk at Adrian. "What your wife showed was signs of miscarriage," she dropped the word and my ears rang.

My hand moved instinctively to my stomach, fear building inside of me. My eyes stung with tears immediately. "Doctor, is my baby okay?" My voice cracked.

"Yes," she turned to me, "but not for long," she added.

"The first trimester is the fragile stage of pregnancy, and you happened to not handle it properly, therefore your baby is in an even fragile stage now. In a critical condition," she continued.

Adrian should be blamed for this, but I didn't blame him because it wasn't his fault, it was mine. My foolish heart is to blame for everything. It let Adrian affect it. It let Adrian affect us...me and my child.

"So," Adrian's voice came out raspy before he gave a little cough to clear it up. "So what could have caused this?" He asked.

"A lot of things contributes to cases like this. Among them, the most popular, and most common are stress, trauma, emotional swings, malnutrition."

He looked at me, and then faced the doctor again. "And what could be done now...to save the baby?" He asked.

"Save the mother, and you save the baby," she responded.

The room fell into silence until the doctor spoke again. "With proper care, they'll both be fine."

"Her meds will be sent to you, and she'll be discharged after the IV fluid is fully consumed," she added before leaving the ward with the nurse.

Silence enveloped us once more until he spoke. "Are you alright?" He asked.

"You heard the document, the baby will be fine," I answered, knowing that's all he cares about, not me.

He nodded, and looked away.

My heart sank. His action really proved that he indeed only cared about the baby.

"You put the child in harm's way, why?" He asked.

I scoffed. "Do you really not know the answer to that silly question of yours?"

"If I knew I wouldn't be asking you..." he paused as he turned to look at me. "...I'd be taking actions against you by now," he finished off with utmost seriousness.

I scoffed. Actions? After everything he's done he's thinking of taking actions against me? Wow!

"Actions?" I asked him. "What actions?"

"That'll depend on the answer you give to my question," he responded.

I laughed. I laughed so hard I wanted to grind him whole.

"You," I spoke finally. "You're the one who's killing the baby," I revealed, and a flash of horror cut through his eyes before he masked it with his usual aloofness.

"Killing my baby?" He scoffed. "I'm his father!"

"You don't get to be a father just by planting your fucking seeds in a woman, you become a father by taking responsibility!" I yelled so hard that an ache shot through my head.

I held my head, shutting my eyes for split seconds before opening them to find Adrian's jaw tight with anger, his fists clenched tightly.

Good, he's angry.

"Also, now that I remember it," I put my head down from my head. "The marriage was a contract of three years, why did you hide it from me?" I questioned him.

"The marriage ended already, didn't it? Whether you found or not doesn't matter anymore," he said, his face holding no remorse.

I felt my blood boil, and my fists clenched so hard I could feel the needle of the IV fluids line pierce through my vein deeply. But the pain it inflicted on me was nothing compared to the one in my heart.

Without any further words, he opened the door and left the ward.

I wanted to cry but I tried hard not to. How did I agree to this? How did I agree to any of this?

I looked to my sides, frantically searching for my phone but it was nowhere to be found.

I needed to call Ethan, I needed to hear his soothing voice. I needed my best friend, the only person in the world who would comfort me without asking any questions.

A nurse walked in with a tray and walked towards my IV fluid that I suddenly realized was on its last few drops.

Few seconds later, she disconnected it from my wrist, and flashed me a smile, "how are you feeling now, ma'am?"

"Please, may I borrow your phone?" I said out of the blue.

She looked surprised, not expecting such an answer from me before she finally replied, "sure."

Pulling her phone out from her pocket, she gave it to me then left the room, giving me some privacy.

I dialed Ethan's number. Of course, I know it like the back of my palm.

After a few rings, he picked up, "hello," his deep voice rang from the line.

Hearing his voice, I couldn't hold the sob any longer.

He listened first for some seconds before asking, "are you... alright?"

I couldn't give an answer. All I did was cry. He didn't say a word, he just listened patiently.

"If you're in danger, please, tell me so I can help," he said after a minute.

"I'm not," I finally managed to speak.

"Jane?" He recognized my voice instantly.

"You're using someone's number, what happened? Where are you? Are you alright?" He rushed me with questions, the concern in his voice clear.

"I'm fine," I answered.

And that was it, no further questions from him. That was one thing I loved about him, he'd never press for answers I wasn't ready to give. He only listened to me.

If there's anything I've learned so far, it's regretting the fact that I didn't choose myself.

I let go of myself, my happiness, my life for others and their happiness.

In my thirty years of life, all I did was live a shadow of it. But now? Now it's high time, I live my life in the remaining days I have left. Life is short, I've misused it enough.

"Ethan," I spoke again. "Do you still need a clerk?" I asked, and the line went silent. Of course, for someone who I told earlier today that it's too late for me to do anything for myself.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do...I still do," he stuttered.

"Good. You just got one," I said.

"What?" He was shocked.

"I'll see you at the courthouse tomorrow," I said, and ended the call.

I'm done living for others. It's time to live for myself...and for the tiny heartbeat depending on me.