Chapter 12: Chapter Twelve: Between the Noise

Jess didn’t push it. That was one of the reasons Rowan trusted her. They walked out of the expo center together, the noise fading behind them as the doors shut. Evening air hit cooler than expected, carrying the low hum of traffic and distant music from somewhere down the street.

Rowan exhaled slowly.

“Okay,” Jess said, stretching her arms overhead. “I vote we find something greasy and sit down for at least an hour.”

Rowan huffed a quiet laugh. “You say that like we didn’t just spend the last six hours standing.”

“Exactly. Which means I’ve earned it.”

Rowan smiled faintly, but her mind lagged half a step behind.

“…What was I doing?”

The question echoed again, softer this time. She shook her head, pushing it aside.

“Come on,” she said. “There was a place around the corner.”

They walked side by side, slipping easily into the rhythm they’d had for years. No effort. No pressure. Just… familiar. That helped. The restaurant was busy but not packed, just enough noise to feel alive without overwhelming. They slid into a booth near the back.

Jess immediately grabbed a menu. “Okay, I’m ordering something terrible for me. I deserve it.”

Rowan picked hers up more slowly.

“Define terrible.”

“Fried. Covered in something. Possibly both.”

Rowan smiled. “That tracks.”

A server came by, took their drink orders, and disappeared again. For a moment, Rowan just sat there. The noise of the room wrapped around her, conversations, clinking glasses, someone laughing too loudly two tables over. Normal. Grounding.

Jess looked up, watching her. “You’re still thinking.”

Rowan sighed softly. “I know.”

“Okay,” Jess said, setting her menu down. “Talk.”

Rowan hesitated. “I don’t even know what I’d say.”

“Start there.”

Rowan let out a breath, leaning back against the booth.

“It just feels like…” she paused, searching for the right word. “Like I missed something.”

Jess frowned slightly. “Missed what?”

“That’s the problem. I don’t know.”

Jess studied her for a second.

Okay,” she said slowly. “Is this like normal ‘Rowan overthinking,’ or something else?”

Rowan shook her head.

“No. It’s not that.”

Because when she overthought, she could trace it. Follow the thread back.

This had no thread.

“It’s like…” she tried again, “I had a thought, or a plan, or something and then it just… disappeared.”

Jess leaned forward slightly.

“That happened earlier?”

Rowan nodded.

“And just now,” she added quietly.

Jess didn’t joke this time. Didn’t brush it off.

“Okay,” she said. “That’s a little weird.”

Rowan huffed softly. “Yeah. Thank you.”

Jess tilted her head. “You sure you’re not just exhausted?”

“I thought that at first,” Rowan admitted.

But it didn’t feel like that. Exhaustion made things fuzzy.

This felt, removed. Before she could say anything else, the server returned, setting their drinks down.

Jess picked hers up immediately. “Okay, new topic. Before I spiral with you.”

Rowan smiled faintly. “Please.”

Jess took a sip, then leaned back.

“Five years. Where are you?”

Rowan blinked. “We’re doing this now?”

“Yes.”

Rowan laughed softly, shaking her head.

“I don’t know. Still working, probably. Hopefully not fixing everyone else’s mistakes.”

Jess smirked. “Unlikely.”

“Rude.”

“Accurate.”

Rowan smiled, but it faded quicker this time.

“Probably still here,” she added. “Just… more of it.”

Jess nodded.

“My turn,” she said. “House. Husband. Maybe a kid.”

Rowan raised a brow. “You’ve got that ready.”

“Obviously.”

Rowan leaned back slightly. “You actually want all that?”

Jess shrugged. “Yeah. Just haven’t found someone who doesn’t annoy me after a few months.”

Rowan laughed. “That’s fair.”

Jess pointed at her. “Unlike you, who disappears right before things get real.”

Rowan groaned softly. “I do not disappear.”

“You emotionally exit the building.”

Rowan looked down at her drink.

“…It just never feels right,” she said quietly.

Jess’s expression softened.

“Like something’s missing?” she asked.

Rowan nodded. “Yeah.”

The word came easier now. Jess leaned back, thinking.

“My mom says that means I’m too picky,” Rowan added.

Jess snorted. “Your mom wants grandkids.”

“Immediately.”

“Same.”

They both laughed again, but it was softer this time. Because underneath it, there was truth. Rowan stared down at her drink for a second longer than necessary. Waiting for something. She didn’t know what.

“…Do you ever feel like you’re supposed to be somewhere else?” she asked suddenly.

Jess blinked. “Like physically?”

Rowan shook her head.

“No. Just… something’s off.”

Jess studied her again. Longer this time.

“Okay,” she said finally. “If you start sleepwalking or something, I’m locking the door.”

Rowan laughed softly. “Good plan.” But her pulse ticked up again.

Because this wasn’t a joke. Not really. The food came quickly. Jess immediately claimed the queso, dragging a chip through it like she hadn’t eaten all day.

“I needed this,” she said.

Rowan smiled faintly, unwrapping one of her tacos.

“Pretty sure you say that every time we go out.”

“Because it’s always true.”

Rowan shook her head, taking a bite. It tasted exactly like she expected. Warm. Familiar. And for a second, everything felt normal again.

Jess reached for another handful of fries. “You want some?”

“You’re not actually offering,” Rowan said.

Jess grinned. “Correct.”

While they ate, they talked about the expo. Which vendors they wanted to meet, companies worth approaching, which booths would probably be a waste of time. Normal conversation. Halfway through her meal, she paused. Fork hovering midair.

Jess noticed immediately. “What?” Rowan frowned.

“…Nothing,” she said slowly.

Jess didn’t argue.

But she didn’t look convinced either. Rowan forced herself to keep eating. To keep talking. To stay present. But the feeling lingered. Not confusion. Not fear. Just a gap. Like a sentence she’d been in the middle of… That someone had quietly erased.

Rowan swallowed slowly. “…Okay,” she whispered, almost to herself.

Jess watched her, but didn’t press. And for the first time.

Rowan didn’t try to explain it away. Rowan let the feeling sit Because this wasn’t stress. And it wasn’t in her head. Something was interfering. And whatever it was, it wasn’t done.

Later, back at the hotel, the hallway felt too quiet. Jess swiped the key card, pushing the door open.

“Shower first,” she said immediately, grabbing her bag. “Non-negotiable.”

“Go ahead,” Rowan said, stepping inside.

The door shut behind them. The room settled. Water started running in the bathroom. Rowan stood still. Listening. That feeling came back. Stronger now. Not distant. Closer.