Chapter 38

2nd October 2015: 1:52 am.

Her brother had been shot, and she didn’t even touch him to see if he was still alive. She was too focused on one thing and one thing alone, my infidelity. I watched as she started to scream and picked up each photo as if her life depended on it. My head was spinning and my hands were shaking as I stood still, I didn’t know what way to turn. I could leave her and run out of here. Or I could try and comfort her? Just because I felt as if this was my fault somehow. Over the years I’d managed to gently persuade Li to do many things. I never asked her to kidnap Barbara and frame, Emma, but maybe with the constant complaints of not being able to officially divorce Emma, I’d given Li the impression that this was the best way forward.

I just couldn’t make sense of it all, it was as if one minute my heart was racing out of control and the other time, everything was happening in slow motion. For a split second I turned to face Will. He still had photos in his hand as if he was ready to sprinkle them on the floor. The motion he used to do it again, and it reminded me of the time that as a child, my parent’s housekeeper Alice used to sprinkle bits of chocolate on the cake. I don’t know why I flashed back to a memory, one that I had held on to so dearly in this dire situation. But Alice came to my mind. Her smile. Her voice, telling me that I was a good little boy when my dad and even mother told me that I was far from ever being one.

If Alice could see me now, then she would have to agree with them, that I was far from one. My parents were right from the start, but I was no longer a boy. I was a man with a child’s mind, trying to get out of a situation, one that I had clearly built and nearly to put an end to, before another life was lost. I turned to look at him; his eyes were focused on Li. I didn’t understand what she was looking at, so I came closer.

This wasn’t the time to be curious, but I couldn’t help myself. Emma had Will follow me. She had become stronger and wiser. Part of me should have been proud of the fact that she’d got up and taken things to a different level. One that I knew nothing about.

But as I saw the photos, I started to realize that this lifestyle, the one that I was so adamant to have had cost me so many things. It nearly had cost me my daughter’s life, if Will hadn’t stepped in. My marriage and now my mistress. The crazy one that would do anything to keep me.

Even the death of her brother hadn’t phased her. She only wanted me.

I saw a photo of myself, a couple of nights ago on the town with one of the girls in Marketing. She had been flirting as I bumped into her in the kitchen and her long blonde hair and blue eyes managed to sway me in her direction. The photo was outside her apartment. She was encouraging me to go in.

That was the problem with my cock; it seemed to take over my mind and make me lose all senses of control. Like a fucking child in a candy store, I wouldn’t think twice about what I was doing or the consequences of it.

“Li,” I whispered, and she ignored me as she moved from left-to-right. Every time picking up the photo and then the dropping it and looking at another one.

I knew that she wasn’t looking at who I was with, but rather when.

“I came here, to tell you about the hack. The real reason that it was going on, I took Barbara thinking that we’ll be together…”

She moved away from me as she stopped speaking and didn’t want to be anywhere near me. The man that she’d said was the love of her life so many times, had slowly but surely become the one that she was disgusted with as she swiftly moved towards Zhang.

“Zhang! Zhang!”

Li screamed out as she lifted his hand up and it dropped like a lead balloon and then she tried to force his eyes open, which were obviously shut. I should have left her, but the guilt of it all was running through my veins.

I didn’t even give a shit about the hack anymore. It was the least of my problems, things had escalated and spiralled out of control and not only was Li going to pay the price. I didn’t care if everything came out into the open. That could be what I fucking needed to make me realise that I’d been living my life in this bubble. One that I kept getting away with all sorts of shit and now I couldn’t win anymore, I was going to lose. I should have been scared. Fucking ran out of the door like a fucking loser, but I didn’t want to do that. It almost felt as if I needed to have some sort of redemption in my life and this was the time to have it.

Li was dangerous; there was no denying about that, she wasn’t an angel. But had I pushed her so far that she’d done all this, or was she like this all along? That part I couldn’t figure out as I picked up another picture and dropped it on to the ground.

I’d fucking lost control by playing a game, that I was obviously going to lose. I’d driven Emma to the extent of taking drugs and spying on me like some jealous lover. I knew that it wasn’t for her to do that, but I’d done that to her.

Then Li, I’d told her to sleep with the men, but not threaten the wives. I told her that it would be better for the business and she’d done it, but she took it too far. Anything that I needed she was ready to do, even if it meant that they'd be cheating on their wives. I’d been doing it for so long, that it had become second nature to me. I didn’t care about the effect that it would have on others.

My wife.

My mom.

My daughter.

After this shit was done, I’d tell them all about me being unfaithful, cheating, lying and scheming, my dad would probably disown me, but I didn’t fucking care. This was one big mess, and I knew that the only one that could clear it up was me, because at last I’d had to grow up and fucking take responsibility for my mistakes.

I walked up to Li and held her hand, “Look, we need to get out of there. There’s nothing you can do for Zhang.”

My voice was shaking, and I could see the hurt in her eyes. That was the only thing that I had my eyes on. Her eyes, trying to drum some sense into her, that enough damage had been done. I should have done something else, the old Ted, the fucked up one that got us all in this mess would have agreed with her. Told her that she’d done well and started working out the next plan, but I was done with him. He’d caused nothing but heartache and pain.

“Li, we need to leave. We can’t stay here,” I said.

She smiled at me. “You mean that we’ll run away together.”

She didn’t get it, and I had to set her straight.

“This has gotten out of hand, Li. Emma’s in prison, Barbara’s scared to death, and Zhang’s dead. What more can happen?”

“Her!” she snarled as she jerked her hand away from me. The gun was in her hand. She pointed it at me, screaming, “If I can’t have you then no one else can!”

I couldn’t say a word because I heard Will scream from behind me. I felt my body drop to the ground as the bullet hit my head and I was greeted with darkness. I should have lied to Li and made out that we were going to run away, but then she would have gone to jail and be planning her revenge. This thing I had started had spiraled out of control; maybe this was the best way to fix it because I knew that this was the end for me, and there was no turning back.