Chapter 8: Chapter Eight

Downtown Applechester got a facelift about once a decade. A mix of franchises and small startups littered Main Street. The Cat Café was snuggled next to the four-dollar movie theater that still served over-salted popcorn. A mom-and-pop burger joint shared a wall with the bakery where Mom and I had ridden our bikes every Saturday until the divorce. Her favorite pizza place still stood next to laser tag, although the video store on the other side was now a hardware chain.

The driver’s ed building was still across the street from the Coney Island where Mom and I had lunch whenever she was in town. I had long ago forgiven her for choosing to take her dream job across the state after my folks divorced. Not wanting to switch school districts during high school or quit my internship at SHAP, I had stayed with my dad. I never regretted my decision because it brought me closer to my dreams.

But I really missed not having my mom around. It had been the little things—the cute notes in my lunch box, the afternoon walks where we talked about anything and everything, the self-manicures while watching our favorite movies, the affection. When I had a bad day, my dad wasn’t the soothing “you’ll get through this and be alright” type of guy. I think we had hugged a total of twenty-nine times in my life; one for every birthday.

“Mina,” he’d say, “learn how to get through it yourself to be a good agent. Bad days are part of the process. Don’t depend on anyone else, except you and your team.”

If Jake ever heard my thoughts, he’d probably mumble something about my complete lack of emotional availability, and then Sebastian would inevitably comment on this being the reason I was single. I mean, they weren’t wrong. There were things one had to give up to be the best.

But I missed my mom so much. She’d been traveling with her boyfriend halfway around the world for their charity foundation when I had my accident. We had talked on the phone the few times she had service, but I hadn’t seen her since Christmas.

I hadn’t been upset; I was used to her being gone for long stretches at a time. But as I climbed out of my car, emotion built thick in the back of my throat. I had the strangest urge to…cry? Absolutely ridiculous. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath.

When I opened the diner’s door, Mom stood up from the table, her smile lighting up the room as always. She rushed toward me and wrapped her arms around me. I tempered my immediate reaction to being touched—flipping my mother to the floor—and brought my arms up around her waist.

“Hi, baby,” she sang, her subtle but familiar floral perfume cocooning us.

She rubbed my back, her bracelets tinkling. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t come home and help you recover.”

I shook my head. “It’s okay. I’m fine.” And I was fine, even if part of me wondered if her being there would’ve made it more tolerable.

We broke apart, but she held on to my shoulders, giving me a long look. “You look beautiful.” She touched the edge of my hair. “I like this.” She let out a watery sigh and dropped her arms, then looked over her shoulder. I startled, surprised I’d missed that we had company.

My mom’s boyfriend smiled at me. “Hey, Mina. Hope it’s cool I crashed your lunch.”

“Of course,” I said, even though something inside of me twisted at the surprise of seeing him. I thought I’d have her all to myself for a few hours. “It’s good to see you, Isaac.”

We gave each other a one-armed awkward hug before we all sat down. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Isaac; he was pretty cool and made Mom happy. Was it weird he was only thirty-eight? A little. But what did I care?

I wish she would’ve told me he was coming. I hated surprises. I watched my mom as she leaned into him for a moment, a private smile on her face. How could I stay mad?

I tried to soak in all of her. Her blond hair, pulled back in its usual braid, had gone grayer at the temples, and the laugh lines around her blue eyes had deepened, but she looked healthy and happy. That’s all I ever wanted for her.

She handed me a menu as if I didn’t have it memorized. “I like this new haircut. Makes you look like a badass.”

“Very Pink circa 2017,” Isaac added.

I ran my fingers through the top. “Thanks. Thought it was better than the cut the hospital gave me.” I traced the scar on the back of my head with my pointer finger.

“I’m so glad you’ve moved to RD. You’ll be far less likely to end up like hamburger meat at the hands of some psycho.” She reached out and grabbed my hand. “I like you in one piece.”

I flinched. This is what happened when I didn’t suck it up and call her. “Actually, I didn’t get the promotion. Gotta work one more small job first.”

Mom’s cheery smile morphed into a scowl. She reached into a giant woven purse and pulled out her cell. Oh no.

“Mom, don’t call him.”

Isaac put his arm around Mom’s shoulder. “Beth, deep breath.”

She pointed her phone at me. “Was your father the reason you didn’t get the promotion?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, but—”

“Then I’m calling him. He always thinks he knows what’s best for everyone else. Ha!”

I put my hands over hers. “Mom, it’s okay. I’m doing an undercover office job. No dangerous high-speed chases involved.” Theoretically.

She sighed and dropped her phone onto the table. I gave her hands a long look, making sure they stayed still. My brow pinched at the gold band around her left hand. “That’s new.”

I looked up to find her exchange a look with Isaac. She was blushing. “I didn’t want to tell you over the phone. Isaac and I are getting married!” She grabbed his hand and held tight.

My stomach dropped. I threw a smile on my face before she noticed my reaction. “I’m so happy for you!” I managed. “When’s the wedding?”

I wasn’t upset Mom was getting remarried (I had never harbored the illusion she and Dad would get back together) and I absolutely approved of Isaac. Except it suddenly felt like she was going from “my mom” to “Isaac’s spouse.”

That was the most selfish thing I had ever thought. I looked down at the menu.

“It’s okay to feel weird about it. It’s a big change,” Isaac said.

Shut up, Isaac. I didn’t say that.

Mom nodded. “I know Isaac probably isn’t the man you envisioned your fifty-five year old mother with, but he makes me so happy.” She tugged my menu down and grabbed my hands. “I’ll always be your mom, no matter who I marry.” She squeezed me and then pulled back. She chewed the bottom of her lip while she focused on the menu.

My shoulders didn’t relax until the waiter came over. As per usual, I ordered my regular, not willing to try anything new. Mom and Isaac tried the special, always up for an adventure.

She thumbed her gold band and took a sip of her iced tea. “We haven’t picked a date yet, but probably in the next few months. Just a small thing.”

“We want to get married before our next trip,” he added.

That weird, thick-throat feeling was back, and my chest ached. I didn’t want her to leave again but being apart was more normal than being together for us. I just…wanted something. An anchor. It was like I had finally looked up from my map only to realize I was adrift at sea.

I took a sip of water and ignored the feeling. “Where’re you headed?”

“The Galápagos Islands,” Isaac explained. “We’re joining forces with a foundation that’s doing amazing animal conservancy work.”

While they continued to tell me more about their plan, I silently panicked that my mom was going to be in Ecuador for the foreseeable future. She’d be so far away. We’d talk at first every week, but the time change and her mission would interfere with our conversations, and soon they’d devolve into a few texts or an email with some cool photos.

Mom reached out and grabbed my left hand, cradling it between hers. “I know your life is here, but would you consider coming with us?”

I blinked up at her. “What?”

“Take two weeks off and come reset with us. I know the flight is long, but you’d get to make amazing memories and we’d be able to spend more time together.”

Go with them? I opened my mouth to respond but couldn’t find anything to say. I couldn’t. Not until this job was done and I got the promotion. But then what?

Then I’d continue to do my job. And continue not seeing my mom. And continue doing nothing but working and sleeping and occasionally watching television with my house ghost.

Wasn’t this what I wanted? Wasn’t this everything I had worked toward my entire life?

“I’ll think about it.” I could tell by their faces they didn’t believe me. I didn’t believe me, either.

They told me more about the trip until the food came. I just stared at my plate until my mom picked up my fork and put it in my hand. “Eat.”

I did.

“Mina,” Mom said, breaking through the silent awkwardness that had settled between us, “I just don’t want you to feel like you have no other options.”

“Options for what?”

“In case one day you feel too lonely in the life you’ve created for yourself.” She smiled her mom smile, the one meant to cushion the blow of whatever she said.

I frowned. “Being alone doesn’t make me lonely, Mom. It makes me a better agent.”

She shrugged. “I’m sure you’re right.”

Isaac, for his part, stayed silent.

When we had finished and she’d paid the check, I walked them to their smart car. It looked like it would crumple if someone sneezed too close to it, but they were determined to leave as small a footprint as possible.

She fussed over me for a moment. “I’ll call you when we have a wedding date set. Hopefully you can take the day off?”

I nodded. “Absolutely.”

She wrapped me in a tight hug and rocked us back and forth. “It’s okay to find new dreams.” She pulled back and put her hands on either side of my cheeks. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

With a wave, they slipped into the car and then out of the parking lot, leaving me standing there, reeling. How did she always know what to say to shake up my world like a snow globe? I pulled out my phone.

Me: Mom’s engaged.

Jake: Are we excited or upset?

Me: *shrug emoji*

Jake: Be there in an hour.

Jake let himself into my apartment just under an hour later. I was cocooned on the couch with my favorite blanket, having turned my AC down enough to accommodate the extra layers.

“¡Bendito Dios!” Reggie rushed over to Jake, having veered off his pace-a-thon with Sebastian. “It’s freezing in here and I’m dead.”

“She won’t talk to us,” Sebastian explained.

My partner dropped two pizza boxes on my coffee table, set his cane handle on the arm rest, then lifted my feet off the couch and slid in underneath them with a huff. He put a pillow between my foot and his thigh. “So, upset?”

“Excited?” I mumbled through my blanket.

“Then why are we watching, and I quote, ‘the worst serial killer documentary of all time?’”

“Because I can have simultaneous emotions?”

He reached forward and snatched the remote and paused the television. “Here’s the plan: We’re going to turn on something you don’t hate and I’m going to turn off your AC because I think it may start snowing in here. Then we’re going to eat pizza.”

“I hate pizza.”

“You love pizza and only tell yourself you hate it so you don’t eat it every day.”

Okay, that tracked. “Fine.”

Reggie sniffed and we all turned to look at him. “It’s just, you two are friendship goals.”

I rolled my eyes.

Sebastian elbowed him. “And I’m not these so-called friendship goals?”

Jake turned to me. “I better make sure I get that food sample first. I could not live with a ghost.”

I sighed and threw off the blanket. “These two are so emotional for ghosts.”

“Hey!” Reggie sniffed again. “Ghosts have feelings, too.”

“We can’t all be mostly dead inside like you,” Sebastian teased. “Well, figuratively speaking.”

“I’m not dead inside. I just don’t have any desire to express my emotions out loud.”

Jake snagged a pizza box and opened it, holding it out to me. “No, you just like to watch the same show five hundred times in a row and shove down all your feelings until they volcanically erupt and burn everyone around you.”

I nodded and snapped. “Exactly.” I grabbed a slice and shoved half of it into my mouth.

He shook his head. “I thought we liked Isaac.”

“We do like Isaac,” I argued through a mouthful of food.

“Then why are you mourning like you did when Supernatural ended?”

I sighed and stared at my hands. “I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just…she’s going to get married and then they’re off to Ecuador and she’ll have her new family with him and the animals she’s saving and her crew and I’ll never get her back.”

Jake grabbed some of my blanket and covered his chest, then leaned back on the couch. “I see.”

“See what?”

He turned to look at me. “She left a long time ago. She’s been to more countries than I can name. Isaac’s been in the picture for four years. Only one thing’s changed here, and that’s you.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Meaning?”

Jake ran a hand down his face. “You need a female friend or a girlfriend or something. You’d be less likely to punch them for saying things you need to hear.”

I play-kicked him. “The last thing I need is another person who’d be a liability.”

Sebastian tutted. “Yet you’re curious about why you’re single.”

“It’s on purpose.” Mostly.

Reggie heaved an exasperated sigh. “Can’t you all see my Mi Minita is just lonely?”

We all turned to stare at him. “I’m what?”

“Lonely?” Jake asked, his brow pinched.

Sebastian gave him a puzzled look before he turned to me, his head tilting as if he was coming to some realization.

“No,” I said.

“How am I the most emotionally stable person here? I’m dead.” Reggie just shook his head. “¡Ay por favor!” Sebastian opened his mouth, but Reggie just patted him on the shoulder. “No, mano, you have the emotional depth of a puddle.”

Jake grabbed a piece of pizza. “So, she’s got her coworker and two ghosts. Huh. I see your point.”

I play-kicked him again. He knew he was the younger brother I never had. “Call yourself that again and I’ll tell your stepmom about what really happened to her gingerbread house last Christmas.” He pinched my toes and I squeaked. “No touchy.”

“You’re so annoying. But I love your stupid face.”

“Ugh. Same.”

Reggie sighed and sat down in the orange chair. “If only I had changed the batteries in my carbon monoxide detector, I might be with sane people right now.”

“My sensibilities should be offended, but I’m inclined to agree with you,” Sebastian added, sitting on the arm of the chair.

Jake picked up the remote. “That’s it. We’re watching something not about murder.” He spun through my streaming and selected a Taylor Swift concert. “I expect you all to sing along.”

Reggie cheered. Sebastian just looked amused.

“I only know, like, three songs,” I admitted. “I don’t think…” She appeared on stage and my mouth fell open.

“You’re welcome,” Jake said. “Are you going into a bi-panic now?”

“Shush,” I ordered. “There’s a beautiful woman on my screen.”

“Speaking of beautiful women, has Carma contacted you yet?”

That broke through the bi-panic. “Why was your lead-in ‘speaking of beautiful women?’”

“Just checking in on your wobbly feeling.”

“The wobbly feeling is gone, thank you.” I mean, I wasn’t technically having it right now so it wasn’t a lie. “And no, not yet. I’m sure I’ll hear from her soon.”

He leaned back on the couch, his hands behind his head. “Keep me posted.”

As we watched the performance, I looked over the motley crew gathered in my apartment and couldn’t stop my smile. The ache in my chest from my mom’s impending wedding announcement had eased back into a dull throb. Sure, I may not have my mom, or a girlfriend, or more than one human friend, but I had these weirdos. That would be enough.

It had to be.