Chapter 23
1st October 2015: 20:13 pm.
Everything happened in a blur. I was taken in the car and watched as the lights flashed down the road. A chance of escape to find my little daughter was no longer an option. I hated myself more for not bringing my phone. That little object which had been flashing all day with either phone calls from Ted, Ralph, Elizabeth and Will would no longer be picked up by me.
I didn’t know if they’d found her or not.
“Did you find Barbara?” I whispered and both Detectives either ignored my question or they didn’t hear me, so I repeated it.
“Barbara, did you find her?”
Detective Dwight looked at me, I could see with his sad eyes as his mouth opened to say, “No,” that it was not a priority or they had given up hope.
“But you are still looking?”
Detective Russell said, “Yes.” Then he turned to Detective Dwight as if to say in some secret language that only police officers knew that we shouldn’t talk or have a conversation. I didn’t care about having a conversation, just the fact that my little girl was out there.
With someone that wasn’t me.
That was the part that frightened me the most.
When I was at the station, the first thing I did was call the school, just to find out if by some chance the person that took Barbara had taken her to school. They said that she wasn't there, then the Principle Nicola Wills wanted to discuss some other matters. I hung up, because every single time I thought that I had a glimmer of hope it was lost and came with it more disappointment.
At the station, I was escorted out of the car by Detective Dwight. I listened to his instructions as a female officer searched my body. She was looking to make sure that I had no objects on me. Which made me realize that even if I had brought my phone it was pointless, I couldn’t use it anyway. He told me that I was being charged with kidnapping which I felt was ironic seeing as I had stood in front of reporters and told the world what had happened to my little girl.
Once we were inside and the charges were read out to me, I thought that I would see Bentley. Ralph had said that he would come.
I looked to Detective Dwight and asked, “Is my lawyer here yet?”
He shook his head and said, “No.” That seemed to be the popular word at the moment.
“We will conduct an interview upon his arrival. He is on his way. In the meantime I am leaving you here with Officer Brenda. If you need then she will be able to take you to the toilet. If you want something to eat, just shout and she will get it for you.”
Officer Brenda stared at me for a minute and then said, “Let’s go, Emma,” as she took my arm and led me through the cold hallway.
I’d thought that she would be more friendly. Even try and strike up a conversation, maybe. I tried smiling, warming up to her, but then it was clear that she didn't want to be friends. Maybe she was disgusted by me. Her body language made it clear that I wasn’t liked. I didn’t know the reason for it. I should have asked her, but then I had nothing else to do. No where else to go, and as we reached the room she pointed me in the direction of sitting down.
“So, you can sit there. And just wait.”
“Where?”
Seeing the four chairs, the table and the white walls, it felt like a stupid question, but I wanted to see if she would respond and now that Detective Dwight and Russell were no longer around, maybe she would act differently.
“Anywhere.”
Then she closed the door and, even though she was in the room, I stood debating where to sit and then I realized it made no difference. They were going to interview me. Not charge me for now, but yet when they arrested me from the house they said that I had been charged. I was so confused about the process. The day. It felt as if it was dragging on for hours and it was only six.
Yet those fifteen minutes felt a lot longer as I sat in the room and waited. I didn’t ask for my rights. Anytime someone came into the room, I thought that it was news about Barbara. I stopped thinking about myself, feeling anything, but when that moment arrived and Bentley stepped in, I never thought that I would be happy to see him. But I was, for the very first time.
“I need a moment with my client. Before the interview.” Bentley had seriousness written all over his face.
Detective Dwight said, “You have fifteen minutes.”
“Emma, I decided to represent you. I didn’t want an Associate or someone Junior handling it. I decided to do it myself. This is getting messier by the minute,” he sighed and then he scratched his balding head and asked, “Have you been sitting here the whole time?”
I nodded.
“They never took you to a cell or took your fingerprints or anything?”
I shook my head.
He sighed and said, “Good. You look exhausted.” He adjusted his glasses and then sat next to me and put a friendly pat on my back.
“You have nothing to worry about.”
“I’ve been here for a while haven’t I?”
He nodded. “Yes. They wanted to see if you were still on the drugs or not. Maybe. I don’t know. Or maybe they wanted to question Ted first, before they spoke to you.”
“He’s here? Ted?”
He avoided my stare as he mentioned a glitter of hope that maybe just maybe Ted would do something about this and things would change. Then as Bentley looked the other way I thought about the fact that Ralph had more weight than Ted. So if he couldn’t do anything by now then Ted wouldn’t be much help.
“I would have been sooner, but you know Elizabeth.”
Just as I had thought, she had tried to stop him from defending me. If it were up to her, she would probably have them charge me and bring back the death sentence.
“This is how we’re going to play it. You trust me right?”
I nodded, thinking that I had no choice. The real person I trusted with all my heart was out there looking for my little girl. That part I knew was true.
“Yes.”
“Did they allow you to go to the toilet or even have something to eat?”
He was concerned, but it was the least of my problems. It had given me time to reflect. Up until now all I had done was talked to the police, Will, my in-laws and everyone else. I hadn’t the strength or energy to actually figure out what had happened this morning. Barbara had been with me in the car, as we got on the bus. At the station, that part I was sure. The moment I’d lost her was the fuzzy bit. The part that I had to keep replaying on in my mind to make it clear. That was all I wanted; somewhere in that station I’d lost her. But I just needed to know where, maybe if I could figure that out then the police could go there and get her again.
“Yes, I don’t care about that. I just want to get out of here. Can you do that?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know, but I’m going to try.” I was grateful for his honesty, at least he didn’t give me false hope, but by the same token I wished that he could. Yet, I had a feeling that things were a lot worse than I thought.
The only question then was why?