Chapter 10

Cosette held a hand to her fluttering heart as she watched Lord Covaci disappear from view, both disappointment and relief filling the entirety of her being. A part of her enjoyed having him near, but it only made her fall apart into nervous pieces. This union wasn’t off to a great start on her end, but he had been nothing but kind.

She shut her door behind herself and breathed out a sigh. She had been entirely willing—yet terrified—to fulfill any expectations his lordship had of her. But she was grateful he wouldn’t rush her.

“You dunce!” she finally chided herself in the safety of her solitude, kicking the corner of the armoire at her incompetence. “You can’t even speak to your mate. What is wrong with you?”

Burying her face into her hands, she forced herself to take several deep breaths. She was mated now. With a very kind, very handsome vampire. Even though it was difficult, she couldn’t not speak to him for the duration of their days. She had to find a way to ease into it, no matter how uncomfortable and anxious she felt.

As soon as her embarrassment wore off, she allowed herself the opportunity to take in her surroundings. Her chambers were spacious with plenty of room to walk, or pace if she needed to, with a large bed against the center of the farthest wall, a desk near the window with a cushioned seat to gaze out into the gardens on the south side of the manor, and her armoire was filled with her dresses from the castle.

When she spotted a familiar box, she rushed over in a moment of panic and flung the lid open, only to sigh in relief when she found her treasures intact, including the seashell Lord Covaci had given her years earlier.

Her face paled as she held her seashell close to her heart. What would he think if he found out she had kept it all these years? She would be thoroughly embarrassed. In no way did she want him to discover its existence.

Tucking her shell away and clasping the opal pearl necklace around her neck, she continued wandering the room. She ran her fingers over the soft bedspread. She touched the posts on each corner of the bed frame. And then she found herself at the desk beside the window, opening each drawer to find stationery, parchment, and ink. Although she rarely wrote letters—contrary to what Lord Covaci might think as they had written back and forth through their week of engagement—there was one letter, in particular, she thought she needed to write.

She lowered herself into the chair, her heart pounding as she pulled out a piece of parchment and took up a quill in her hand. Her tongue might not work, but her hand managed to find the words.

Lord Covaci, I am also pleased to have had the opportunity to meet you today. I have only spoken to your sister, Lady Degore, a handful of times, but she most certainly made me feel like a part of the family. I am grateful.

My father has taken an immediate liking to you, something of which I am also grateful for. He may be a nosy old hawk, but I deeply respect his opinions of others. Thank you for making me feel welcome. I think I will like it here.

Cosette The letter certainly didn’t sound personal as if she had written it to her mate, but it was the best she could do.

Folding the letter in half, she crossed her room and took a deep, steadying breath as she placed her hand on the door leading to Lord Covaci’s chambers. She paused for a moment, listening. But no sound came from within. For the moment, it was safe to enter.

As she turned the handle, she braced herself for the accompanying burn when vampires didn’t have permission to enter a room. But to her surprise, no burn came. She entered without incident.

His chambers smelled like wood shavings and varnish. Small, wooden carvings adorned every inch of the writing desk. A soft smile found her lips as she crossed the room and picked up a carving of an owl frozen in motion, the size of her hand. It hunched over with wings halfway spread as if ready to leap off a branch.

She trailed her fingers over the intricate details of the feathers, over each bump and groove in the wood.

A master craftsman, indeed. What other hidden talents did he possess?

After placing the carving back down to join the others, she approached the neatly made bed, which didn’t match the disheveled appearance of the desk. A furious blush flamed her cheeks. Nothing risqué would be happening tonight, but the fact that it could happen someday was enough to fluster her.

“Stop thinking about it,” she whispered to herself as she braved the action of setting the letter against Lord Covaci’s pillow before making a hasty retreat to her room.

She changed into her nightgown and climbed onto the bed, leaning back against the frame while clutching a pillow to her chest. Trepidation filled every corner of the room, and more than once, she nearly gave in to temptation to sneak back into his room to retrieve her letter.

An hour passed, and still he didn’t arrive. She groaned into her pillow when she couldn’t stand the suspense any longer.

“Oh, for pity’s sake.”

She set the pillow aside and started to move to get off the bed when she heard a noise in the hall. She froze, her heart pounding so loudly she feared it might shake the entire estate. Only moments later, Lord Covaci’s door opened and closed, quiet footsteps on the other end of the door. Those footsteps stopped, and she clutched the pillow tighter to her chest as she waited.

To her surprise, he chuckled, and she smiled. He was reading her letter. But then her smile fell into alarm when his footsteps stopped at the door that separated their rooms. For a moment, she thought he might enter. But he must have thought better of it because the footsteps echoed away from the door, allowing her to release the breath she had been holding.

Smiling to herself, she sank back into her pillows and curled into a ball. Yes, she thought she might like it here.

****

Cosette very quickly changed her mind about thinking she would like it.

The moment she stepped one foot outside her bedroom door in the morning, two maids curtsied as if they’d been waiting for her. With wide eyes and a pounding heart, she slammed the door closed and retreated to the very corner of the room.

This was not a safe place. There was nowhere to hide.

The first thought to enter her mind was to call for her father and have him whisk her back home. But she didn’t belong to her father anymore. She couldn’t do such a thing.

Home…

A deep ache settled in her heart, and she held her hands to her chest, not able to stop the tear that rolled down her cheek. This was not home.

A knock sounded at the door. “Your Ladyship,” a female voice said from the other side. “We are the maids in charge of cleaning your room. We thought to introduce ourselves.” Cosette pressed her hands tighter to her chest as more tears came, but the ache remained. Another knock at the door. “Mistress?”

Not able to handle the people, the voices, the knocking, she grabbed a shawl and wrapped it securely around herself, partially hiding her hair as she burst from the room. The maids jumped back, startled as she ran past. She darted down the hallway, scurried down the flight of stairs, and passed servants who watched as she fled past.

Too many servants. Too many people.

When she rounded the corner, she crashed into the startled Lord Covaci. Her eyes widened when he took a step toward her, and she took a step backward.

“Cosette—”

She spun on her heel and fled in the other direction. Red-tinted vampire tears blinded her as she ran. She felt as if she were suffocating, and she couldn’t find a sliver of air.

To her relief—and dismay—she burst outside only to shrink away from a patch of sunlight that broke through the clouds. Though, upon hearing footsteps behind her, she braved the sunlight and hissed as the pain seared her cheek. But she kept running. Away from the people. Away from the chaos. Away from the unfamiliar. Until at long last she ducked underneath a willow tree that hid her completely from view. She pressed her hand reassuringly against the trunk of the tree, catching her breath—and holding back a bout of panic.

She didn’t want to be here. She never should have agreed to become Lord Covaci’s mate. She couldn’t do this.

She clamped her hand over her mouth as the sobs started. Her hands helped to muffle the sound, but it did nothing to erase her ache.

The footsteps sounded again. Closer. But hesitant. And she knew who they belonged to even before he parted the hanging greenery.

She pulled her shawl tighter around her head and edged herself around the trunk of the tree to keep out of Lord Covaci’s sight. She only just managed to stifle her sobs, but she couldn’t hide her sniffing.

“Did something happen?” he asked softly, moving closer while she tried to keep the tree between them. It didn’t work. He positioned himself so if she tried to move to the other side of the tree, she would still run into him. She settled on looking away to hide her face from his view.

When she didn’t speak, he tried again. “Cosette, please tell me what happened.”

Her voice shook as she attempted to answer. “Too…too many people.”

“Oh,” was his answer. It was not unkind. Rather, he sounded guilty. He moved in closer, and still she averted her gaze, but she didn’t move away from him. Although he was terrifying to her, he was safer than anything else on the property. “I didn’t realize, Cosette. But…this is how many servants it takes to run this estate. However, I’m sure I can take up more work if it makes you more comfortable. I want you to be happy here.”

Now it was her turn for guilt to hound her. People would lose their income if Lord Covaci let them go. And for him to be forced into doing more work because of her?

“No,” she whispered.

She risked a glance at him but immediately looked away when her heart pounded too hard. She wasn’t sure what to do. In the castle, everything and everyone in her life had been familiar and predictable and comfortable. None of her family members scared her. Well, with the exception of her eldest brother, Jarom. He was much older than her, which had created a gap between them, physically and emotionally. The servants at the castle mostly ignored her, which was to her liking because she could pretend they weren’t there.

“Tell me what you need,” he said. His fingers brushed her hand, and she instinctively flinched away.

“I-I-I warned you,” she finally said. “About me. But you insisted.”

“I did,” he agreed. “I absolutely insisted. And I don’t regret it a single bit. But I never thought it would start out easy. This is my estate. I am familiar with it and the people here. You are not. I can see why it might be terrifying. We can do things differently. What will help you?”

Her heart warmed to match the searing heat on her cheek from the sunlight’s handprint.

Taking a step away from him, she said, “No one must bother me in my room.”

“No one?” he asked, taking a step closer. “And what if I am dying with an iron stake through my heart, and the only way for you to know is if a servant bothered you in your room?”

He was teasing her, and to her delightful surprise, it helped lift a bit of the deep ache inside her heart.

“I…suppose there are special circumstances,” she whispered. She took another step away. “And…and I need places…to be alone.”

She clutched her shawl tighter around her, swallowing hard when he moved closer.

“This is a good place,” he commented, and even though she couldn’t see his face with her gaze directed downward, she could see his feet. He stood very close to her. “As I said before, the garden is yours. If you don’t want servants in your garden while you are out here, I can make it happen. Nicolae mentioned you enjoy music. A music room to yourself. No servants unless they must clean the room. Does that satisfy you?”

Her heart felt much lighter. If she knew what to expect, she could be prepared. “Not even you in my music room.”

“I’m not allowed?” His voice feigned hurt. “Then where am I to see your beautiful face?”

Holding back a smile became difficult, her lips twitching with the effort. “You can help me garden.”

He chuckled. “So I am allowed in the garden but not in your music room. A fair trade.”

Her eyes sparkled with amusement, and she made the mistake of looking at him. He immediately sucked in a breath, lifting his hand to her face. Her heart pulsed loudly in her ears at the gentle way he held her chin, at least until she understood the reason for his concern. The sun had burned her face.

“Cosette…” he whispered, running his thumb over her cheek. “You mustn’t step into the sunlight. Does it hurt?”

She gazed back into his blue eyes only to find genuine concern in their depths. Her heart sparked with burning heat, crackling, smoldering.

Finding his touch too much to handle, she backed away, pulling on her shawl to cover the small wound. “I’m fine. Leave me. Please.”

He didn’t move for a long moment, but finally, he nodded. “I am never far away. You only need to call my name, and I will hear.”

He left the cover of the willow, and she stared after him, wondering what he meant. Her father was the same. He could hear Cosette call him even from across the kingdom. And in moments, he would materialize to her location. But…Lord Covaci wasn’t old enough yet to materialize. Was he?

The thought puzzled her, so she shook it away. In the meantime, the gardens were hers to explore. And if Lord Covaci kept his promise, no one would bother her.